Moonlight
by gumea
Summary: Werewolf girl Vivian enters a different world when she moves to Forks. Why is this handsome but ohsosmelly individual so hostile to her? Fate soon takes a surprising turn and help is needed from her old pack. Can Vivian handle it?
1. A New Beginning

AN: Vivian is taken from _Blood and Chocolate_ by Annette Curtis Klause. Having read it is not a necessity. People who haven't read the book (and those who have) might find _that Blood and Chocolate_'s main character Vivian can bring something fresh turns and twists and expose new sides of previously existing characters. The plot has already been written and I'm really excited about it!

The "conditions" for werewolves are different in both books, but don't fret, all will be explained in the story, and there are good reasons for those differences.

**For those who are familiar with **_**Blood and Chocolate**_** and/or the **_**Twilight **_**series, there has never been an Aiden, Gabriel, or… Bella in this fanfic. They do not exist. **

The use of the word "bitch" in this fanfic is strictly non-vulgar. A bitch is a female dog or wolf and therefore applies to Vivian who is in fact a female werewolf.

Disclaimer: I do not own any from the above mentioned novels. However, this chapter contains a few quotes from _Blood and Chocolate _to create an all round introduction to Vivian and her past.

* * *

Chapter 1 – A New Beginning

I knew, I was dreaming. I was sure, I was dreaming. _How can I wake up from this? Kill myself on purpose? I'll do anything_…

I ran to what I once knew to be my safe haven, but what I since recently identified as my worst nightmare, in the literal sense. The century-old inn was a silhouette fronting hell engulfed in fire. As I neared the smashed front door, to become one with the heat, two figures broke from within. Their night-clothes were smeared with soot, their faces white with terror. I only caught a brief glance at the person who pushed old Aunt Persia out. That person was our pack leader and my father.

I was so shaken to see my father's face again I forgot my initial resolution and helped old Aunt Persia away from the fire. She was the keeper of ancient magics, one could see her as priestess of the moon. She knew of healing powers that could help save some of the charred bodies now moaning on the grass outside of the inn. My father kept pushing more pack out.

Three of the cottages were in flames too, and the barn. Horses screamed in terror as they were chased from the stables by a handful of teenage boys. Somewhere amongst the chaos a woman wailed and wailed.

"They did it on purpose. They burned us out."

A male replied. "Those sneaks! Those cowards!" Somehow the secret that we are loups-garous – or in the common folks mouth 'werewolves' – had been discovered.

"Get her into one of the trucks," a male voice yelled. "I'm bringing the other car around".

I felt a tug on my arm. My mother, Esmé, stood panting beside me. "I put Aunt Persia in my car." I only now noticed she was no longer at my side. "Where's your father?" Now that she stood alone with me her voice rose high in panic.

"He went back in." I answered, my words sounded rough due to smoke and tears.

"Ivan!" Esmé started toward the building… in my memory I stopped her. However, I once again realised I was dreaming, and that my mother was safe. I looked away, knowing how the dream ended and not wanting to see my mother when it did. I looked to the forest that bordered the inn where I saw two pairs of red eyes watching the scene. The vicious fire projected its evil on its surroundings, causing the eyes of onlookers to blaze red. The fire roared its victory; with a crack as if a giant's spine had snapped, a central beam gave way, and the roof collapsed in a peacock tail of sparks and flame. I wanted to do nothing more than to wake up. Thank the moon that I finally did.

* * *

I struggled for breath, wiped the sweat and tears from my face with the back of my hand, and disentangled my legs from the sheets. Unfortunately this had become my routine over the past nine months. I used to sleep with my mother in her now half-empty bed, where we were able to console each other more easily during our restless nights. Only since we moved to Forks have I taken up the habit of sleeping – or trying to – in my own room. Nowadays, I forced myself to perceive my mother's bed as half-full instead. 

My father had sacrificed his life for our pack, trying to save as many as he could. From all ways to die, dying for the pack surely had to be the most honourable. There was meaning in it, cause. These were some of the thoughts I had tried to reinforce over and over again in order to soothe the pain. My mother, being my father's mate, was queen bitch. After the fire in West Virginia hills, still grieving, she ushered the remaining pack members to Maryland which was reasonably close by. It was not a merry place, nor a merry time in my life.

My mother tried to pull rank in trying to organise the now leaderless disorder. However, being female there was only so much she could do. The cocky remainder of the males broke into fights weekly claiming the position of leader using their teeth and claws, instead of words and understanding like my father had. Mates were eager to participate in the ruckus of snapping and flying fur in order to aid their partners. It had resulted in frequent casualties. To me, it felt like my father's noble death to save _those_ pack members was demeaned.

There was only so much pain my mom and I could take. After seven months, we left Maryland and moved to the other side of the continent to Forks, with the state of mind 'The further away from our old pack, the smaller the temptation to go back once again to fix the shards the unruly pack'. Forks seemed ideal due to its vast forests, cliffs, and lack of population – which was indeed an important factor. The chance of anybody knowing our secret had to be reduced at all costs…

* * *

I got up. Today was the first of September. For two months I had looked forward to this day perhaps a little more than I dreaded it. Being alone with Esmé could be a lonely affair in our isolates small house. It was located at the end of a narrow passage, half covered by the flora of the forest obstructing our view of Forks. It was functional for us; easier to sneak in and out of the forest for runs undetected. On the other hand, it gave a physical shape to the emotional barrier we felt between us and humanity. When I did leave the house, I found myself looking longingly at groups of kids laughing together in cars, or at Forks's only bar called Herman's, where my mother worked as a waitress. 

_Why would I want to make friends with people who would kill me if they knew what I was? What if I gave myself away?_ However, the yearning continued, a completely new sensation. I always had the pack around me. I never had to reach out for company, company was always there. When I went to school in West Virginia humans usually shied away from us, or maybe we just never granted them entry in our closely knit group. I wondered if I could do it… make friends, more importantly, make _human_ friends. We hadn't found any wolves yet and what else was there? _It will have to do, better than an existence in solitude._

I grabbed some underwear, faded jeans, a black T-shirt with a small v-neck and walked to the bathroom to shower. I looked at myself in the mirror. _They wouldn't be able to see that I'm loup-garou… would they?_ I stood in my simple white nightgown and twisted this way and that. The seventeen year old girl looking back at me through the bathroom mirror was leggy like her mother, with full breast, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden and glistened slightly from feverishly endured nightmare from a minute ago. Her hair was tawny, long, and wild.

There was nothing out of the ordinary that I could see, nothing to scare a human away. However, the kids in the bar had always avoided contact with me. The young wolves in Virginia howled for me, however, I got the opposite sensations from humans. I guess today I'd find out. I turned on the taps and got in. A low purr escaped my lips, the hot water felt pleasant as it untangled my strained muscles from last nights battle with fire, terror, and bed sheets.

* * *

When I descended the stairs, my mum was already in her waitress uniform, lolling in an easy chair one slim leg thrown over the arm, devouring a granola bar. Without having a husband to take care of, or a pack to direct, Esmé's behavior could be compared to that of a rebellious teenager, stuck in a small town that didn't provide enough means for her to rebel. I knew she was going through a hard time. 

She squashed the granola wrapper, threw it in the air. With lightening speed she threw her leg upwards catapulting the wrapper in the kitchen bin eight feet behind her. Being loups-garous, we had more strength and speed than several men combined. The story goes that the Goddess of the Moon gave it to us. According to the myth her mate, the Forest God – the great hunter who took the shape of a wolf – was in mortal peril. The Moon Goddess was confined to her heavenly realms and was unable to help.

Instead she attuned herself to a chosen group of people blessing them with strength, agility, and acute senses to rescue her beloved. Unfortunately the chosen were too late in order to save the Forest God. When he died some essence of the Forest God was transferred to the attuned, allowing them to take his shape. The Moon Goddess was sick with grief; it was the first time she turned away from earth. However, each month she would return to look back longingly, filled with desire to see her mate. Through their attunement, the blessed were filled with an irresistible desire each month to change into their wolf-skin. For me and my pack it is no different, each full moon the desire to change is too strong to deny.

My mother glanced at me with a smirk on her face. "Hey Viv, excited?" I knew she was happy to get me out of the house. She figured that school would provide a positive change in my now dull existence, or at least give me something to do.

"Hmm," I mused. "More like mildly hopeful." We exchanged some small talk while I munched on my cereal. She kissed me on the cheek and left for work. I placed my bowl in the sink and packed my bag. On my way out I grabbed my raincoat not even bothering to check the weather; if it wasn't raining now, it would be within a few hours. Ever since we arrived in Forks two months ago we've had a total of three sunny days. The rain didn't bother me, I was sick of crying over my father and the pack, to me it felt like the heavens were doing the crying for me, easing my pain.

I locked the door and walked to my Spider i.e. my car; a Spider Veloce 2.0. It sounds like speeds incarnate, a girl can dream. In fact it is an old can that I could push faster than its 50 mph, it was built somewhere in the 1980's. At least it gets me from A to B dry. What else is to be expected with a single mother who works as a waitress? All insurance money was spent on our small house.

I ignited the engine ready to face my new beginning.

* * *

AN: Please review! All comments are appreciated. 


	2. Have Pity on the Nose

AN: While writing this fanfic I'll occasionally place links in my profile of related stuff in case you want to know e.g. what Vivian's car looks like, or see a map of the Forks area to get a better feel of the location. I like making fantasy more tangible,  but to each his own.

* * *

Chapter 2 – Have Pity on the Nose

As the Spider crawled over the 101 highway I tried to be positive. _Today I'm going to be a girl with a sparkling personality; I'll be friendly to the girls and smile at the guys. I will try open up the human side of me as much as I can while hiding my wolf side. What an awful thought… having to hide my splendour. Are these meat people even worth it? Vivian, snap out of it. Today they won't be meat people, but hopefully individuals who can ignite a spark of interest in me._

A large sign saying _Forks High School _indicated that I had reached my destination. Its exterior was quite different from my previous school; my old school was one large block divided into classrooms. This school was a collection of matching houses built with maroon-colored bricks, like some random person woke up one morning thinking that this little neighbourhood would make a fine school. I had to admit, it did look more welcoming than previous schools I'd seen.

I parked in front of the first building in one of the three parking spaces, which had a small sign over the door reading _FRONT OFFICE_. I raised the hood of my raincoat to cover myself from the rain that was now gently falling and got out of the car. I followed a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I opened the door to a brightly lit, slightly humid, small office. On my right there was a small waiting area with padded folding chairs. Space that wasn't intended for walking was filled with plants. As much as I enjoy the green it always seemed wrong to me to confine nature to a pot.

Behind the front desk was a plump redhead woman with purple glasses and purple blouse. She was staring at me like I was the most peculiar thing she had ever seen. "Hello, my name is Vivian Gandillon. I'm supposed to start school here today." The woman composed herself and dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk till she found the ones she was looking for.

"Here you are Vivian," she said while handing me the papers. "This is your schedule, and here is a map of the school premises indicating which classroom is in what building, and _this_ is the sheet you have to let all your teachers sign, at the end of the day you can bring this back to me." I smiled at the woman and thanked her. She wished me a nice day and I returned the favour.

I climbed back into my car and joined the steady flow of cars around the school to park in the students' parking lot. I was mildly stunned to see that most cars were old like my car if not ancient. The nicest car here was a shiny Volvo, and it stood out. I looked at it longingly for a second but redirected my eyes to my schedule; Math, History, French, Biology, Lunch, English, Art, PE.

Once I walked around the cafeteria, building four was easy to spot. _Vivian, just be open and kind, _I reminded myself. I saw a small group of girls walk towards the same building with the large black "4". I followed them inside and mimicked them by hanging my raincoat on a long row of hooks.

Their skin was pale, not that that surprised me with the lack of sun, but the dissimilarity with my golden nakedness separated me from them immediately. They looked at me with some hostile awe and took their seats. When I walked into view of the class it became silent for a second or two, the boys had lust in their eyes and the girls something more vicious. _They should be careful, they haven't met vicious yet._ I thought to them silently. After the two seconds of silence a gush of whispers blew over.

"_Dang_, she is _hot_." A male voice whispered from the right.

"Forget it mate, she is way out of your league."

A simultaneous whisper from the left snapped "She'd better stay away from my man or I'll kick her butt." _Now_ that _was funny_.

"Do you think that's a natural tan? It's too smooth to be natural, probably a spray on," A blond girl with unnatural curls retorted. "Not that she would share her secret with me." I wondered if being open and giving smiles would help with those attitudes.

Ignoring the stares I walked to the teacher. "You must be Vivian Gandillon. Welcome to my wondrous world of Mathematics" he beamed. _Pfff, one of _those_ teachers._ I smiled at him and handed him the sheet. "Take a seat Vivian." I took a seat in the first row next to the window, at least here I could pretend people weren't staring at me. The teacher started scribbling on the blackboard. When he turned he must have noticed that only a meagre few eyes were on him.

"Alright class, you forced me to do this," he took a dramatic pause. "I will have to use… my weapon of math-instruction!" He took out a pointer and started tapping at several equations on the board with a huge smile on his face. He tried too hard to be funny, but his enthusiasm was endearing. I paid attention even though I had covered the trigonometry before; algebra provides more of a challenge for me.

* * *

History and French passed in about the same fashion. Kids stared at me; the girls avoided me and the guys scanned my body. After History two brave boys called Taylor and Shady introduced themselves to me and escorted me to my French class. I guess they were mildly good-looking and deemed themselves worthy. 

I now had to track my way to the Biology lab, room 12. I rummaged through my bag hunting for the school map. _Great I lost it._ I figured I'd take a chance with my social skills and ask two girls I recognised from Math; one had blond fake curls and was 5 feet tall, the other slightly taller with long black hair. They were having an animated discussion and didn't notice me approach.

"Hi," the girl startled when I spoke. "I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the Biology lab." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

"I'm _so_ sorry," her hostility caught me off guard. I suppressed the urge to claw the sarcasm out of her. "We're late for class, come Yess. Oh, and _you_ would do better to stay way from Taylor." The two meat-sacs marched off.

Feeling mildly angry and dejected I walked around until a large black 12 came into view labelling my destination. Thank the moon it was lunch after this lesson. At least then I could put my teeth in something bloody and familiar; my thoughts slipping to the very rare stake in my bag.

I was running late due to the unwillingness of those meat girls to help me. However, as I approached the biology lab the foulest smell pierced my nostrils. It was hard to describe, the closest match would be ice-cream that had expired a lifetime ago; sweet, cold, and ancient, yet not rotten. Moongoddess only knew what kind of experiments went on in these small towns. I was hoping the stench did not originate from the biology lab. My hope was in vain.

I paused outside the door. My final residue of optimism allowed me to hope that biology class would in some way bring some interest to my new life here. I took a deep breath – which I instantly regretted – knocked, and opened the door. All eyes were on me once again.

* * *

"No way." The voice reminded me of velvet. The fact that it was a whisper amplified the soft texture. I looked at the young man who uttered the words. 

"_Velvet, like I haven't heard_ that_ one before" the voice spat. "And this coming from a dog. Ridiculous. One mind I'll be glad not to pick."_

I had registered only one voice, though the lips of the absurdly handsome boy didn't move after enunciating the first two words. The latter didn't come from his direction either, but… from within my head. I was too shocked to even absorb what the mental voice had said, something about velvet and dogs.

His pale face was straight, perfect, angular, and his body well built. His hair was bronze and in disarray. But what struck me most were his shocked eyes; they were black and fierce. He rippled his brow and twitched his nose upwards. Apparently I was not the only one who was bothered by the foul smell in the room. My, what I assumed to be always acute eyes, failed to focus on anything but him.

"You must be Vivian." I turned to see a middle-aged man called Mr. Banner look at me questionably. He obviously thought I was a low-neurological schizophrenic for being in such a stupor. I was probably closer to a high-neurological schizo for hearing voices.

"Yes, that's me." I handed him the sheet like I had to the other teachers. He pointed to the back of the class and told me to take a seat. As I was walking to the back of the class the stench of expired ice-cream intensified. It peaked at the first row where the fierce boy sat.

There was one single seat free at the back next to a slim girl with short brown hair styled in such a way that it emphasised her puffy cheeks. I sat next to her and whispered her a hello. Not expecting her to answer but being too confused to remember the show of hostility earlier today. She looked surprised but not unfriendly and gave me a "hi" back. Slowly sinking back to reality I glanced from her to Mr. Banner. He prattled on endlessly and was covering the blackboard with notes allowing me to talk to my neighbour unnoticed. I looked back at the girl, her face still shaped in surprise.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Am I that weird?" The latter question I probably directed more to myself.

"Nope, not weird. You're just erhm, a babe? People with your hot-rating don't usually tend to talk to us common folk." She explained with an amused look on her face.

"Oh." I so smartly replied and wondered who else could be high on the non-social hot-scale. "Well, then I'm glad you're not common. My name is Vivian."

"Bridget, nice to meet you." I'm not sure if she meant it but she seemed genuine. Perhaps this could be the beginning of my first human friendship. The thought of it relaxed me, perhaps Forks would indeed bring something new to my life that West Virginia hadn't before.

I tried to pay attention to the teacher to at least get some indication of what this lesson was about. Then my eyes fell once again upon the handsome but oh-so-smelly individual in the first row. My nose never failed on me, he was the origin from it all. His posture seemed slightly tense or perhaps annoyed I wondered what his mind was dwelling on. It must be the smell.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Bridget asked me.

"Do what?"

"Rub your nose like that." I lowered my hand, not even realising I was massaging my nose. The smell in the room irritated my nose slightly.

"It's because of this dreadful stench in the room." I answered honestly. "I suspect its coming from the bronze-haired boy. He or his old lunch is making my nose itch." Bridget once again framed her face in the shape of surprise.

"You can't mean Edward." The boy in question turned his head in a reflex and quickly redirected his gaze to the front again, like he had heard his name being called. However, we were whispering, no human ear could have heard that. Bridget blushed a little when she said "I've actually once gone to a perfumery wanting to find what cologne that guy wears coz _dang, _there is little that smells better."

Now it was my turn to be surprised. _What was wrong with this town?_ "There is little I wouldn't rather smell! He stinks." I started tipping my chair balancing on the hind legs without using anything external for balance.

"_An actual dog would have more grey matter than that bitch. Pointing out her abnormalities to the humans and involving me in the process!"_ The velvet voice snarled.

I wondered,_ if he would shower, would I get my sanity back? But if my subconscious was angry, wouldn't it refer to humans as meat-people? And as for calling me a dog… well that's so far off from my magnificence. I don't think any part of me could have referred to my wolf skin in that manner. Why do I keep hearing his voice?_

Edward shot up and turned to face me, sending the desk flying foreword, slamming into the opposite wall missing Mr. Banner by a mere few inches. His actions were too fast and with too much force to be human. _"Can you hear my thoughts?" _the voice said.

Was he talking/thinking to me? This couldn't be true, I had to test this.

_If you can hear mine stick out your tongue. _

In a motion too fast for a human to see, he stuck out his tongue and retracted it. I was so stunned I lost balance and fell backwards banging my head against the floor.

_Yes, Edward. I think I can hear your thoughts._

"_Stagger to the front, tell the teacher you think you should go to the school nurse, I'll escort you. We need to talk."_

* * *

Please review, you guys need to motivate me to keep writing. 


	3. Dew Drops in a Morning Meadow

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_If you can hear mine stick out your tongue. _

In a motion too fast for a human to see he stuck out his tongue and retracted it. I was so stunned I lost balance and fell backwards banging my head against the floor.

_Yes, Edward. I think I can hear your thoughts._

"_Stagger to the front, tell the teacher you think you should go to the school nurse, I'll escort you. We need to talk."_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 3 – Dewdrops in a Morning Meadow

Completely baffled I collected myself from the floor and picked up my bag. I wobbled a bit like Edward requested while walking to the front. "Sir, my head really hurts," that was a lie of course; it takes much more than that to harm a loup-garou. "I would feel more at ease if I could let the school nurse check me out." Mr. Banner looked at me with concern, obviously misinterpreting the by Edward induced confusion.

Edward who was still standing, walked towards me while saying "I'll escort her. She is new here and doesn't know where to go. I'll make sure she'll be ok." His voice rang with sincerity. Not waiting to see if permission was granted, we walked – actually, I wobbled – out of the door. Mr. Banner continued his lesson a couple of seconds after we left.

Once we were out of sight, I stopped the charade of wobbling, and he his act of being a gentleman. He grabbed my arm with inhuman force and started dragging me towards the nearby forest to obstruct us from view. If an outsider would have spotted how this strong young man was yanking a seemingly helpless girl into the forest, they would have informed the police in a second.

He wasn't human. He had the same strength and speed of wolf, though the vibe I got from him; he was nothing like other loups-garous I'd met. I looked in his black eyes, they were agitated and worried.

"First things first," he said. "Can you hear my thoughts now?" I waited for a few seconds. I didn't hear a thing.

"Assuming you are thinking, then no."

"_What about now?"_ the mental voice said.

"Now I can."

"This has never happened to me before." His voice was rough but still held a soft texture, not many people could pull that off. "I don't usually share this, _especially_ not with your kind," his face filled with disgust. _What did he mean by that?_ "But you must have picked up on the fact that my gift is to read minds. For some aggravating reason you can hear mine when I'm listening to yours."

This was all very new to me, but judging from his reaction, this situation was new to him too. He continued, "Don't worry, the idea of you hearing what I think doesn't exactly appeal to me. I plan on always tuning you out."

"You said gift, who gave it to you?" He stopped walking near the forest edge and let go of my arm, but didn't look at me.

"In my human life I had a knack for interpreting what people were thinking, that trait got amplified in this existence, where I can actually hear people's thoughts." _What did he mean with his _human_ life?_

He started marching deeper into the woods again, I was at his side. He spoke again, "I've never had somebody hear my thoughts before let alone a werewolf." I was so perplexed I stumbled over a branch and fell on my shoulder.

"You know what I am???" _Oh goddess, oh goddess. Dear moon please don't let this lead to the situation of West Virginia._ I got up. This time he did look at me; his look told me he thought I was an idiot.

"Well yeah… you dogs don't exactly smell like dewdrops in a morning meadow." _What a hypocrite, _he_ was the one stinking up the room._

"Why are you so annoyed with me?"

"For one, a dog can hear my thoughts." I had to address that, I wouldn't let him refer to me like that again. "And two, your lunch is making me thirsty."

What an oddly combined sentence. I mentally shrugged, opened my bag and handed him my bottled water.

"_Is she really that daft?"_

"You have made your point on what you think about my intellect." I was getting seriously aggravated now. "I'm just trying to be kind here. Plus, you said you were going to put that mental block up. What is your damn problem?"

"Vivian," he paused and looked at me questionably, his face softer somehow. "I had to check your thoughts to see if you were sincere, I tuned you out again, no worries. I thought you knew that it's not water that I thirst for." _Oh really?_ I mentally branded him a pervert. "You don't have the slightest idea what I am, do you?"

My silence confirmed his suspicion.

He pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. "Vivian, I'm a vampire."

I stood there while seconds ticked by. "But… " His face turned abruptly severe. "But… what about the sun, shouldn't you be on fire?" His face relaxed and he released a thunderous laugh; something I didn't expect.

I jumped back of fright, but the small boulder behind me didn't allow my feet to move with me, causing my upper body to pivot. I had fallen more today than I had in five years, this was getting ridiculous. This time however, Edward prevented my encounter with the forest floor. He draped one arm around my shoulders, stopping my fall. My eyes met his, they seemed altered somehow; there was a faint golden glow around the iris, it reminded me of a solar eclipse, one in each eye. He pulled my torso back to its vertical position and withdrew his arm.

"The sun doesn't harm me, we avoid direct sunlight for a different reason." His stance was less tense now. "Garlic or wooden spikes don't bother me either, all myths to feed Hollywood. It's the same for you werewolves with full moon and silver." He seemed to tense up again, as if the reminder of what I was made him on his guard.

"Edward, relax a little. I'm glad that stakes and garlic don't bother you, but I still have to obey the calling of the moon; at full moon I can't remain in my human skin." Edward looked sceptic, but I continued. "And as for silver, when paired with wolf-blood, it burns through the flesh like acid." The myth went that if the blessed would abuse the gift of being loup-garou, the Moon Goddess would turn her light into silver and kill them all.

"Yes, of course." His features cold; Edward was back on full hostility mode. He started walking back in the direction we came from. I sighed and walked after him, he didn't believe me.

"Vivian, you might be new to vampires, but unfortunately I _am_ familiar with werewolves. I've seen them in their human form on full moons and I have once personally thrown silver in one of their wounds, it didn't seem to bother the brute."

"Well I'm glad you are "familiar" with them, but for some _ludicrous_ reason I think I would know better. Why were you fighting him?"

"Vivian, we are mortal enemies," he growled, not even trying to hide his anger. I let him march off. He neared the school while I was still covered by some shrubs.

"What did I ever do to deserve that title?" I whispered, though I know he must have heard me.

I felt such a confusion of emotions. I never really saw myself as the sensitive type, but what happened over the past hour was such an unnatural rush for me. I longed to turn around into the forest and run as fast as I could in my fur. Maybe chase a fresh bunny and have it for lunch, or something larger to take my mind of things. My unbidden claws lengthened at the thought.

I shrugged it off. It wouldn't be the best idea to go missing after being seen walking off with Edward. Even though his rudeness affected me in ways I didn't think a stranger could manage, I didn't want him to be in trouble. I thought back about the twin solar eclipse in his eyes; under the surface of hostility he seemed… pure and deep, like there was more to his resentment. One thing was sure, that guy had some serious issues.

I started for the school again. I heard a low buzz hum in the distance signalling the end of classes and the beginning of lunch. I wondered if Bridget would take me in her social circle and have lunch with me. I was still rooting for a friendship.

* * *

The cafeteria was located in the centre of the school premises. It was about the same size as the gym, providing enough space to host all students. When I entered I screened the soft-yellow dyed room for puffy brown hair with matching cheeks. The north side of the building was lined with a food counter. The remainder of the room was filled with tables, gradually being occupied by students. 

I spotted Bridget, she was sitting with some kids at one of the latter tables at the east side of the room. To my dismay, I recognised that amongst the kids at the table there was the fake curled girl referred to as "Yess" with her partner in crime. _Fantastic._

Slightly nervous I made my way towards their table. The dark-haired meat-sac saw me. "What does that b---- want now?" My ears easily heard her across the room. Bridget looked up and saw me. She smiled and beckoned me.

"Lauren, be kind. I think she means well. She sits next to me in Bio." Lauren sulked.

I returned the smile as I made it to their table. "Hey Bridget, could I join you and your friends?" _Is that how humans ask these things? Or was I making a fool of myself?_

"Yeah, make yourself at home." She scooted over. She pointed at the people at the table while listing their names, starting with the girl sitting on her other side. "This is Angela," she smiled shyly, had puppy brown eyes that matched her brown straight hair. "Mike," he had blond hair neatly spiked. "Taylor," he was lanky, but had a good face. "Lauren," the rude girl that told me to stay away from Taylor. "Shady," I only now noticed – now that he was amongst the other albinos – that his skin tone was darker. I wondered where he was from. "And Yessica." The girl with the fake blond curls who previously wanted to know about my 'tan'.

All muttered hellos and welcomes with two exceptions. They all munched on cafeteria food with the exception of Angela who had brought some home-made lunch, at least I wasn't the only one then. I had to fake being normal as much as I could. I got out my stake and cutlery while reflecting over the encounter I had with Edward.

Lauren eyed my lunch and spoke up. "What Vivian, you don't have a cooker at home?" Unable to control the aggravation I felt for that girl combined with the frustration Edward had induced, I cut of a large piece of the cow meat. I sank my teeth in the bloody tenderness while staring her dead in the eye.

"I guess I just _love_ the taste of blood." I tried to suppress growling the words. The others had stopped their small talk and gawked at me.

The guys started hollering with laughter, the girls joined nervously – with the exception of Lauren, who looked like a dear caught in headlights; prey. Her reaction actually triggered an urge to sink my teeth into _her_, which I instantly brushed off.

At that moment the room was filled with an awful stench, one that I recognised immediately. Even though the cafeteria was filled with a vast number of humans who diluted it, the scent seemed slightly stronger. I directed my gaze in the direction of the door across the room looking for Edward.

He was accompanied by four other students, they didn't look anything alike. Two of them were male; one was big, muscled, like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. The other was taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The girls were opposites; one was… drop dead gorgeous; tall, statuesque, with golden hair gently waving to the middle of her back. The other girl was short, pixie-like, thin in the extreme with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction. They were all exceedingly beautiful, including Edward, with pale marble-like skin. Knowing that Edward was a vampire, I could assume that his accompanists were too.

They all looked at me – with the exception of Edward. It wasn't difficult to guess the subject of a recent discussion that probably caused them to be late.

"Maybe we can teach her fetch." The now a-little-less-stunning-in-my-opinion blond girl sneered.

The bulky laughed. He glanced at Edward and shrugged. "At least she's hot?"

The blond girl slapped him on the cheek with such vigour that the sound made a few heads turn.

The taller, leaner honey blond boy had his face twisted in that of serious concentration. The pixy-like short haired girl looked at him and said "Can't she eat a cheese sandwich like normal people?"

I thought back of what Edward said about my lunch making him thirsty. It made me feel guilty; I knew how hard it was trying to hide a secret from the world. I ate the steak as fast as human speed would allow. "I'm off to the bathroom." I announced to nobody in particular, I wanted to wash the blood out of my lunchbox.

"I'll join you." Bridget announced. I guess human girls are just weird that way. We got up, I took the box with me.

The bathrooms attached to the cafeteria were tiled white. There was a row of cubicles with three sinks. It smelt moderately clean. I started washing out the box with water and soap until my superior nose couldn't smell the red liquid any longer.

"Erhm…" Bridget shifted uncomfortably. I had forgotten about her presence for a second there. "Listen, I'm really not as bad as Lauren or Yess. But…" She looked at me pleadingly. "But you're not interested in Shady by any chance are you? I like him so much, and I don't think I could compete with you." she confessed.

I was dazed for a second. My head was so full with secret worlds it escaped my notice that something so… human, was bothering Bridget.

"Oh god, you are." She said, and looked at the floor defeated.

"Oh no Bridge, I'm not at all." She looked up at me hopefully. "Plus I don't even think he is interested in me. He did introduce himself to me after History, but I got a feeling that happened because Taylor dragged him." I tried to reassure her. She lit up and hugged me. _I must be getting good at this human thing_, I thought feeling proud of myself.

"Where is he from anyway? He doesn't look like the typical Forks citizen."

"From Egypt. Can you believe it?!" glad to be talking about the chosen subject. "It's so… exotic. Nah, that's not the right word…" I wanted to listen but my mind was still occupied by the events of this hectic day this was turning out to be.

We walked out of the bathroom, me holding my now blood-free lunchbox when I looked back in the direction of – what I assumed to be – Edward's family to see if the tall boy had relaxed. He had. The pixy-like girl looked at me gratefully. I gave her a small nod and followed Bridget back to our table.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Please, please, keep posting them; they make me really happy. 

PS: This was a painful chapter to write. I got my index finger stuck in a rusty metal gate. Had to get a tetanus shot too, how much I love getting foreign bodies poked into my arm. ;P


	4. A Waterfall of Colours

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We walked out of the bathroom, me holding my now blood-free lunchbox when I looked back in the direction of – what I assumed to be – Edward's family to see if the tall boy had relaxed. He had. The pixy-like girl looked at me gratefully. I gave her a small nod and followed Bridget back to our table.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 4 – A Waterfall of Colours

The vampires sat alone at their table, their trays of food in front of them. They occasionally picked at the slices of pizza or bagel with their long, pale fingers, but didn't actually put any of it in their mouths – of course. I wondered what they did eat. _They couldn't actually drink humans could they? How could they maintain a permanent residence if they did? _

It wasn't a very rare event that a Loup-garou had gotten wrapped up with the scent of man and went mad with bloodlust. One is always attracted by that which he can't have, wolves are no exception. Whenever it did happen the pack would have to relocate and execute the blood-driven wolf in order to maintain anonymous; iron rules enforced to protect the pack. Pack was all that mattered. I looked at the vampires longingly, different as they were; at least they had each other. Agreed, I had my mom. However, one rebellious mother doesn't create a pack feeling.

They were talking at an unnatural low volume so I couldn't hear them across the room. I couldn't be sure what their attitudes were towards me. Edward was definitely bothered, I think the swimsuit model blond was too, but overall they didn't seem too interested. I think they decided that their "mortal enemy" wasn't a threat to them. I, however, _was_ curious. The past nine months of mourning over my father and pack made me eager to grab a new topic to brood over.

* * *

Bridget and I retook our seats at the human table. Lauren was radiating the poise of triumph. I wondered why, but didn't care enough to find out. 

"_She told the others that you__ threw up your lunch in the toilet to maintain your figure."_ an unfriendly voice announced. _"Alice wanted you to know."_

_Erhm, thanks Edward. Who's Alice?_

"_My sister, short black hair."_

_The mortal enemy thanks her. _I thought to him to let him know his show of hostility wasn't appreciated. There was no reply; he had probably tuned me out again.

I couldn't care less what Lauren thought I was doing in the bathroom. I'd rather have her believe that than me washing blood away to make things easier for the bloodsucking vampires a few tables down. However, that didn't mean I couldn't piss her off just a tad. An evil smile curved my lips and I looked at her. "Oh darn, I must have lost my school map." I pouted, without looking into my bag.

I changed the subject of my attention and looked at him from underneath my long lashes. "Taylor, you seem like such a _fine_ young man." I took a pause, gently bit back my lower lip, and let it slowly roll forward again. "Why don't you _take me…_" I breathed while seizing his palm and circling it with my fingertips, "to my English class?" I was overdoing it just a bit.

Taylor puffed up like rooster. He pulled a grin so big, I was sure it would stretch his face permanently. Bridget chuckled, probably smart enough to realize what I was doing. To my pleasure Lauren fumed.

"But of course, sweet Vivian." He stood up and extended his arm like a teacup's. I gracefully draped mine through his and put a swing in my hips as we walked off.

On our way out I took a final peek at Edward. For the first time this lunch period he was looking back at me; his expression bewildered. Alice winked at me, I winked back. I don't think she cared much about the whole "enemy" thing.

* * *

English class proved to be in the building adjacent to the cafeteria. Not much of a walk, however, we were followed by most eyes while we made it there. Taylor was giving a show worthy of an Alpha-male. I smiled, but it didn't touch my eyes. I couldn't help but feel that I'd rather have wild bronze hair diagonally above me accompanied by annoyed black eyes; it would have been a more interesting walk than this. The buzzer rang, classes would start soon. 

"We share this class" Taylor said. "You are in luck because the seat next to me hasn't been filled yet." _Like he was such a prize._ Seeing no other viable options I sat next to him in the third row. "So, what brought you here to Forks?" He leaned his head on his palm to look at me.

I wondered if I could undo the damage of making him think I was into him, or at least stop the socializing. "My father died while our house burned down."

"Oh," he didn't expect that. "I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you're ok." All I wanted was to prevent him from questioning me. I didn't expect that his sympathy would create a tear in my barely healed wounds. I swallowed.

He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. _Who knew humans could be this kind?_ Though they could never understand what calmed me. I inconspicuously kicked off my shoes and socks and placed my bare soles on the floor. It was not nearly as good as the soils of the wood but I had to ground myself. I slowly started to feel better.

Mike and Angela entered the class room, they had English with us. I assumed Bridget, Shady, and Lauren took English at higher level. I guess her having Shady made up for having Lauren, I smiled.

The curriculum for this year was fairly basic: Brontë, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I had covered all but Shakespeare and Brontë; that was comforting. Biology, French, and Art came easier for me, and those were in fact my higher-levels.

At the end of class I let the teacher sign my sheet. Taylor gallantly escorted me – could also been observed as showing off – to my Art class. None of the human bunch I'd met today joined this class, to my relief. I longed for human company when I first set foot on the premises, but now I felt I had overdosed on it, never having had much human contact before.

* * *

Ms. Pleasance was the first teacher I had who was female. She was short and plump. She had big round glasses on top of her aged face. Ms. Pleasance smiled pleasantly when she signed my sheet and pointed to an empty chair, I took the seat amongst the regular students. 

I looked around; two of the four walls were occupied with large windows giving a view of the forest that started not too far behind it, the remaining wall-space was filled with paintings probably done by students; some were very impressive. The cabinets that lined the walls were filled with pots, tubes, pencils, and paper in brilliant colours. The surroundings were soothing but vibrant. The air of the room was serene until Ms. Pleasance opened her mouth.

"Hello class! Welcome to this new school year! I'm positive we'll make it a lovely one!" she hollered even though the whole class was quiet and there was no external noise.

"Because we have a new student here," she eyed me friendly. "and because I want to know if the bunch of you improved since last school year, I will grant you all one week to paint, draw, sculpt, to create what ever you please! Mesmerize me! Hop to it!"

I was planning to do just that – not the hopping bit – but through art I found a way to express what I felt while running, with the moon on my back, the exciting smells of the woods, all of it. And as Théophile Gautier once wisely said 'Art for art's sake', nobody ever thought more of it. The white canvas was a doorway to reveal my wolf-side to the human world harmlessly.

I grabbed one of the larger canvases, an easel, brushes, and paints. That was the last time I noticed students staring at me. I lost myself in a waterfall of browns, greens, and yellows.

Time must have passed for Ms. Pleasance shrieked to start clearing up. I cleaned my art supplies and placed my canvas in a small storage room designated for our class. I looked at what my fellow students had spent their time on. In some paintings I saw shapes develop of a slim girl with wild, auburn, hair. I frowned,_ typical_. At least it gave them an excuse to stare at me.

* * *

_Finally, the last lesson_. I made my way to the gym, it was one of the largest buildings in the school premises, therefore I didn't require an escort in finding it. I made my way into the changing rooms Bridget and Angela were already there. 

"Hi guys," I greeted them cheerfully. Angela mumbled something I assumed to be "hi", I think she was just painfully shy. Bridget was more enthusiastic.

"Hey, that was gruesome what you pulled on Lauren. I loved it! If I had the balls and looks I would have probably done it myself. Did you know what rumor she spread about you? That you threw up your lunch when we went to the bathroom." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes I – erhm, really?" I almost slipped there.

"Uh huh. She has a rep of being a meany. Don't worry too much about it, I don't think it tainted you on your first day here. Are you liking it here so far?"

Now to think of it, "I think I do like it here. It has been… interesting." I smiled.

"Good, the very odd occasion that people do move here all they can do is complain 'ohh the rain, the small population, not even a cinema.'" She pulled a different mocking face with every complaint. I laughed at her.

"Well, I'm a nature freak." Hopefully she would never find out the extend of that truth. "I love the forest and I heard about the cliffs that are not too far away." _I should visit those one day_. "I'm a happy puppy here." She nodded in approval.

Gym was exactly the boring event I imagined it to be. I jogged at human pace and consciously dropped the volleyball a few times. I even threw in a stumble. At the end of the lesson I faked being worn out. I couldn't fake sweat though, but that seemed trivial enough.

After PE I exchanged phone numbers with Angela and Bridget officially marking us as 'friends', the thought made me giddy.

* * *

I walked into the parking lot and from a distance looked longingly at the shiny Volvo. To my surprise Edward was in it listening to some music. He noticed me. 

"Nice car" I said at normal volume.

"Thanks" he said back.

"Wanna trade?" I cocked my head in the direction of my can labled a Spider Veloce.

Unable to surpress his grin he shook his head and drove off to wait for his family at a nearby building.

I entered my car, threw my bag on the passenger seat, ignited the engine. Mom wouldn't be home until 17:15. I would have enjoyed running with her; spend some quality time. But waiting for another two hours was more than I could bare. I had actively kept my wolf side restricted for too long, I was sure I would burst if I didn't go now.

I ignited the engine and crawled my way home.


	5. No more Eclipse

A/N: Apparently I had anonymous review disabled, I'm really sorry about that because I would have definitely appreciated all your anonymous input! Just so you know, it's on again .

* * *

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I entered my car, threw my bag on the passenger seat and ignited the engine. Mom wouldn't be home until 17:15. I would have enjoyed running with her; spend some quality time. But waiting for another two hours was more than I could bare. I had actively kept my wolf side restricted for too long, I was sure I would burst if I didn't go now.

I ignited the engine and crawled my way home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 5 – No more Eclipse

I parked the car in our driveway glad to see it was no longer raining. The sky was a mild grey; it would probably stay dry for a couple of hours. Just to be sure I threw my bag on the small balcony attached to my room. I ran around the house at the speed I desired and darted for the forest, sliding off items of clothes along the way. My skin already prickled with the sprouting pelt.

A trickle of breeze curled around my butt. I laughed and threw off my bra. The laugh turned to a moan at the first ripple of bones. I tensed my thighs and abdomen to will the change on and clutched the night air like a lover as my fingers shortened and nails sprouted. My blood churned with heat like desire. The exciting smells of rabbit and damp earth saturated the air.

My legs buckled to a new shape. I doubled over as the muscles of my abdomen went into a brief spasm, then grimaced as my teeth sharpened and my jaw extended. I felt the momentary pain of the spine's crunch and then the sweet release.

My new form was slightly larger than any natural wolf, plus my ears were longer, as were my hind legs. 'Wolf' was a convenient term to describe my splendour.

I stretched lavishly and pawed at the ground. I liked hunting what I desired in my human form, but I loved celebrating as wolf. Then I was off, my tail could sweep the clouds from the sky.

After a few hours the moon took its position in the heavens. In five days the goddess would look upon us; full moon on Saturday.

After having tested my claws on a tree, a chill went through me. I got an ill feeling that I was being followed. I circled the tree, my eyes scanning my surroundings. I sniffed the air for a sign of danger. My mind registered a familiar scent that reminded me of home. I turned around to see my mother in her brown fur launching herself at me, menace in her eyes. Unable to dodge her she bit my ear playfully. I yelped in surprise and then managed to get hers. She licked my muzzle.

She took in the night air and howled. I smelled it too; a dear was near. Seeing as it was dinner time, she wasn't the only one who was hungry. We raced through the forest side by side to get our kind of take out.

In these moments, I was happy.

* * *

The following morning I woke up early, once again bathed in sweat after seeing my father die in blazing fires. The last image burned into my retina were red eyes at the forest edge reflecting the ravenous fire. I opened my eyes focussing on the ceiling instead. My room was ordinary white, with wooden floors, a wooden closet, and a simple wooden twin bed – it came as a set, it was cheaper that way – with a balcony giving a view of the narrow passage that led into Forks.

I got up, today I felt slightly spontaneous; I pulled out a white sleeveless cotton dress with a red embroided flower crawling from the back to the front. I had never worn it. I bought it when I last went shopping with some pack members. I considered it too cheerful to wear before. Though, yesterday went well, and as I said… I was feeling spontaneous. Soon it would be too cold to even consider the thing.

I showered, finished some homework, packed my cheese sandwich – with a hopefully less pissed Edward in mind – and kissed my mum goodbye.

* * *

I drove into the school's parking lot to see most of the parking places vacant. I parked my car and turned off the engine and reclined on the driver's seat. _Maybe the white dress wasn't the greatest of ideas. People here all seem to be fond of black and dark colours. The last thing I want to do is stand out more._

I modelled my hair in a low ponytail and looked into the rear-view mirror to see if I'd done it well when I saw a Greek god, uh-hum, I mean Edward, approaching in a sleeveless white button down shirt and beige jeans that complimented his bronze hair. Seeing his toned arms sent chills up my spine.

It appeared that I was the destination of his little stroll. I got out and locked the car. I turned to meet his gaze right in front of me.

"Hi." He said, and smiled at me. "How are you today?" His chiselled features were… friendly.

I cocked my head. "Who are you? Where is the constipated man I met yesterday?"

He smirked. "I think I owe you an apology."

"That would be the first thing we both agree upon. I'm listening."

"Why don't we sit down, we have about twenty minutes before school starts. I'll explain. I promise." His eyes were different today; butterscotch. Like the moon moved away from the golden sun behind it. My head felt oddly light looking at them.

"I'm intrigued," I managed to say. "Lead the way." There was a bench to the side of the cafeteria. While walking there at human pace he started to explain.

"Yesterday I had a talk with my father; he is older and has seen more. He was fascinated by what I told him about you. He told me that your family, the Gandillons, are ancient and nothing like the werewolves I've personally met before." I wondered who those other wolves were, but I didn't dare interrupt. We sat down on the bench.

He looked at me, still slightly wary, but with interest. "He told me that you are a different 'brand', if you don't mind me saying, of a werewolf. You exist because of the powers of the moon. While the werewolves I met exist because I exist," his tone oddly wistful.

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm, let's find a different name for them to make the distinction clearer. Let's just call the other werewolves 'Quileutes'." He smiled like I missed a joke. "They have a werewolf gene, which only gets activated when vampires are close to them. At puberty they will change from human to werewolf, the second trigger to initiate the change is anger."

"Sounds like a pleasant bunch." I said sarcastically.

Edward pressed his lips together to prevent laughing. "You have no idea, and I honestly thought you were one of them. But as it were, their werewolf gene gets passed on the Y-chromosome, therefore there will never be a female werewolf Quileute. I was not aware of this." His expression apologetic. He continued.

"They mate with humans. However, because anger triggers the change, it happens that they sometimes severely hurt or even kill their spouse when enraged." My stomach churned with pity.

"The reason they exist is to kill vampires; natures way for damage control." He smiled but it didn't touch his eyes. "You, on the other hand, were born a werewolf, right? You could change from when you were a baby?" I nodded in confirmation. His eyes held interest. "and you don't feel the need to kill me?"

I laughed, "No, but I suggest you don't push your luck like you were doing yesterday." I paused. I had been wondering about this for a while. "Edward, what… do you eat or er, drink?" I tried to sound casual but failed miserably; I didn't want to scare him off.

His gaze sauntered to the woods. "We don't hunt humans if that's what you mean, only animals. We refer to ourselves as vegetarians." His lips twitched at another inside joke. "It doesn't provide the same satisfaction, but it dulls the thirst adequately."

"Thank the moon" He frowned at me, like I said something weird.

He seemed comfortable enough with me now. He must really trust his father's words to change his opinion about me so swiftly, or perhaps his sister Alice had something to do with it. Though, I couldn't help but feel that there still was a dolorous undertone to him when he spoke about being a vampire, it was hardly noticeable, but there.

The buzzer rang, he made a move to stand up. I held him back with my hand. His skin was cold, but soothing in a way. He looked at my hand when his eyes clouded over for a split second and found my eyes once again.

"Uhm, can I ask you one more thing?" He inclined his head to will me on. "I really hope this is a vampire-wolf thing because I don't want to insult you, but why do you…" _smell, stink, REEK_ "have a distinctive odour?"

"That's one way of putting it," he mused. "Even though you are not my enemy," _Thank god we're past that phase._ "it is a natural warning that a powerful being is near." One side of his mouth pulled up into a crooked smile.

My heart skipped a beat. "I consider myself warned." He took my hand from his arm, gave it a squeeze, turned and walked away.

"I'll see you in Biology," he called over his shoulder. Three people walking by stopped to stare at me.

I stood up. _Didn't I have to do something now? Vivian, get a grip. Oh yeah, Math._ I picked up my bag and sprinted with the speed of a meat-sac to my class. I was late.

"Nice of you to join us." Mr. Varner said once I entered the classroom. "Next time take the derivative of your speed and make it acceleration, eh?" _Whatever that means_. I nodded.

Taylor waved at me and Mike eyed me kindly. Yessica and Lauren pretended not to notice me. I took my seat in the first row again, unable to keep my mind of Edward.

* * *

After Math Taylor walked me to History. 

"Hi Vivian, how are you today?" He seemed excited.

"I'm good thank you. And you?" We exchanged some small talk about the weather and discussed some funky dream he had last night. I really wasn't interested in him, other than perhaps a friendship. Still, I appreciated the kindness he showed me yesterday and didn't want to be rude.

In History we were covering World War Two in detail. The teacher was talking about it like he had been part of it himself though he wasn't too old. He assigned us a ridiculous amount of reading to do by tomorrow. I felt rather sorry for the humans in my class. My speed allowed me to do these things faster.

Taylor escorted me to French again. He left me at the door for he had Spanish instead.

I enjoyed French, it was such a graceful language. The verbs and tenses initially were a pain, but once I got my head around them it really wasn't that bad. I wondered, e_st-ce que je pourrais penser en français ? Il viendrait dans maniable si Edouard pousse autour dans ma tête encore. _(Could I think in French? It would come in handy if Edward starts poking around in my head again.)

I dismissed the idea, he probably knew French already, though I assumed he'd be in Spanish class now. If you have eternity on your hands, he must have taken French once upon a time, right? I wondered how old he really was, assuming the non-ageing trait wasn't myth.

I mentally changed topics; I wondered how mom was doing. I pictured her serving coffee to two backpackers at Herman's and them staring at her butt as she turned away again. She probably missed the pack even more than I did; going from Queen Bitch to single mother.

Edward mentioned Quileutes, he made them sound as ticking brutes ready to explode. My mom and I could take a few blows if it came to that. I think having wolves around her in any shape or form would do her good, as long as we would be careful. Edward must know where to find them, I wondered if he would share the information.

I looked around the class. Only one student was staring at me. I guess the novelty of me wore off. The dress didn't seem to be a problem either. I lolled in my chair feeling comfortable. The mourning, the pack problems, all had come to an end. Things were good now, I had something to catch my interest and I would take care that my mother would find company too.

French class was over. I gathered my school items rapidly. Mr. Banner would be falsely flattered if he knew how excited I was to get to Biology class.

* * *

A/N: The foundation is nearly finished. After that, let's bring on some action. ;) 


	6. Players

A/N: Please keep reviewing. I read all reviews several times; they inspire me to write.

The index finger that I got stuck in the rusty gate finally has a fresh layer of skin over it. However, I sliced the knuckle of my middle-finger adjacent to that index finger with a can opener… Don't ask me how I manage to do these things. I'm afraid I'm turning into Bella Swan, though my boyfriend doesn't have that bloodsucking quality to him.

* * *

Chapter 6 – Players

There he was, leaning easily against the wall of the maroon coloured structure labelled room twelve.

"Hello, Vivian." My name sounded delightful when it rolled from his lips.

"Hello, Edward." I replied casually. He seemed amused. I was probably the first girl he met in – what I assumed to be – ages, not to ogle over him. Or maybe I just managed to repress the ogling more. "I've been wondering about something."

"I'm sure you have." We made our way into the classroom and therefore kept the volume low.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen." His answer seemed too practiced to be true.

"And for how long have you had that pleasure?" We had reached his desk. He sat down while keeping our stares connected.

"If _only_ we didn't have class. I think you need to take your seat Miss Gandillon." He winked at me, allowing one set of eyes to disconnect.

He was such an annoying tease. I bet he was trying extra hard to make me physically gape at him. _I hope you enjoy disappointment_, I thought to him and walked off with a minor swing in my hips, mentally wagging my tail.

Bridget greeted me before I could beat her to it.

"Well dress me in a tutu and tickle my toes, did I just see you talking to Edward Cullen?" I laughed a little too loud. Mr. Banner scolded me. "Remember yesterday I told you about that high non-social hot-rating?"

"Yes?"

"Well Edward _owns_ that." I wasn't really surprised. Edward had his family, he probably never felt the urge to socialize. Plus, playing with potential food isn't everything.

_Hmm, __Shall I?_ I knew he would be able to hear me perfectly. He was playing and so could I. Plus, I was still feeling… spontaneous. "Really? You think he's hot? Nah, I've seen better." I saw Edward shift I micro meter.

"What?!" Bridget exclaimed.

Mr. Banner was getting seriously cross. "One more word from you two and I'll have you report to the office." Our conversation ended there.

"_Now, I know you were making that up." _Edward mentally challenged me.

_How would you know?_

"_I've been around long enough not to have to hear people's thoughts about some things." _Though the tone of his thought betrayed a speck of doubt. I mentally pumped my arm in victory.

"_What was that for?"_

_Oh nothing. _I smiled. _But listen Edward,_ _I've been open with you so far, and unlike you, I've never shown you any form of enmity. Answer me, how old are you? _

"_What if she takes it in a bad way?"_

_I won't._

"_Alright," he paused. "I've been a vampire since 1918."_

I shrugged. _I've always liked my men older anyway,_ I thought to myself. I caught my forehead with my hand. _You must have heard that._

"_Naturally, but I knew I was right. No surprise here." _I saw his shoulders shake in quiet cocky laughter. I rolled my eyes. _"I kind of like this non-editing we have going on here. Feel like continuing our flow of consciousness?"_

Knowing what he would be thinking was the special treat any girl could ask for.

_Alright. So… being a century and all that, ever considered having kids?_

"_I can't. Along with the heart the internal organs die too."_

_So you can't…_

"_No."_

_At all?_

"_No__," _his tone had that oddly wistful quality to it again.

Guilt seeped through me. _I shouldn't have branded him a pervert yesterday. The poor guy can't even get it up._

Edward jumped in his seat.

"_WHAT? No, _that_ works fine. I'm just not fertile."_

Mr. Banner was startled by Edward's sudden movement. "Is something wrong Edward?"

"It's _fine_," he said with a little excess volume.

I was having the time of my life.

"_Why did she brand me a pervert yesterda__y? Could she have heard my thoughts? I thought I had tuned her out."_

This was getting better and better. He turned to look at me, wondering if I caught that. My impish grin provided the answer.

"_Hmm, I underrate__d editing."_

_I guess you did._ I waited for him to respond.

"_I am curious, when did you label me a pervert?"_

_When we were in the woods, when you said you didn't thirst for water. And with men it's really not that hard to imagine what else they might thirst for. _

"_I guess in your case you__ would be right. Let's stop our little train of thoughts here. I think you changed my ways in making me a verbal conversationist instead. But before I bid you goodbye, you should say something to Bridget; she has been noticing continuous changes in your expression and thinks you lost it."_

I smiled – how counterproductive of me. _Ok, thank you Edward._

"_Till lunch Vivian." _

The realm of my mind was mine once again. I looked at Bridget who was indeed peeking at me from the corner of her eye.

_How could I best explain myself: a dream, a joke, a situation? __Perhaps all of the above. _

"You must think I'm nuts," I whispered.

"Actually, I was." She looked puzzled, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm thinking about writing a book. I was picturing a scene and how some characters would interact with each other." It was the best I could come up with.

She sighed in relief. Apparently it was a plausible enough explanation.

Mr. Banner was handing out sheets describing which chemical changes take place in the Kreb's Cycle. I looked at it baffled, _did he expect us to memorise all these __Oxaloacetate, Isocitrate, α-Ketoglutarate names? _Bridget released a second sigh. _Apparently so_.

I paid attention, deciding that this appeared to be too difficult to miss by daydreaming about the up coming lunch period. By the end of class I managed to get the gist of it.

While I was tucking my book back in my bag, I smelled Taylor as he manoeuvred himself into the classroom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward looking annoyed as he placed his books in his bag.

"Hi Vivian," Taylor beamed. "I thought I'd walk you to the cafeteria, keep you some company," he winked.

Edward appeared at my side. He raised his eyebrows to its maximum and twitched his nose, then relaxed his features while saying at lightning speed "If you won't get rid of this idiot, I will."

Taylor eyed Edward peculiarly, "Bless you." To Taylor's imperfect ears it must have sounded like a hiss. I had to do everything in my power to prevent laughing. Edward probably didn't want me to hear his thoughts.

"I really appreciate that Taylor, but Edward had kindly requested that favour before you. I'm sorry." I was sincere about being sorry, though I was over the moon Edward had taken an interest in me.

Taylor mumbled "It's ok." He eyed Edward. "There is always next time," and he was off. I didn't think he got the hint.

During this all Bridget gaped at us exchanging stares between speakers. She cleared her throat. "So Vivian, I'm saving you a seat?" It was a question. I, myself wasn't sure what Edward's plans were.

"That is considerate of you but unnecessary." Edward told her in a low, attractive voice. "You had the pleasure of Vivian's company yesterday, it's only fair to share. You can have her again tomorrow."

"What am I? Property?" I retorted.

Bridget snapped out of the by-Edward-induced haze. On the other end of the room I could hear Shady mumble "Fruitcake."

Edward ignored my comment and pushed me with his hand on the small of my back out of the door, into the rain. We were on our way to the cafeteria.

"Have you decided that by the end of lunch you will be bored with me?" He seemed awfully willing to hand me to Bridget tomorrow.

"I won't be in school tomorrow."

_Don't leave me, _I thought in reflex. I furrowed my brow at the realisation of my irrationality. I guess what happened in West Virginia had influenced me more than I was conscious of.

"How come?"

"Tomorrow will be a sunny day."

I looked up only to have raindrops collide with my eyes. I snorted. "Even I could have come up with a better excuse than that."

We entered the cafeteria. Edward stopped to look at me. I could see a mental debate going on within his head.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm wondering I should t–" and then he snorted and shook with quiet laughter.

I raised my eyebrows. _They should hand out manuals with this guy._

"Lauren was thinking about you," he explained. "You were quite the entertainer yesterday weren't you? 'I _love_ the taste of blood, grrr?'" He disentangled the smile from his face. "You really should try controlling yourself better."

"Unlike you I don't have decades of experience. Plus I had pack around me, not humans." He nodded in genuine understanding.

I waited_… Where was the teasing challenging remark after the last sentence I uttered? Was he aware that it was a sensitive subject? _

Edward pulled a chair back from a vacant table near the windows at the south of the cafeteria, and gestured me to sit. "I'll be right back."

He made his way to the cafeteria counter and loaded his tray with pizza, a large ham sandwich, orange juice, and a coke. He paid and made his way back to me after receiving some flirtatious looks from the lunch-lady.

He sat down opposite me. I felt the stares of a high school worth of students. "Take whatever you want," he said, pushing the tray toward me. I looked at him intently. There was something wrong with this picture, though I couldn't put my finger on it.

"It's okay. I brought myself a cheese sandwich – on your sister's request." I winked at him.

"I appreciate it too. Though the blood on your stake was cold and not even human, it doesn't help suppressing some unwanted instincts." I nodded.

And then it hit me, I knew what was off.

"Edward!" I exclaimed silent enough not for humans to hear. "You're not breathing!" He got his way; I was gaping at him.

A smile played around the edge of his lips. "Enough to talk to you. You cause my nose to irritate."

"Oh, well, just so you know, if you _do_ breathe, you become more desensitized after a while." I offered. I looked around, we were still subjected to frequent stares. I shifted uneasily and took a bite from the ham sandwich Edward had offered me and chased it with some orange juice.

"They can't hear us right? I'm not so comfortable discussing these things in front of humans."

"If Darwin was right you still have a few million years before they'll be able to."

I looked at his family. I bet they could still hear us. I lowered the volume of my voice to its minimum. "Can your family hear my thoughts?"

He let out his remaining breath, glad that I had touched the subject. He replied with my volume. "No, like I said, hearing thoughts is my gift. In their human lives they didn't have a disposition for guessing what people were thinking."

I turned my gaze back to Edward. He was so beautiful. I remembered the soothing temperature of his skin, I wondered if it still felt that way. Edward looked at me, lost in thought as well. His expression altered slightly, I felt drawn to him, longing to touch him. Was he feeling the same way?

I disentangled myself from thoughts; I was hungry for more information. "Do the rest of your family have gifts too?"

He thought for a second. "Every vampire has one, some more special than others." His voice was barely a whisper to match mine. The small currents he was making in the air with his lips, tongue and breath was drawing me in.

I mentally slapped myself, _pay attention Vivian_.

"Alice, my sister with the short black hair, and Jasper the tall blond haired, have very interesting gifts. Alice is able to see visions of the future. It's not rock solid; if someone would decide to change his path, then the future would shift. She sees what will happen while people are on the course they are on. Things like the weather are more predictable, therefore I'm positive it will be a sunny day tomorrow. She told me so."

I was stunned to say the least. He changed subjects to his brother.

"Jasper was very empathic in his human life, now he is able to influence peoples' feelings and emotions. He could make a roaring crowd sedated, and a depressed individual euphoric."

"Wow," was all I could say. "What about the other two?"

"You can guess what Emmet's and Rosalie's are."

_How would I know?_ "Creating fire and manipulating the weather?"

He laughed. "Emmet's gift is his strength, and Rosalie's gift is her beauty."

_Hmm, I should have guessed that_. Even among other wolves, it is rare to see someone so strong or with that beauty."What about your father?" I said and ate some more.

"My father, Carlisle's gift is his control. He is a doctor at the hospital here. Because of it he can work with bleeding humans without torturing himself too much. My mother, Esmé's gift is her ability to love."

"Our mothers share the same name, and with that I have introduced my whole family." I took a swig of orange juice hiding what ever emotion might be displayed on my face. My eyes searched his, _why didn't he look surprised?_ He must know loups-garous live in packs.

I had only mentioned the fire to Taylor. Edward wasn't into socialising, he couldn't have spoken with him. "Wait, you've peeped into Taylor's mind?"

He looked like a naughty boy caught red-handed. "I saw you through his mind. You seemed pretty upset, I figured I'd leave the subject for you to talk about when you wanted to."

I felt cheated, I didn't know he saw me at a more emotional moment, though that feeling was stirred by new confusion.

"Can you see through the minds of others? When you are within my head I can only hear your thoughts."

"I guess it takes years of practice." His eyes danced, he was enjoying the idea that he could at least do something I couldn't when we were attuned.

"Isn't your mind overflowing with thoughts while being in a crowded school? A thousand Edward's in my head would definitely throw me off."

"I mute it to a lower volume. It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum – a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's… 'voice' is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." He paused. "When in a conversation I prefer to not listen at all, it allows me to be more _normal_," he frowned at the word. "So that I don't answer someone's thoughts, as oppose to their words."

I felt compassion towards him. "I thought I had a difficult time trying to fit in, seems like you got it a whole lot worse." His topaz eyes showed understanding, his features thoughtful.

Our abnormalities excluded us from the human race, though that same deviance bound us together. We shared something humans could never comprehend. The alluring vibe I felt before reappeared.

I longed to touch him. I leaned forward, he mirrored the movement. He elevated his hand slowly, reaching for me. His fingertips touched at the corner of my lips making a gentle path to my temple, allowing the heat of my cheek to be transferred to his cool palm. It felt so wonderful; I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

A few seconds passed until the school's buzzer rang. I opened my eyes, he lowered his hand. His expression was warm and mystified.


	7. Different Worlds

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I longed to touch him. I leaned forward, he mirrored the movement. He elevated his hand slowly, reaching for me. His fingertips touched at the corner of my lips making a gentle path to my temple, allowing the heat of my cheek to be transferred to his cool palm. It felt so wonderful; I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

A few seconds passed until the school's buzzer rang. I opened my eyes, he lowered his hand. His expression was warm and mystified.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 7 – Different Worlds

"Do you have English now?" he asked. I nodded, grounded once again. "I'll walk you there."

"Alright," I smiled. I took a large bite from the untouched pizza, finished the orange juice, and dumped the remainder in the bin. Edward took my hand trying to be casual. No objection here, I savoured his touch.

From the north-east side of the room I saw Edward's family stare at us; Emmet and Jasper were incredulous, Rosalie glared, Alice on the other hand, was smiling. I wondered if she had seen this coming.

We made our way to the cafeteria door, where Bridget was waiting for Angela. She gave me two thumbs up and grinned crazily.

Our journey to my English classroom was a short one. We stopped outside the door. "I'll see you later Vivian," his voice was like melting honey.

I stifled the daze, _no physical ogling_, I reminded myself. I leaned in, but didn't let our bodies touch, and said in an equally seductive tone "See you later Edward."

He was slightly taken aback but definitely amused by the situation. He gave me a half-grin and briskly walked off. I know I could only fool him so much, my heartbeat gave me away; his body didn't lend me the same courtesy.

Once I entered the classroom, I took my seat next to Taylor again. He raised one eyebrow. "Hey Vivian. So, what's up with you and Edward?"

I was eighty percent sure that Edward would be listening. I wondered if I could tell Edward through Taylor to butt the hell out. However, that would be kind of conspicuous. I had to say _something _to Edward, I would end up all paranoid if I felt I was being watched 24/7.

Edward told me hearing of thoughts to him was similar to a hall full of people; I wondered if I would make my thoughts loud enough, he would hear me over the others.

_Edward! _

Nothing.

_Edward!_

_EDWARD, LISTEN TO ME!!!_

"_Woman, are you trying to give me a headache?" _

A smile pulled at my lips. _Can I ask you a favour?_

"_Depends__,"_ not wanting to agree to an unconditional favour.

_Could you __please not watch me through others or listen to their thoughts about me?_ There was no reply. _Edward? _He must have tuned me out again, whatever his answer was going to be, I doubted it would be an honest one.

_At last. __"Vivian, you must realise that I've been through high school several times now. There is little interest for me here. You, on the other hand, are something worth watching. However, I can understand the idea of being watched isn't exactly a comfortable one, and I'd like you to be. Therefore… I'll try not to."_

_Hmm, 'try'__… I'm not sure if I'm too happy with that word. _

"_It's the best you're going to get."_ He was probably right.

_Alright then, but put some effort in that trying of yours. Now, i__f you don't mind I have a disturbed child named Jane Eyre to attend to. _

"_Which reminds me, don't forget Taylor; he's still waiting for an answer."_

_About what?_

"_About me. Enjoy your head in solitude." _He was gone.

My nails were about to lengthen when I consciously repressed the impulse. I was positive that his 'trying' was not going to cut it right now.

On one hand I'd like to dismiss Edward to Taylor – which Edward would unquestionably hear – just for him being aggravating. On the other hand I didn't want to edge Taylor on by following me around like I was mother duck. I decided to keep it neutral.

"Edward just felt like a chat. Men are vague." I left it at that. It was one of those clichés people don't question, like 'God works in mysterious ways' or 'Everything to keep the misses happy'. Taylor consented to my answer.

A moment passed before he _tried_ to inconspicuously scoot closer to me. What a failed attempt, even if I was human it wouldn't have gone unnoticed. His chair reminded me of an old wooden door that has never been oiled at the joint.

I heard his heart thumping faster after one final crack, excess blood crept to the surface of his cheeks. His reaction caused me to feel a longing to hunt something. It wasn't specifically increased blood-flow that triggered it. It was the difference in rank in the food chain; the steady stance of the predator and the nervous fear of the prey. Who ever assumed humans were on top?

Mr. Mason covered the first three chapters of _Jane Eyre_ with us in detail. It proved to be a more compelling story than I initially assumed. Jane had lost both parents and uncle. She was lonely for she was not accepted by the world; she didn't fit in. I felt sympathy towards the young character, her world sounded oddly similar to that of my own. _Thank god I have my mom, and Edward to relate to._ The irrational part in me hoped the fictional character would find happiness further on in the novel.

When class was over, Taylor gallantly rose to escort me once again to my Art class. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see Edward leaning at the door of Mr. Mason's class. He was about to 'sneeze' when I raised my hand signalling him to stop.

I turned to Taylor. I had to be direct to un-mother-duck myself. "Taylor, you've been very kind to me. Thank you for that, but I think from now on I will manage to get to classes by myself." He frowned at me and didn't seem like he was about to answer. "Bye Taylor." I said and turned to go meet Edward.

The image was marvellous. Students, all dressed in dark shades were filing past him. Edward created a lightened centre, his torso was veiled in the white sleeveless shirt; visible skin was marble white. There was commotion, chatter. _He_ stood steady, bright, in the centre of it all, watching me.

I walked up to him. He reached for my hand more easily this time; it was still cool.

"Shady was right." Taylor mumbled silently as we started walking to the Art classroom.

I didn't feel like asking how he knew what lesson I had now. It wasn't hard to guess how he knew, but ignorance is bliss, however slight the ignorance might be. I glanced at Edward, he was lost in thought. I wondered what he was thinking about: tomorrow – when he wouldn't be here due to good weather, me, or perhaps his family who didn't seem too happy at the end of lunch.

"Your family members are not biologically related, are they?" I asked him.

"No, we are all 'adopted' so to speak. It all started with my father, but let's not go into details now." He smiled at me. "We pretend that Jasper and Rosalie are biological siblings though. It creates a more socially accepted explanation why Emmet and Rosalie are a couple, and so are Jasper and Alice."

"That's a lot of love," I mused. "Do all vampires live that way?"

"No, what we do is extremely rare. There is only one other family like us in Alaska."

We reached the Art building. He stopped to look at me. "There are not many vampires in this world. But do understand Vivian, if you were ever to encounter one, make sure you aren't alone. To them you will be their enemy and consider them yours." His expression was grave.

"I can take care of myself." I said to reassure him and inform him I'm not an easy wolf to mess with.

"No Vivian, you have to assume the worst when you deal with the worst. Plus, you never know what their gift is. If they can, they will use it against you."

_I guess I__ should take advice from the expert. _"Ok, I got it."

His remaining breath escaped his lips. He frowned at the thought of having to breathe in again in order to talk.

"Don't be such a wuss, it's not _that_ bad."

He laughed. "Whatever Vivian, see you later." My fingers left his now almost warm ones; all five of mine somewhat sad at having lost their partner.

I entered the room to be welcomed with the holler "Class, I'm not in the mood for chit-chat! Get moving!" I smelt a faint trace of blood coming from her. I wasn't surprised about the change in attitude.

I assembled all my utensils and got to work. Yesterday I had created the outlines of a forest scene; tall trees half covered by green moss and high grass amongst the bushes.

Today I was planning to patch up the textures and add some detail by painting individual leaves. Tomorrow I would do a dark wash over the whole canvas to suggest night time. On top of that I'd use lighter shades to convey the moonlight and let it hit specific places amongst the forest floor. Eventually, I would let vibrant colours such as blues and reds intertwine between the greens and browns to portray life.

I flirted with the idea of painting myself in wolf-skin amidst the scene. Yet, I couldn't picture myself there. What would I be doing? Hunting, running, or sleeping lazily? I figured that in time I would know what the subject of the painting would be doing in the forest.

After fifty minutes I performed the ritual of cleaning brushes, putting away paint, and moving my painting back into the small storage room. My eyes fell on my classmates' work; the tawny haired girl painted in a few of their works was… not human. Each girl had either a pair of butterfly, or swan wings, or a fishtail instead of legs. They couldn't place me in their ordinary world. Confusion filled me for I couldn't decide if this should amuse or scare me. I decided it was benign and chose for a wary amusement.

Just outside the door I saw Edward waiting still glorious as ever, _I could get used to this_. I was still living the after shock of seeing the paintings when I reached him. "Did you know they're painting me as fairies and mermaids?"

No emotion crossed his face, his features carefully remained the way they were. "Really?"

"You know you're not that good of a liar as u think you are." He looked extra innocent. "You'd tell me if their thoughts get too close to discovering the truth right?"

"Off course," dropping his pretences. I felt reassured, it was good to have someone knowing and protecting my secret with me.

Our hands found each others again. His bronze hair bristled on our way to Gym. "What class do you have now?" I asked.

"Computer Technologies."

"That's very modern of you."

"The class changes, each time there is something new. It's refreshing once in a while. I take it at higher level." He was the picture of ease.

We exchanged goodbyes before I entered the changing room. Angela and especially Bridget wanted to know what wickedness I used in order to get Edward talking. Bridget questioned if I had drugged his food which made me laugh. I fed them innocent little replies.

Gym was a drag, the usual pretending to be weak like the other girls. Apparently the teacher had worked us rather hard because they were all sweating heavily. Some of the boys smelled lovely, wet with transpiration. It tickled my senses. Afterwards, in order not to stand out, I took a shower like everybody else, at the speed of everybody else. The water that usually relaxed me had an opposite effect – it frustrated me. I would have liked to see Edward one final time before not getting to see him for so long.

When I entered the parking lot I saw that a silver Volvo was missing. Edward had driven his family home already.

* * *

I was sitting with my bare feet in the sand, letting the little crystals glide between my toes. The sun was caressing my skin making me feel warm on the inside as well as out. The sea was breathtaking and the seagulls were keeping me company. The waves and wind were singing a symphony for me alone. 

I looked out in the distance. I spotted a white speck on the horizon. I gazed at it trying to identify what kind of boat it was. To my surprise, the speck was increasing in size rapidly. I realised it was racing towards me. The sun's golden rays were turning orange. Then it hit me; it wasn't a boat, it was Edward, running on water. The rays changed to a burgundy red, reflecting its colour on me and my surroundings.

Edward was accompanied by large waves created by his speed. He came to a stop right in front of me. His eyes, like the sun were rubies instead of their usual topaz. A vibrant red tear rolled from each eye, staining the flawless white skin. Others might have found the image horrifying, scary even. Though the emotion on his face was so sincere, so pure; he was filled with sorrow.

I wanted to hold him, I wanted to tell him I would make it better. I tensed the muscle in my arm to lift it, but it would go no further. Edward shook his head.

"I'm a monster."

I felt consciousness creep in but I refused to open my eyes. I wanted to maintain the bloodstained angel. My effort was in vain. Defeated I opened my eyes to see my now dark room. The only visible light came from the moon through my balcony window. My alarm-clock showed '23:12'. I stretched the last residue of sleepiness away from my pre-run nap.

I went downstairs in the baggy t-shirt I had chosen to sleep in. My mind was still with Edward within my dream.

Esmé was watching television with a bowl of popcorn. She looked comfortable. She was dressed in homey clothes, her medium-long blond hair was tousled. "Hi mom."

"Hey, honey." I turned to the kitchen to drink a glass of water and returned to the living room.

"I'm going for a run, want to join?"

She didn't look up. She was completely absorbed by the man and woman on the television screen. "No thanks babe, nothing can tear me away from this sappy movie. Have fun." She threw another handful of popcorn in her mouth. I left through the backdoor and approached the woods at an easy pace, drawing out the pleasure that was about to follow.

Earlier this afternoon when I came home, I was dying to go on a run. I wanted to celebrate the feelings Edward had stirred in me. Though, running at night with a nearing full moon would be exponentially better. Therefore I had decided to take a pre-run nap instead.

I threw off the shirt and underwear near a moss-covered tree and let my body become one with the night. My spine lengthened, and my auburn pelt sprouted. My limbs rearranged themselves with the sweet crunch of bones. My extended jaw now held a moist nose with which I took in as much night as I could. I felt invigorated, I felt alive. I darted through the forest. I jumped over high branches and licked my lips at the smell of wildlife.

After a stretch of time I was deep in the forest. I spotted a small circular opening within the canopy. It created a round patch of moonlight on the forrest floor. I was enchanted and entered it, rotated once to test the ground. I lay down with my muzzle on my paws and closed my eyes.

For several moments I was at peace. Until…

"_Vivian, can you hear me?"_ an anxious muted voice sounded.

My eyes shot open. _Edward? Yes, but you sound distant._ I replied mentally.

"_Thank god. Vivian, I can't believe I'm telling you this but – ARGH._" He snarled, a curse followed. "_I'm afraid your Biology class is going to smell much nicer in the future, if you won't manage to reach me in time. I'm being chased by three werewolves."_ Edward sounded furious. "_If you weren't my last resort I wouldn't be asking you this. Help me… please."_

Completely startled but determined I stood up. _I'm on my way, where are you?_

"_Deep in the forest, there are no landmarks here." Another loud growl filled my head._

_But how will I find you?_

"_Find a way. Find it fast."_

* * *

A/N: Grrr! 


	8. I Will Find You

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Completely startled but determined I stood up. _I'm on my way, where are you?_

"_Deep in the forest, there are no landmarks here." Another loud growl filled my head._

_But how will I find you?_

"_Find a way. Find it fast."_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 8 – I Will Find You

_How can I? How?_ I had so little time. I hoped for luck and started running in the random direction my nose was pointing. I avoided the trees and flashed forward, galloping over the bushes. All my attention was focused on Edward's erratic thoughts. _"You might have four legs, but I am faster… GRAGH! Bite me again and I'll rip those teeth out one by one…" _

Occasionally the voice would increase in volume, in those moments hope would fill every cell of me, but more often than not the volume diminished. Time kept slipping and Edward was growing desperate. "_Three to one, filthy dogs! I can't believe they're herding me. Soon I won't be able to dodge them. Vivian where are you?"_

_I can't… find you._ I changed my direction when the thoughts were getting softer once more. Edward's silent thoughts were getting feverish. I changed direction again. I was only receiving shards of words now. I hunted the woods for his voice, it was hopeless for Edward was also sprinting off in different directions trying to dodge attacks. _I'm getting NOWHERE!_

I didn't grasp the extent of that truth until I felt the moon on my back. I had returned to the circle of moonlight amidst the thick canopy. I could no longer hear Edward in the realms of my mind. Despair took over, w_as he too far away or dead? Was he unconscious? Can vampires even be unconscious?_

I threw my head back and howled with despair._ Dear Moon Goddess, I need you. Moon, Moon, help me. You lost your love amongst these woods._ I looked to the ground, the image of the forest god, the Great Wolf filled my mind. Again I cried, _I can't call Edward my love, but I want to lay my kill at his feet. I NEED to fight with him. Moon, Dear Moon, where is he? _I howled from the core of my being, a longing so clear, so deep.

Something happened, something changed; a feeling like I was on top of the highest mountain. No, on top of twenty Eiffel Towers placed on the highest mountain. The moon was within my reach, palpable. I looked at the near perfect orb in adoration. A cold energy hit my muzzle. It crossed my skull, moved over my spine till the tip of my tail. I staggered. Powerful white light filled me, pumped through my veins, festered in my bones.

It was not physical strength that I felt, it was an awareness. I was _aware _that there was a white stripe of fur traveling over my muzzle and back, aware of my house a few miles south, aware of the trees around me. Though… not all trees, not all grass. I could only sense the highest leaves, only the roof of my house, only sense the top image of myself. _The moonlight…_

I heard Edward yell in my mind though it was hardly audible, _"Vivian, if you can hear me, thank you for trying."_

_Edward get into the moonlight! _I mentally roared.

A second later I sensed bronze wild hair amongst the canopy a couple of miles west; it wasn't too late yet. I turned and launched myself at the forest, using the full extend of my wolf-speed. I was hitting nothing but air, feeling nothing but determination to reach Edward in time. Three more miles; the distance was closing rapidly between his untamed hair and my white streaked fur.

_One more mile_. Whatever was keeping Edward company was covered by foliage for I couldn't sense it. _A few more yards_. I could finally see Edward through the green growths. He was still wearing the beige trousers and white shirt from earlier today; though the trousers were torn and had traces of blood on them. Edward was shaped in an alert stance ready to fight; he crouched, the way a lion would crouch if it was able to stand on its hind legs. His black eyes were focused in front of him. He quickly turned to me. A golden glow outlined his irises for one short moment, only to be replaced by darkness again when he faced the front once more.

"_She doesn't look like them, thank god. Glad you could make it Vivian. I'm sorry for involving you." _

He tensed his legs ready to fight, a brutal snarl ripped from his throat. I was so captured by Edward and his ferocious magnificence that I failed to notice the huge black beast lunging at him.

I used the momentum I had built to throw myself in the air, my fangs aiming for its face. The black beast's pupils dilated in surprise, but managed to evade my attack. He fell back and regrouped with two other beasts that were emerging from the trees; one was a deep grey, the other brown.

For the first time I had an opportunity to take the beasts in. Edward was right; they didn't look like me. I was lithe and feline, only moderately larger than the average wolf. However, the beings gazing at me were big and muscled. Grisly bears only in the shape of wolves.

As if an unspoken order was directed, the grey and brown wolf arranged themselves behind the larger black wolf in a V-shape, their eyes wide.

_Edward, what are they thinking?_

"_I don't know, when they are in their wolf-form I can't hear their thoughts. It's part of their vampire killing build. I think that they can communicate to each other in this shape, but I'm not sure how."_

_Was there a particular reason why they were chasing you?_

"_No, they're not supposed to. Our family has a peace agreement with the Quileutes."_

I took a step forward and changed halfway. I could still fight if I had to, but I needed a mouth to talk. I stood up. "What is this about?"

Like I zapped the wolves they all appeared to be injected with confusion, the hind two looked to their leader. The black wolf changed all the way to his human form. He was a tall, muscled man, with russet skin, in his mid thirties I assumed. His hair was black and cropped short. His face was patient and sure.

"_Ask him if they forgot about the treaty." _

_Why won't you ask him? _

"_Let me focus on his mind, he doesn't know I can read it. Plus, he doesn't trust a word I say."_

I took another step towards them, still half-changed in case they would try something funny. "Have you forgotten about the treaty?"

The leader covered his surprise well and spoke in a low rumble "No, but since your friend here has broken it, we no longer have to honor the treaty."

"_What? You hunt?"_ the mental voice asked incredulous.

_Well yes, I need to eat too._ It was possible to live on human food. But there was no thrill, and it didn't feel natural to only eat supermarket food.

Edward walked over next to me, I glanced at him. In school I failed to notice, but he could look damn intimidating himself. He spoke up "And how would I have accomplished that?"

The leader rumbled "We've found several animals slaughtered on our lands by vampires. And by entering our lands, the treaty has been broken."

I spoke up, "Edward didn't do that. That would have been my mother and I. We were not aware there were hunting boundaries."

A small tremor passed through the leader, the two wolves tensed up. _"Change to your human form. They think you're a monster, show them you're a werewolf like them."_

I did as he commanded and stretched into a naked girl. The wolves cocked their heads and looked baffled, they changed to their human forms as well. The brown wolf turned into a young man slightly lanky but still heavily muscled. The grey changed to another young man with a wide chest, he was the shortest of the three. Apart from those differences they resembled their leader with short black hair and red-brown skin. The leader was the tallest and oldest of the bunch.

"Why do you hunt?" the leader asked.

"It's part of my nature."

"Do you hunt humans?"

I was slightly offended, for if I would it would be a great sign of weakness, not to be able to control your wolf-side. "No never."

He nodded. The leader remained calm and composed, the other two seemed slightly confused by me. Probably they couldn't decide if I was an enemy for residing with Edward and killing animals, or an ally for being wolf. Underneath the shifts of expression I could detect a minute glint of lust in the boys' eyes.

"I'd like to learn more about you and your mother. My name is Sam Uley. You should come to La Push at First Beach sometime _soon_. No harm will come to you." I noted the extra emphasis on the word 'soon'.

A growl rumbled from within Edward's chest. "It's ok." I told him. _I can take care of myself_. Even though the sight of their muscle caused a shudder to run down my spine.

"_We'll talk about this later."_ He growled in my head.

"I'm Vivian. We've been wanting to meet other wolves. We'll drop by one day." I said with a formal tone, the atmosphere was still too tense for comfort.

Sam turned to Edward. "I'm deeply sorry for the misunderstanding. Edward, please forgive us. I hope the treaty still stands."

"Next time I would_ appreciate_ it if you listened to _me_ instead. Mutual trust doesn't work very well if it comes only one way," Edward sneered. He eyed the boys meaningfully. "Keep those other two on a tighter… leash. If you understand what I mean."

The two boys in question were spontaneously subjected to violent shudders rippling through them, along the shoulders down the spine. "Jared! Paul!" the leader said in an authoritative commanding voice. The lankier relaxed, the smaller one with the wide chest was shaking his head back and forth, not in defiance, but as though he was trying to concentrate. I remembered what Edward had told me at school, how anger triggered the wolf in them. "Paul," he said again. The shudders resided to a small tremor.

Sam eyed Edward. "Will do. We'll be leaving now. Goodbye Vivian, Edward." Their bodies experienced some controlled convulsions and exploded into fur. They hit the ground on all fours and left through the woods in V-formation.

I used my newly obtained sixth sense; I saw small patches of fur amongst the leaves far enough from us, not to be able to hear or see us.

A sigh tumbled from my lips. Edward took longer to relax. I didn't turn to meet him, feeling suddenly _very_ aware of the fact that I was butt-naked. "Edward, would you be so kind to lend me your shirt?" I heard him laugh for the first time in what seemed like eternity.

A second later a shirt was pushed in my right hand. I put it on and fastened the buttons. Thank the moon it was large enough to cover my front and rear. The shirt didn't smell the way I expected it to. I inhaled deeper; Edward didn't smell how I expected him to. I turned to meet him wanting to ask him about it, but what I saw stirred my rationality. The smooth white skin of this throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes.

He had gallantly diverted his eyes to the floor while I dressed. They now moved over my body in appreciation, he lingered an unnecessary moment on my legs before meeting my face. He displayed a greedy grin, then frowned, and raised his hand in a fast movement. His fingers twined with my hair.

"What's this?" A thick white lock of my hair glided between his fingers.

* * *

A/N: For a first fanfiction, what do you think so far? 


	9. Lake Crescent

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He had gallantly diverted his eyes to the floor while I dressed in his shirt. They now moved over my body in appreciation, he lingered an unnecessary moment on my legs before meeting my face. He displayed a greedy grin, then frowned, and raised his hand in a fast movement. His fingers twined with my hair.

"What's this?" A thick white lock of my hair glided between his fingers.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 9 – Lake Crescent

I took the hair from his fingers to examine it myself. But because it was attached to my head, what I could see was limited.

"Do me a favor and keep your eyes at ground level." Edward opened his mouth to speak, but I placed my index finger on the smooth peach-colored creations to silence him. In one agile movement I jumped onto a high branch above me, and climbed to the top of the tree. I welcomed the last moments of moonlight; the sun would rise soon. I let my hair bathe in it, allowing me to identify what it looked like. The new sense couldn't exactly be described as 'seeing' which would involve my eyes; my sensory organs were not linked to the light. It was as if knowledge spilled into my brain, knowing… rather than observing.

My tousled hair was still the same wild tawny configuration it was before, except for a thick white lock originating from above my forehead, weaving its self to either side of my face. It didn't look all that bad, but it definitely contrasted with my natural skin and hair.

"Is this a hobby of yours? Sitting in trees?" I heard Edward say. I looked down to see him patiently looking ahead of him. I chuckled while I let myself fall on the balls of my feet behind him. He turned to face me. The intimidating stance of before was gone, his lazy smile made him look serene. After all that tension and pressure I had endured, I longed for some physical and emotional comfort, something I'd like to get from him.

As if Edward read my thoughts – which he could, but wasn't currently doing – he draped one arm around my waist, and pulled me closer. My soft curves molded well in his embrace. He used one hand to tuck a white strand of hair behind my ear. That hand then traveled over my cheek, down my neck, back to be reunited with its opposite on the small of my back. I mirrored his posture, placing my hands where he had his.

"I must thank you again Vivian." He held my gaze, his golden orbs penetrating to my soul. "You are exceptional for risking your life to save a stranger you met only two days ago."

"You don't feel like a stranger, you know what I am. That's pretty intimate to me."

"Even so, Thank you." He bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

I relished the contact, it left me hungry for more. 'Did you miss?' I wanted to say, implying that my lips were elsewhere. I changed my mind, _I've had my share of excitement these last thirty minutes._

"What happened to your hair?"

"You happened to it." He tweaked his head backwards to look at me. "Well, indirectly at least. When I was hunting for your voice in the woods, there was a moment where I couldn't hear you anymore. Despair filled me and I howled to the moon asking for help in finding you." I searched his face, _how did he take my sharing of emotions that he had induced? How did he feel about me 'howling' and other wolf traits?_

He didn't seem put off, but sincerely interested by what I had to say. So I continued, "I didn't actually expect anything to happen, but people look to god in times of need; I guess I am no different. Even so, I meant every word I said". I didn't want to go into detail of what I said, wanting to lay my kill at his feet and all.

"The Moon Goddess must have heard me. I felt a surge of energy hit me, I still feel it," I whispered the last four words. "I am now, er, able to observe –I mean sense, whatever her light touches."

"That's how you found me." He confirmed in understanding. "Does this happen to your kind often?"

"No, I don't know any wolves that have white hair either. Apart from…" I frowned. "Aunt Persia, but I thought that was due to her old age." Come to think of it, other old wolves kept their natural hair color; they never turned grey or white. Aunt Persia served as Priestess of the Moon in our pack, she performed ceremonies and rituals according to the traditions, and possessed healing powers to aid wolves after heavy battle.

I didn't feel _that_ special though, and _all _of her hair was white, I just had a lock. I could feel white energy pumping through my body allowing me to sense what moonlight touched, but that's where it ended. I didn't feel like a keeper of ancient magic. The Goddess of the Moon generously gave me what I needed to save Edward, but nothing more than was necessary. I knew this as if the blessing had come with a card and instructions.

I explained this all to Edward. He nodded and asked the occasional question while listening intently. When I finished, he was silent. His gaze was focused on something beyond me.

I hoped I wasn't too alien for his comfort. He had spent an entire vampire existence absolutely loathing werewolves, I wondered if my further attunement to the moon would renew his distaste. _He seemed ok before what just happened. But even if he would be ok with me being a werewolf, would he ever be able to appreciate the beauty of my loup-garou shape? Or would he merely 'put up' with it? I'm not sure if I could be truly happy with someone who would only enjoy half of me._

Suddenly he placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my stupor of macabre thoughts. Excitement flared in his eyes, "Can I show you something?"

I glanced at him sideways. "What did you have in mind?"

He extended his hand for me to take. "Run with me."

My interest was tickled, I took it. "Alright."

And we were off. Hand in hand we ran though the forest with Edward leading the way. I could feel he was holding back on his speed a little. I suspected that in my fur we might be equals in that area.

As we glided through the woods, the only sounds that could be heard were the steady gushes of our breath, the rustle of leaves tumbling in our wake, and the soft crunches of branches where we tread. Occasionally trees would be positioned in such a way, that in order to keep our hands linked, we had to move our bodies close together to run through the narrow opening at this high velocity. Heat and excitement coursed through me, Edward radiated ecstasy. This was true freedom; no fragility, no holding back, no secrets.

After a while he slowed down, "We're here." My nose detected a slight elevation in humidity; water must be near.

He started pushing some bushes out of the way for me. I let go of his hand and merely leapt over them – while holding down the shirt, not to give him a peepshow. He chuckled and followed my lead.

I was not prepared for what I saw; it stunned me. My eyes moved over a magnificent crested lake, in the shape of a waning moon. It was vast and stretched far. Green hills hugged the lake on either side, protecting the precious water within its embrace. The water was perfectly still, the surface smooth reflecting the hues of blue, orange, and pink found in the sky; it was the image of true beauty. A bare-chested Edward now entered that image making it almost unbearable.

"Welcome to Lake Crescent."

"Oh, Edward. It's wonderful."

"I'm glad you like it. You should see it when the sun hits it. The lake turns a brilliant blue and is very clear. It's due to the lack of nitrogen in the water, it inhibits the growth of algaes." He explained matter-of-factly.

He walked to the edge of the water and sat with his back against a tree. "Why don't you come sit with me." He patted the soft moss next to him.

_What a perfect suggestion._ I walked to him slowly, feeling absolutely at ease. Relishing the different textures beneath me; the moss and fine pebbles moving under my toes. When I sat down, he placed an arm over my shoulder and I let my head lean against his bare chest. Both of us were watching the changing sky.

"The sun is about to rise." He wasn't saying this because I was retarded or unobservant, he was merely pointing out the fact that something was about to happen.

"You said it didn't hurt you right?" worry tainted my voice.

"No, it won't. Just…" he sighed. "I hope it won't scare you off." Images of a melting Edward filled my mind, only to be replaced with an Edward with bubbling skin, one with scorched black patches wherever the sun touched, perhaps he would even turn into a bat and fly away. Without the moonlight I wondered if I could find my house by myself.

"It's nice to breathe again," he said and took an extra deep breath. "Your scent changed since you got that dashing new hairstyle." I moved down, my head in his lap; I wanted to see his face. He winked at me.

I returned a smile. "Yes, I noticed that too."

"Before your smell was – I'm sorry for the comparison, I don't mean anything by it – like a stinking dog left in the rain." I gave him a scrutinizing look. "Sorry, but now… it's quite lovely." To prove his point, he took my left wrist in both his hands and held it under his nose. He inhaled deeply causing his chest to expand. His lips lingered near my wrist, he kissed the thin flesh. A pleasant shudder ran down my spine.

"What do I smell like now?" I was very curious.

"I can't exactly compare it to anything. What comes to mind is a wild forest, moments after rain has fallen. It doesn't exactly make my mouth water, not in an edible way." He smiled reassuringly. "But it makes me wonder what you _taste_ like."

This kind of caught me of guard. "Erhm, would you like a bite?" I said trying to be polite.

He dropped my wrist like it had electrocuted him. "What?! No of course not. Don't be ridiculous."

"Would it harm me?"

He still had an uneasy expression from the imaginary shock he received. "No, our venom only harms the human body. It wouldn't have any effect on werewolves. Not that many vampires would voluntarily put their teeth in one; it wouldn't be the nicest of tastes." He looked disgusted by the mere idea. "With perhaps you as exception. I was just curious."

"Well, just so you know, you smell quite different yourself. You used to smell like ice-cream that expired a lifetime ago." He snorted, amused. "You still have a sweet scent, but without the expired quality, blended with something more masculine." It truly did smell lovely. "But I don't feel the need to put my teeth in you. I'm not even curious." _If I would though, I would choose his butt._ I laughed at the thought.

Edward smiled warily. "Here it comes," announcing the sun's arrival.

I moved my head to see the sun climbing over the hill on the opposite side of Lake Crescent. It illuminated its surroundings, making the green hills greener, the lake blue and golden by its shine. I turned to see Edward. What I saw there, was a sight I knew would never leave me.

* * *

AN: Everything said about Lake Crescent is true. I did some research for nice places in the area, and unlike "the meadow" in _Twilight, _the lake actually exists near Port Angels. And let me tell you, it is absolutely stunning. There is a map and pictures in my profile. I suggest you check it out. 


	10. Bling Bling

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Edward smiled warily. "Here it comes," announcing the sun's arrival.

I moved my head to see the sun climbing over the hill on the opposite side of Lake Crescent. It illuminated its surroundings, making the green hills greener, the lake blue and golden by its shine. I turned to see Edward. What I saw there, was a sight I knew would never leave me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 10 – Bling Bling

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. His skin literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He sat perfectly still against the tree, his scintillating body reflecting light on mine. He was a perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I was speechless. Well, almost, "This is quite... different from what I expected." He inclined his head to will me on. Instead I sat up, his watchful eyes studying my every move. I positioned my face close to his, trying to identify the hidden facets in his skin. He directed his gaze towards the sun. My fingertip traced his cheekbone, _if I would scratch some skin off, would it still sparkle under my claw?_ I had no desire to harm him, only to dwell in fascination.

_H__e is such a strange being, _for some reason that thought managed to fill me with carefree happiness. I threw myself on his lap recklessly, positioning my legs at a right-angle from his, my arm draped over his shoulders.

He looked at me questionably.

"You're weird!" I told him merrily.

He looked a bit puzzled, then cleared his face and challenged, "You can wag your tail."

"Your eyes change colour," I defied.

"Your hair changed colour," he simply said.

"You hear voices."

"_So do you,"_ he mentally taunted.

I jetted my face to his and snapped my teeth in a mock-bite. He laughed heartily causing me to jiggle alongside the tremors, which soon resided into a chuckle. His butterscotch eyes matched his skin by a pleasant gleam, luring me in. I stared at them trying to uncover the depths of him.

"You're beautiful," he said.

"You're not so bad yourself," I purred.

"You should see my picture in the attic." The gleam dulled.

A short moment passed. "Oscar Wilde?" **(1.)**

He nodded appreciatively, not expecting me to have read the novel, but grimaced while doing so.

I understood the seriousness of the topic, though I didn't want him to feel bad. Instead I shuffled on his lap a bit, showing him I was comfortable for a long wait. "Let's hear it." I smiled encouragingly.

**(AN: ****For those who don't want to reread Edward's history skip to the - - - - - - )**

He nodded, took a deep breath, and started from the very beginning. He told me how Carlisle, his father was born in the 1640's and soon thereafter was attacked by a vampire who didn't drain enough of his blood to kill him. Carlisle became a vampire after three painful days when the venom had run its course. Being a young vampire, he was ravenous for human blood. Only because of his gift, his control, and a naturally good heart, he refused to attack humans and forced himself to feed on animals instead.

He had travelled the world alone for over a century, studying. He had decided to become a doctor, to use his vampire traits to save lives, instead of taking them.

When the Spanish Influenza hit in 1918, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act – since he couldn't find a companion that shared his views, he would create one. Though he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he had found Edward.

Edward's family had died of the disease. Only he and his mother were left, still suffering from it. With his mother's dying breath, she had pleaded Carlisle to save the terminally sick Edward in a way only he could.

"He decided to try…" Edward's voice was barely a whisper now, trailed off. He stared unseeingly at the still water. I wondered which images filled his mind now, Carlisle's memories or his own.

"I have almost always stayed with him."

For the first time I interrupted, "Almost?"

He sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence – about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own.

"From the time of my new birth, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle – I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl – if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible. But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and his new wife Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

**- - - - - -**

I felt sorry for him. It must have been a very confusing and lonely time. He shifted to the side to look into my eyes. "What are you thinking?"

I squinted. "Why are you asking? You can find out whenever you want."

"I'm not sure I _really_ want to know."

"I was thinking it was understandable. You must have felt… lost. Whenever you talk about being a vampire you always seem so sad. Are you not grateful for Carlisle's decision? Or for your immortality?"

"Would I rather have died of the Spanish Influenza in a Chicago hospital? Then no." I diverted my eyes; his expression was full of melancholy. The whole sad-angel thing playing on his face kept me from focusing on what was being said; it didn't look right. He placed one hand on my cheek like he had in lunch the previous day, and forced me to look at him.

"But understand," he began. "You mortals have purpose, have a meaning for living. You are born, you grow, learn, have families, and eventually die. I don't have any of that. I exist now, like I have existed decades ago, and will be doing centuries to come. I see the whole world around me change, yet I remain the same. I've been through med school twice, keeping Carlisle up-to-date with the latest techniques. But I'll _always_ be, or appear to be, too young to actually practice it. Once I've been labelled twenty-five, people get suspicious." He smiled, though his other features were unaffected by it. "In eight years time we will move to a different town again, and I will roll into high school… again."

The sun had moved up in the heavens, trees were blocking its light. Birds could be heard in the distance. I sat up and moved my hands through his hair. His topaz orbs were radiating a painful sorrow. I inhaled his captivating scent, our breath mixed in the air. I wanted to connect with him, share what he was going through. I wanted to make him feel better, show him I understood. I wanted to touch him, feel more of him. I leaned in closer. "I'll keep you company for a couple of decades, if you let me."

He smiled. "That would be something worth existing for." He moved the remaining distance, letting his lips descend on mine.

They were cool and smooth, mine were tantalized by the sensation. I breathed in his heady scent causing the kiss to reach an entirely different level. Our lips parted, we were both eager to deepen. A swift pang went through me, it felt so right. We tasted each other thoroughly, with a passion I didn't expect, mending every ailment. This was more than just a kiss; this was a gift to one another, a symbol of our mutual acceptance of what we were.

After a few long moments we broke away, I felt alive. He seemed exhilarated; there was not even a trace of the previous melancholy. I pushed my limbs in opposite directions, stretching as far as I could in his lap, relishing the elongation of muscle. I wanted to run with him again, celebrate him and the feelings he stirred.

"What time do you think it is?" I asked.

He looked into the sky. "A quarter past seven, give or take two minutes."

_He is such a rare find_ I thought. "I'd better get home. All non-disco-balls, meaning me, should be getting ready for school." He gracefully snorted. "Plus my mom might have some questions as to what happened to me." I moved my eyes upward, implying the white strands of hair. "I have to tell her about Sam Uley, bet she'd love to meet him and his posse."

Edward's expression fell. "Vivian, I know you can take care of yourself, but be careful with that scum. I won't be able to come with you to meet them. It could be dangerous. And… I'm pretty sure they'll tell you anything to keep you away from me." He looked at me meaningfully. "You'd make me a very happy disco-ball if you wouldn't go."

I shifted uneasily. I wouldn't want to dishonour the trust we are building here by fraternising with the enemy. But a pack would be good for my mother, and to be honest, I wouldn't mind being around wolves every now and then myself. But if it would come down to choosing sides, I would pick Edward.

"Even if, I don't think I have a choice. Sam seemed pretty forceful about my mom and me coming to meet him. If we wouldn't go, he'd probably come and find us instead. At least this way we'll be prepared. My mother is lonely too. She used to be Queen Wolf, all she has now, is me."

He thought for a second, he wasn't too pleased. "I suppose you're right." Something flashed over his face, but it was too swift for me to catch. He straightened his spine and bowed deeply. He cocked his head upwards, eying me through his lashes. "I pray thee for thine pardon milady, for my humblest heart, ere was unaware, to have doted upon royalty…"

He took my hand and kissed the top. He then moved down to my fingers and before he teasingly bit the tip of my index he added "Princess."

The girl and wolf in me were having a mental competition who could purr the loudest. "Oh no you di-int!" I scorned. I pushed him back and while he stumbled, I crouched and leapt on top of him. Once we hit the ground, he took my wrists and rolled to position himself on top of me. On the soft moss we shared our second beautiful kiss.

"What time is it now?" _I should really be getting back. _

He looked at the position of the sun again, reflecting the light in all directions. "Half eight, give or take t-"

"Two minutes, got it. Could you help me get home? I usually never run this far."

"My pleasure."

We weaved through the woods not unlike last time. Soon trees and smells became more familiar and I knew we were nearing home. Once we reached my house I could see my mom in the kitchen. Already dressed in her Herman's apron rummaging around in the cupboards, no doubt she was hunting for a granola bar.

Edward complimented the house on its isolated location – probably because the house itself wasn't compliment worthy; small, and moderately old. _Whatever, I like it just fine_.

"Pfff, wish me luck," I grumbled, already dreading how I was going to explain Edward and the other wolves to my mum _and_ go through the approaching school-day.

He wiped my hair to the side and brushed a kiss on my neck. "Good luck," he murmured.

"What are you going to do today?" I asked.

"First go home and clean up." He gestured towards his torn and slightly blood tainted trousers.

"You must heal pretty fast," I blurted. "There was no wound when I saw you."

He shrugged. "It usually doesn't take long, depends how severe the wound is. Their bite wasn't deep." He scanned me over. "I suggest you keep the shirt. It will serve as a good conversation starter, plus you look fascinating in my clothes, and it doesn't smell of the old you _au contraire _to this…" he pointed up with one finger, "parachute."

Before looking up, I knew he was referring to the baggy shirt I had worn for my pre-run nap. He jumped up to retrieve it from the tree. _Dear moon, my underwear must be somewhere near._

He handed me the shirt with obvious mock in his expression. I rolled my eyes, gave him a kiss on the lips, and turned to take my first step of the green mile to the front door. "See you Edward."

"Until later Vivian."

* * *

**1.**_**The Picture of Dorian Gray**_** by Oscar Wilde is a classic horror fiction where a beautiful young man had his 'soul' captured in a painting. The young man stayed young forever while the man in the painting aged. With every vile act the man committed, the painting became more gruesome, reflecting the ugliness of his ****soul. The man stored this painting in the attic.**

* * *

**AN: Please review. **


	11. Tiny Teeth

AN: Thank you so much for the reviews :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He handed me the shirt with obvious mock in his expression. I rolled my eyes, gave him a kiss on the lips, and turned to take my first step of the green mile to the front door. "See you Edward."

"Until later Vivian."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 11 – Tiny Teeth

I took the house key from under the ceramic duck that was keeping the wooden front door company. As I pushed the door open, a gush of wind rustled my hair.

"Who is there?" my mom growled, apparent offence in her tone.

"It's me mom, Viv."

A befuddled head popped around the corner, seemingly floating out of the wall. "Huh?" A body now walked underneath the head. While tasting the air she ambled towards me.

"Well, I was wondering if we could have…" I was distracted by my mum's tongue that was rolling over my left arm. "If we could have…" She now raised it to sniff my armpit, frowned, then sniffed the shirt. She threw the air out of her while tossing her head with a loud 'Puh!' and rubbed her nose with her forearm. "Erhm, if we could have a chat before I go to school?"

Her hands were on her hips, trying to make something out of me, taking in my face for the first time. Her pupils dilated and she reached for my hair – the way a monkey might want to touch something colourful and moving. She grabbed at the white cluster of hair and gave it a tug.

"Mom!"

"Well excuse _me_ miss, you come in here smelling all weird. Never mind that _shirt_! I don't know what happened to you but you must have been pretty desperate to put that thing on. And now you have _white_ hair on your head?! How in Moon's name did –"

"Sit down," I interjected. "I'll explain everything if you give me a chance to talk."

After some grumbles we sat on the brown living-room sofa. She angled herself to look at me, cueing me to commence. "Ok, I'll start from the beginning. I'll try to keep it simple. I, well…" _Whatever, lets just get it out_. "The shirt is Edward's, I met him at school. The reason you think it stinks-"

"No thinking needs to be involved, it plainly reeks."

"The reason is," I continued. "because he is a vampire."

Her once demanding gaze filled with terror. A moment passed and her features softened. "Oh Viv," she took my hand in hers. "Oh sweetie, I really thought you were doing better in Forks. Everyday I question if we shouldn't have stayed with the pack. I keep thinking 'What if… what if we wouldn't have left.' I'm sorry for having taken you from where you belong. I honestly thought it was the best thing to do, I thought you wanted this."

"Mom, what are you talking about?" This concern was irrational.

"Well, you're obviously insane." She cooed.

_One long day. I feel__ it. This is going to be one hell of a long day._ It took a while to convince her that I wasn't out of it and that indeed, Edward was a vampire. Though, if handed with a bit of counterevidence she would discard the idea that vampires walked this earth easily. I told her about Sam and his two followers. I passed all of Edward's knowledge about the Quileutes on to Esmé. I imagined her ears turn in my direction, and her interest flew out of proportions.

"So, there are no other bitches?" she sniggered, eyes glinting.

"Well, they usually breed with humans."

"I wouldn't have minded _some_ competition. Oh, Viv this will be so much fun! We're the only two females! Let's see how jealous we can make them." An evil grin spread across her face.

"Well, I'm kind of sold on Edward. Mom, try to behave as much as u can, remember what I told you about their anger. He said they were dangerous."

She rolled her eyes. "Relax, it will happen either way because I am a piece of tail," she stated. "And if Edward really is what you say he is, then I forbid you to see that boy. It's unnatural and gross." She eyed the shirt like it was vermin. "Don't date if you can't mate."

* * *

The warm sunlight shone through the bathroom window and caressed my bare skin. But its warmth was lost, spoilt, in the scolding torrents that danced on my body. The hot streams burned away the thoughts of my mother; _what if she did get the wolves jealous and she would be the centre of a bestial brawl?_ The water scalded away her disapproval of Edward, and soaked up the fear and confusion of the previous evening. Everything went down the drain, apart from the affection Edward had given me, and the white light singing in my blood.

I turned off the taps and dressed in jeans with a black tank top. I left my hair wet, the wind on my way to school would dry it for me.

When I opened the bathroom door I detected anxious whispers. My mom was on the phone. "I never would have thought that… Yes… Yes…" I descended the stairs quietly, if I was a bit closer I would be able to make out what the murmurs through the phone were telling my mom. "But we can't know for sure," my mom muttered.

"I'll have to take a look at her myself," Aunt Persia replied. "I'll be over this Saturday, when the moon is full."

"Thank you so much Persia. Thank you."

"Goodbye my child, try not to worry."

My mom snorted. "Right, goodbye." And the phone found its rest in the receiver.

"What was that all about?" I asked her.

She bit her lip. "Aunt Persia is going to visit us Saturday, that's all. It has been too long don't you think?" she said in her most convincing manner.

"Okay," lingering on the final vowel.

"Just get that cute butt of yours to school. You're late. I'm late. We are both late." She shoved past me out of the door and made her way hastily to her red little car. "Have a good day hun!" And she was off.

My mother had a tendency for mood swings, or to act peculiar. That didn't bother me too much, I loved all of her. But if it was something Aunt Persia worthy, perhaps it would be wise to start worrying. I decided not to think about it too much until Saturday, on an 'innocent till proven guilty' kind of note, and pushed the matter out of my head.

I had some coco puffs, cleared yesterday's uneaten cheese sandwich out of my bag, and filled it with a fresh one; today there wouldn't be a breathtaking immortal present to offer me cafeteria food.

Alice had miraculously been right about the weather. I wondered how her visions worked, if they spontaneously came to her, or if she could search for what she needed to see. She hadn't emitted that hostile vibe, unlike her sister Rosalie, perhaps I could ask her how the meeting would go between the Quileutes and us Gandillons. It would definitely ease my mind to know the outcome beforehand. I'd have to ask her tomorrow, for Fork's High School would be vamp-free today. Darn sun, I've always preferred the moon myself, naturally.

* * *

The morning passed fairly easily. Mr. Varner had kindly requested me to 'apply a horizontal shift to my displacement versus time graph' for being late once again. But after that I could relax and borderline between consciousness and the land of dreams, where I would count the amount of sheep I chased over the hedge.

When sauntering to biology, it dawned on me that spending the night with Edward – in yet an innocent way – was taking its toll. I hadn't planned to stay out the entire night, and sleep seemed to overcome me. The class was dull without him, and the chemical changes of the Kreb's Cycle were too abstract for me to pay attention to. I rested my heavy head on my hand and let my thoughts travel. I was trying to imagine what Edward would be up to, there was so little I knew of him. I thought about Aunt Persia, would she have something special in mind for me? I decided not to speculate too much about it. I trailed off to my old life in West Virginia, not too long after, I envisioned hell's fire and my father walking into it willingly.

"Vrr."

_No dad, you can't save them any __more come back! Mom, I _will_ keep you here. You are not going in there as well._ Something jabbed me in the side.

"Vrrn waap…"

Blazed faces in the clearing, _why won't they help_?

"Vivian wake _up_." Bridget nudged me again; she seemed to be enjoying the situation. Awareness was seeping in.

"Stop poking me," I grunted.

"Now why would I do that? Look how happy you're making me." Through squinting eyes I saw her produce a wide smile. "If I'd leave you a bit longer we'd have to call the janitor to mop up your drool."

"I don't drool." But I looked to be sure.

"You were getting there. Get up, I'm hungry."

To my pleasant surprise I saw that class was over and most students were filing out. I collected myself and bag, and together we started for the cafeteria. "I like what you've done with your hair," Bridget said. "Hmm, but I think I would have gone for full highlights, not just above my forehead. But it's still nice. I assume you were still feeling spontaneous when you came home?"

"Eh, yeah. I saw a rock star with the same do, thought it would be cool." I figured that that would be a human enough explanation.

"Really? I must have missed something. Who was it?"

_I talk too __much._ "Don't know, somebody Dutch."

"Oh." We sat down with the other humans at our usual table. "You know what I found out yesterday?"

I eyed her warily. Could she know or was I just paranoid? What if one day she would find out I was loup-garou? Dutch rock stars won't always be able to cut it, maybe I shouldn't get too close to her. "What did you find out?"

"That snails have teeth. But wait there's more!" she said in a TV-add impression. "They're metal. Snails have powerful – for their size – tiny metal teeth!"

I laughed, I'm definitely paranoid. Bridget was as innocent as can be. Even _if_ snails indeed had metal teeth, she seemed gullible enough to accept any explanation, in the case of a slip of the tongue about my wolf-side.

* * *

The day seemed to pass surprisingly fast, or slow… I wasn't too aware, I drifted along until it was time to mount my Spider and creep home. I parked on the driveway. Once inside, I dumped my bag on the sofa, had some crisps in the kitchen, and made my way to my room. _Sleep, how wonderful_. I already had the nightmare, perhaps I could have something more pleasant to dream about this time. It wasn't too hard to figure out what, or to be precise, who that would be. If I was a lucky wolf I'd be moments away from meeting an imaginary Edward in my unconscious Lake Crescent. I slouched my foot over the final step of the stairs. Once in my room, I belly-flopped on my bed. A nice sketch of topaz eyes and cool white skin had been formed when…

_PRRRING_

_What the hell was that? _I reluctantly moved my head up to listen with both ears. A few lazy seconds passed before I deemed it unworthy, and decided to attempt sleep once again.

PRING PRRRING

_Wait… __is that, do we have a doorbell? Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous, _I grumbled. We had never gotten a visitor here before. Could it be old pack? Aunt Persia couldn't have crossed the state this fast, she preferred to keep all fours on the ground and didn't 'believe' in airplanes.

"I know someone's home!" a husky voice called out.

_Ain't you a smartass?_ Involuntarily I got up and walked _all_ the way downstairs again. My hand rested for a small moment on the doorknob before I turned it.

On the other side of the door was a very tall, well muscled young man. With his russet skin and black hair it wasn't too hard to guess that he was a Quileute. However, he was neither of the three I'd met in the woods yesterday night. Even though he looked older than me, there was a boyish quality to his face. He was an image easy on the eye.

It was only a bit too obvious that he thought the same way about me. He had intently scanned my body up and down _twice_ before meeting my face. I'm not sure what he saw there but his stance shifted nervously as he moved an arm up to massage his neck.

"Eh, crap."

"Sorry?"

"I'm not usually like this. It's just that, I've never seen a female before." He lowered his hand for me to shake. "Hi, I'm Jacob."


	12. Teach Me

AN: On request, I made this chapter is extra long. Hope you like it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He had intently scanned my body up and down _twice_ before meeting my face. I'm not sure what he saw there but his stance shifted nervously, as he moved an arm up to massage his neck.

"Eh, crap."

"Sorry?"

"I'm not usually like this. It's just that, I've never seen a female before." He lowered his hand for me to shake. "Hi, I'm Jacob."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 12 – Teach Me.

I shook his hand carefully. "I'm Vivian." His hand was very warm. After, he placed the hand in the pocket of his black jeans, accompanying the white T-shirt.

What was the reason for this? I looked around. I couldn't see or smell others. Did he come alone? Did he just want to check out the female wolf, drag me and my mum by the cuff to La Plush, or see if I'd be hiding any vampires in our cookie jar?

I scrutinized the looks of him. I had to admit that a small part of me was unquestionably attracted to the danger and muscle this wolf posed, though the larger part of me was filled with suspicion and distrust. So far these wolves had done nothing to be in my good graces.

Edward had supposedly stepped on their land, big deal. If I hadn't interfered they would have ganged Edward and shredded him. An image of a convulsing Paul came to mind because he'd been subjected to a simple taunt. I had to be careful. Jacob was tall and burly in his human form, I could only imagine what a powerful wolf he would make.

"How do you know where I live?" I asked him. If he tells me they'd spied on us, I'll oh-so-gently slam the door in his face.

"From Forks High School. You are registered there."

_Not good enough._ "And they hand personal information to anybody who asks?"

A mischievous grin revealed a set of brilliant white teeth. "I'm too fast for the secretary to notice." He seemed really happy about something so usual, speed. Then it dawned on me.

"You're a new werewolf," I stated.

The smirk was gone instantly. "Not _that_ new," he said indignantly. "For about two months now." I couldn't help but laugh, _he's still a pup_. His hands clenched into fists, and his head twitched as a tremor moved down his spine.

I seized laughing immediately. "I'm sorry," I blurted, and mentally slapped myself, hard. _I have to keep him calm._

He relaxed, irately rubbed his face with both hands, and looked at me with a defeated gaze. "It's really ok. My dad told me about your kind, you were a wolf from birth. This," he gestured his now relaxed body. "is one of the reasons I came here."

"What do you mean?"

"I talked with Sam, Jared, and Paul and they said they saw you half changed." He looked at me meaningfully. _What was he getting at?_

"Your control!" he exclaimed. "Not to have to restrain the desperate urge to change when angry, or to even stop halfway. I was, wondering if… you know…" he looked at me with brown puppy eyes, so dark, they appeared to be black. "if you could teach me."

_Teach him?_ I didn't know what to think of this. It felt like discussing culture with a foreigner. Nonetheless, it would be a way to create an amicable relationship between the Quileutes and Gandillons. But would I really want to be training a naked lust-crazed teenager, who was dangerous when aggravated? Throw a jealous Edward into the mix and we'd have anarchy.

"I really don't know Jacob. Changing is so natural to me, like breathing. How do you teach someone to breathe? And we're different types of wolves, I don't know if it's even possible."

"It has to be possible," he whispered. His shoulders sagged, like hope had physically drained out of his body. He was now studying a pebble that he was shuffling between his sneakers.

"We can always try," I tried to sound reassuring._ What was it with these inhuman men in Forks? Couldn't they just be _happy_ with the gifts they've been given? It better not be contagious -_ a_nd why do I have a weakness for them?_ I was slightly agitated with myself.

And he inflated again. "Thanks." He smiled at me. "I know we got off on the wrong foot and all, but we're really not that bad. I hope that bloodsucker hasn't been putting us in a bad light."

"Bloodsucker?" If he was trying to create a friendly atmosphere, he was failing miserably.

"The vampire," he clarified, like I missed the point. I rubbed my forehead with my thumb and index finger. I was exhausted and really not in the mood for this.

"Jacob, listen. Do you eat meat?"

"Er, yes. But cooked," he threw in. He must have heard I hunted.

"Doesn't that make you a 'flesh-chewer' as appose to a 'blood-sucker'? He lives on animals _just _like you. I really don't get what this feud is about."

"Yes, b-"

"_Please,_ let's not go into this. I'm dead tired." I eyed him accusingly; it was his kind that started last night's fray.

"I understand," he said coldly.

I inwardly snarled in frustration. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you are a nice guy. Edward hasn't influenced my opinion of you," I lied. "If I'm going to be guiding you with phasing, it's better if we do it Friday. It will be the day before full moon." _I'm going to need all the help I can get._

"The moon? You must be joking?" My glare was the medium through which I threw all my prickly exhaustion at him. He gulped, "Ok, Friday." He smiled weakly.

"See you at sundown." I shut the door in his gobsmacked face. Barely aware of my rudeness, I hovered to my room. I opened my balcony door to check if he left, and sank into a deep spent sleep.

* * *

I was standing on my balcony. It was twilight, a dim glow allowed me to see the narrow path that led to Forks. I was waiting for something. I wanted to listen to the sounds of the forest, to entertain myself in the mean time. But I couldn't hear a thing. I closed my eyes and focused more, and still everything was quiet. Somewhat concerned, I changed to wolf form to use my elongated ears. A harsh slimy sound could now be heard in the distance, like somebody was crushing an old banana between rocks. I opened my eyes and placed my paws on the balcony railing. I intently scanned the forest and sky, to explain the disturbing sound. 

Over the trees I could see something large and maroon approaching. The closer the object came, the louder the sound. I spotted Bridget walking down the path. No, she wasn't just walking, she was pulling what seemed to be one of the Forks High School buildings at a painstakingly slow pace towards me. She looked ghastly, glistening in the scarce light. Bridget was covered in slime.

"There she is!" she clanked, and snapped at me with metal teeth. "There, the werewolf!"

_No!_ I wanted to cry out, but yelped instead. Within the building there was commotion, and students were peering through the windows, pointing, and gaping at me.

"Yo, female!" a husky voice called. Jacob, wearing only his black jeans, ran out from the forest. He jumped on top of the High School wrecking the right side of the structure, crushing the people within. "Why don't you teach me?" He jumped on the left side. "Teach me!" wrecking more and more. He now grabbed Bridget by the ankles, and used her as a bat to pound on the remaining rubble. "Teach…" smash, "ME!" He dropped the lifeless body to the floor. Jacob then stared me dead in the eye, and slowly, very slowly cocked his head to the side. "Please?"

"Not while I walk this earth!" Edward, who spontaneously materialised, swiftly sank his teeth into Jacob's neck, and drank from his body. I watched, unable to turn away, perversely fascinated, yet horrified. Jacob soon went limp and fell to the floor, his tongue lolled out of his now pallid mouth. In one agile movement Edward was next to me on the balcony. His bronze hair, untamed, covered part of his red eyes. The blood that hung from his lips complimented the colour. He was looking at me. I dreaded what he was going to say. His lips parted, "I'm a monster."

That last image shook me awake. I sat up in my bed and took in gulps of air. "Dear moon," I breathed. I checked my alarm clock, two a.m. At least I got some sleep. The fresh air calmed me surprisingly well; there was something sweet and alluring to it. I noticed the balcony door was still open. _Could it be? _The masculine scent was definitely there.

"Edward?"

I waited, but there was no reply. "I can smell you, you know."

A smooth pale hand now pushed the balcony door open further, Edward followed. His gaze straight ahead of himself, and neatly closed the door behind him. He looked around inspecting my room. When I came into his range of view, surprise framed his face. "Who would have thought I'd run into you over here?"

"It must be destiny."

He gave me a cheeky smile. "It must be."

How wonderful it was to have Edward, here, in my room. I bit my lip at the possibilities.

I realised I was still in yesterday's clothes and didn't feel too fresh. "Could you give me a minute, I'll be right back." I shoved my feet out of bed.

"Alright princess, but one minute only."

_Should be doable. _As fast as I could, I grabbed underwear, pink pyjama-shorts and top, and ran to the bathroom. In the shower, I washed my hair, body, shaved my legs, and dried as best as I could. I brushed my teeth, and hair, and raced to my bedroom door, only to turn around again – I forgot to put on my PJs – and returned to homebase.

"How was that?" I said proudly.

He walked towards me. "Hmm, I don't know Vivian. I think you were two whole seconds late."

"Is that right?"

"I'm afraid so," he said gravely. There were only a few inches of distance between us. He leaned down and breathed, "You'll have to pay the consequences."

He started kissing me below my jaw creating a path to my ear. It was enough to drive me crazy. I had to focus hard to form a coherent sentence. "Do… you always, lurk around girls' bedrooms?"

"I'm not sure. You would be girl number one." Like a moth's wing, his lips brushed my neck. Only to be replaced by his teeth grazing the area, seeking, but not entering. A helpless sound of pleasure escaped me. He chuckled. I couldn't reply; my mind was too aware of his movements.

"I didn't intend to 'lurk'." He went to sit on the bed, breaking the spell. While he talked I remembered how to breathe again. "But I was… in the neighbourhood, when I heard you say my name. I decided to come up and say hello. When I saw you were having a nightmare, I was debating whether I should wake you up, or if being woken up by the subject of your nightmare, would only scare you more."

He gave me an uneasy smile. "Do I scare you?" His jaw tightened, but he kept his smile in place with some effort.

"No, not yet at least." I went to sit beside him. He didn't seem too reassured by my answer. I had to do better. "I'm way scarier anyways," I said in mock-boast. "Look." I held my hand in front of him. I let nails lengthen, hairs sprout, until a hybrid of claw and paw was formed. I then turned it back into my sleek hand.

"You are right. That _is_ scary."

_Had I gone too far? _

"Do you feel pain while doing that?" he asked casually, like we were discussing something trivial like the weather. I wonder if he was doing it on purpose, to soothe me.

"There is some pain, but nothing I wouldn't welcome. It's like stretching until you feel it. Does that make sense or am I too vague?"

"It makes sense."

Still a bit tired, I lied down. Edward's golden gaze was as alert as ever. "Do you… sleep?"

"No."

Figured as much. "Do you miss it?"

He thought for a moment. "Sleep allows you to process what you experience unconsciously. Humans don't usually realise that sleep is more than just letting the body regenerate. I can't say I miss it now, because I learned to exist without it - May I?" he gestured the empty space next to me. I nodded.

With a cool unbreakable arm around me he continued. "When I was a new vampire, I must say it drove me insane. The thirst was the worst thing, but the lack of sleep was a worthy second. I couldn't process what had happened to me.

"What did you dream about just now?" he asked.

"Isn't that kind of private? You'd know what I've been unconsciously processing," I teased.

An irresistible half-grin played on his face. "I could pull a Dostoyevsky on you; listen to your thoughts while telling you _not_ to think about the dream." **(1.)**

"That would be evil."

"According to many, that would define me accurately."

"Define _us_," I corrected. "I dreamt that -"

"I _was_ joking, you don't have to share."

I kissed the hand that was closest to my face. "I know." He was sweet. I knew he was dying to know why I had been twisting uncomfortably while saying his name. I took in two lungs full of air and said "Aright, Bridget was snapping at me with metal teeth, while showing the people inside school that I was a werewolf. Then Jacob came along," I felt his tense up. "and he killed Bridget, while using her to smash up the school. Then you killed Jacob and came to me." With new air I said "You were sad."

"How do you know Jacob," his voice was stern.

"He came by yesterday and- Oh moon."

"What?" He shifted and showed deep concern.

"I was really rude to him!" I said incredulous, remembering yesterday's affair. "I think I slammed the door in his face."

He pulled me close and gave me a back-cracking hug. "That's my girl!"

My stomach made a pleasant turn at his words. "Don't get excited yet, I agreed to teach him. How to control the changing and all."

He pushed me away so he could heave my face up to look at him. His joy had left as fast as it had come. _"Has she lost her mind?"_

"Why the mental thing? Believe me, it wasn't my first choice. But I couldn't very well say 'no', it was really troubling him. Plus I don't want to have a feud with them. It's better to keep it friendly." _I hope he blocked me out again, because Jacob's probably going to be naked._

His eyes turned black before he disconnected his body from mine. _"I've deluded myself, this can never work. She clearly doesn't care enough… taking up a _naked_ new dog as an apprentice! Argh! A damn century, and I pick a werew-"_

_Edward_, I thought, stretching my hand to touch him.

"_Right."_He evaded it. He sat up with his back towards me. He had blocked me physically, as well as mentally; I could no longer hear his thoughts.

_Oh no, what have__ I done?_ I didn't think Edward would be too happy with the teaching, but I didn't foresee this. I _did_ care. I _did_ want this to work. Since he came into my life, I actually felt like it was worth living again. _Oh please, don't leave me._

"Edward," I whispered. "I care, more than you know. Please don't be angry, or give up on me. I'll find a way to contact Jacob and tell him I won't teach him. Then I'll stay away from all Quileutes for as long as you decide I'm worth your company."

He remained sitting there, like a statue, not breathing, unmoving. My panic rose further, my heartbeat kicked into yet a higher gear.

"If you'd leave me because I'm a wolf, it would kill me."

He turned around and effortlessly pulled me onto his lap. The fact that his eyes had turned back to topaz gave me some hope.

"I'm sorry for that rant of thoughts, but I needed all the facts. I'm glad you care, I do too." He turned bemused. "I guess my some family members have managed to plant doubt in me. They say they would rather have me date a human. The idea…" he snorted. "I jumped to conclusions too fast. Forgive me." His face was serene and apologetic.

I kissed him fiercely and then suppressed the urge to slap him. "Don't _do_ that to me again. You really got me panicked there."

He smiled ruefully. "Yeah, I heard." He pointed at my heart.

We laid back down under the sheets. I told about my past in West Virginia; my father dying, pack imploding in fights for a leader, my mother trying in vain to organise the chaos, and how I was too much of a mess to help.

Edward was understanding, and comforting. We didn't mention Jacob anymore. After a few minutes of lying in each others arms I was halfway asleep again.

"Hey Edward?" I murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you Eddy?"

"Not if you expect me to answer."

"How about Ed?"

"Maybe in another lifetime."

He kissed my hair. I smiled and drifted to a wonderful sleep, filled with unimportant and pleasant images.

-

-

-

* * *

1. Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a Russian author, who taunted his little brother by telling him not to think of a white bear. The young brother was perplexed for quite a while. (For the psychology geeks, like me, out there – It suggests that attempted thought suppression has paradoxical effects as a self-control strategy, perhaps even producing the very obsession or preoccupation that it is directed against.)

* * *

AN: I'd appreciate your reviews. :) 


	13. The Life of a Rose

AN: Because of the good reactions on the previous length... I made this one even longer. I hope you will enjoy it.

AN (for fun): Shady – the real life one – is my BETAreader. He hasn't read _Twilight _and only read _Blood and Chocolate_ while he was on the loo (which I mentally slapped him for). So he isn't _as_ interested in this fanfic. Naturally, he told me he was (not to hurt me no doubt).

To check if he paid attention, I asked what happened in the previous chapter. He replied with "That creep went into her bedroom." hehe "Why don't you make me (Shady, the character) a god or something. Then I'll kill Edward and do Vivian. So far you have only given me _one_ line that consisted of _one_ word which was 'FRUITCAKE'!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He kissed my hair. I smiled and drifted to a wonderful sleep, filled with unimportant and pleasant images.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 13 – The Life of a Rose

_Hmmm, I'm comfortable_. I curled and uncurled my toes. I noticed there was some gentle pressure on me. I blindly groped to see what it was; soft, stuffy. My winter blankets. _Strange, wasn't it late summer?_

"Good morning."

I yelped and hit whatever was behind me from the bed.

"I take it you're not a morning person?" a musical voice sounded from the floor.

Yesterday's memories boomed into awareness. I jumped, aiming to land on top of Edward. However, airborne he picked me out of the sky and threw me in bed. "Your mom's coming," he whispered and weaved under the bed.

Not a moment later, a groggy Esmé opened the door.

"Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were awa- DANG!" still drunk with sleep she meandered into my room. "What god forsaken desert is rotting in this den?" She didn't have the moon's blessing pumping through her, like I had; she still thought Edward smelled. She had optically searched my desk for the origin, and was already halfway down to check under my bed.

"No mom! I just…" _help _"farted."

Flabbergasted, she muttered "Shees, is that my offspring?" and with that she left the room. I was glad she didn't link the smell to Edward. My mom was well-renowned for her drama.

After blinking once, I found Edward on my desk chair. "I can't say I'm too flattered by your stroke of creativity," he whispered amused.

I laughed and went over to sit on his lap. "You're all warm!" I hushed, and placed my cheek on his. He was still a few degrees below the usual 37, nonetheless he wasn't cool like I remembered.

"I know. You can't imagine how good it feels. Last night when you started shivering, I could either move away from you, or find more blankets. The choice was simple."

"I'm glad you stayed." I wasn't referring to just the bed.

He gave me a warm, knowing smile which soon turned oddly bitter. "Vivian, I've been wrecking my head off about this all night, and…" He threw his head back, seemingly peering through the sealing. "I think you should still go meet the Quileutes. But I would sincerely _appreciate_ it if you wouldn't give that swine private lessons." He inclined his head back at me, his gaze painfully serious.

I was perplexed. "I don't understand." Last night was quite a different story. Don't get me wrong, I'd be happy to have wolves around me, but I preferred Edward.

His expression softened, though I still detected moroseness in it. "I wouldn't want you to miss out on your life just because of me. I listened to you carefully last night, when you talked about your old pack. I can't pretend that you will be happy without other wolves around you.

"Eventually, when we will no longer be together, I want you to live a fruitful life. And in order to do that, a pack is what you need. I can't mess up your entire life for a few years of your presence." The self-loathing sorrow was no longer merely hinted at.

A lump had accumulated in my throat. I tried not to think about the fact that whatever we would start, we could never finish. He had no option of becoming mortal, and I had no option of staying seventeen forever. Our star-crossed love was doomed to end. _Love_, it would be a true description of the feelings that Edward stirred in me. My insides jolted at the realisation.

From this moment on, I'd make it my number one priority, to throw a lifetime worth of passion, into the meagre amount of years we could spend together.

"Let's not dwell on that." I resolved. "In the meantime, you are the best vampire boyfriend ever!" I flung myself at him.

"I'd better be, after this," he comically scoffed.

We messed around very quietly for a few minutes; cuddling, kissing, and nipping each others' earlobes until we were rudely interrupted by a ferocious growl that originated from my stomach. I was hungry.

"Let's go get you some breakfast before your stomach scares me into offering you my arm," he smirked. "Your mother left a minute ago."

I bit my lip, thinking. "Is there anything I can offer you?" Was the handing his arm over a hint? Before you know it we would be eating each other, I shrugged the thought off, disgusted. "We could go hunting quickly before school. I usually keep the hunting for later meals but for you, my friend," I poked him, "I'll make an exception."

"I don't need to eat as often as you do; once every few days is enough not to be uncomfortable, more is always possible. Let's just feed you something human for now. We'll make the hunting a date. It's something I'd want to fully explore."

_I__t would definitely be different from the hunting I've been used to so far. I'm glad I'm able to offer him something that he hasn't experienced alr– Wow. _My train of thoughts was insolently disrupted by Edward scooping me up. We were heading towards the kitchen.

He deposited me right-side-up on a kitchen chair. "How sweet of you to want to make me breakfast," I said, masking my mischief.

"I, eh…" Edward, usually strong and sure, was now at a loss. I saw him exchange nervous glances between me, the kitchen cabinets, and refrigerator. "Right." Determined, he opened the fridge and grabbed some eggs and bacon. I saw him hesitantly study at the gas cooker. Barely audible he murmured "Any housewife can do this, how hard can it be?"

After a small moment of fumbling, he got it to work. He turned to give me a look full of manly pride. When he saw my face, he said "Give me _some_ credit. The last cooker I handled was heated with coals."

I screened the smile of my face and nodded seriously. "You're right." Only to make up for it when he turned his attention back to the stove.

Lucky for me, eggs and bacon don't leave a lot of room to mess up. When Edward served me his concoction, he held the pan in a way that would normally cause a third degree burn. He didn't seem to notice. And the food, truthfully, it didn't taste all that bad. I praised him and lavished him with kisses.

Before we headed to school, I left a note for mom, suggesting we go meet the Quileutes tomorrow. I was sure she would agree. Edward pretended to be ok with it. He drove us to school at a _finally_ decent speed, _much_ better than my Spider could attain. He promised me to let me drive some time. An evil grin framed my face, _I'll show him just how a wolf-girl can drive_.

* * *

The morning passed by smoothly. I had the best time in history, mentally prying the answers of a Second World War test out of Edward. Who had in fact, lived through it. He was not as excited about the situation. He said this would be a one-time-only thing; he wanted me to get a vamp-free education. Still, it was nice to have Edward as a back-up. And men can be so easily persuaded. 

"You know, I was thinking-"

"Really?! I'm _so_ proud of you Edward!" I interjected. He raised an eyebrow.

It was lunch now. We were sitting alone at our table, south of the cafeteria. We were still subjected to frequent stares, though the number was diminishing. Occasionally I saw Bridget out of the corner of my eye, being extra goofy, trying to take my attention of Edward. It made me laugh, but she had to do better than that in order to manage.

Edward's family, the Cullens, were quite a different story. The 'superior' blond Rosalie occasionally gave me a dirty look; like I still smelled in her opinion (even though I knew my smell changed when my hair changed). The two males didn't pay much attention. I was glad to receive a smile from Alice once we entered, though it was fleeting. Afterwards I wondered if I had imagined it.

"You're happy today," he said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to savour the feeling. "Yes, I am." What was there not to be happy about? I had a man, whom I… loved. He was everything I desired, and he appeared to be into me too. I had potential pack waiting for me tomorrow. The only thing that did mildly worry me, was the looks my mom had given me, and the fact that whatever worried her, was important enough for Aunt Persia to cross the continent.

"So, I was _thinking_," he gave me a glare that dared me to interrupt. I smiled sweetly. "We could spend the day at my place. And we'll hunt our dinner."

I gave a dreading peek towards the remaining Cullens. The idea of spending time near them didn't exactly provide the setting for an enjoyable afternoon. I didn't doubt that Edward would stand up for me if it came to that. And if they'd snap at me, I was sure as hell to snap back. Though, I wanted to be in their good graces as much as possible.

"They won't be there," he said, guessing my thoughts. "My family will be going on a 'hiking' trip. We'll have the house all to ourselves." My lips pulled upwards and I eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, innocent intentions only, off course." His topaz eyes sparkled dangerously.

_O__ff course_. I pretended to ponder. He raised his eyebrows sceptically. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. Keep going." I looked at him questionably. He seemed to get agitated by the wait. "Argh, just say 'yes' already. Get this formality over with."

I was offended now. Was I the only one who thought this afternoon implied an opportunity for sex? Did he want this 'formality' over with so he could get some? The thought hurt me; I assumed he had more decency, more noble intentions than that.

He must have noticed a change in my expression, for he angled his head and frowned. I could almost hear cogs turning, him mentally backtracking what he said. His mouth now took the shape of 'o'.

"Vivian, you know I didn't mean _that_. Alice already saw that you were going to come over. I knew your answer before you would speak it. I was just a bit impatient at the formality of asking if you'd like to come," his voice rang with sincerity.

I squeezed my eyes to slits. "Alright then."

"And I'll be a gentleman, promise." His expression was neutral, but there was wickedness in his eyes.

I wasn't worried about him being a gentleman or not. As long as he doesn't just see me as a piece of tail, or a piece of ass in his case.

"But didn't you tell me, that when Alice sees the future it wasn't set in stone? I could have changed my mind."

"Yes, I did say that. But I figured I didn't do anything out of the ordinary that would lead to that."

"Can Alice see my future whenever she wants? I'd like to know how the meeting between the Quileutes will go."

He moved a hand through his jumbled hair. "No, when it comes to Quileutes she can't see a thing. Her sight is completely blind to them; like they don't exist at all. With you she can at least see something. She can't look into your future, it will be blank. But she could look into her own, and see me informing my family that you'll be coming over. Which, I will be doing in a moment – the others don't know yet." He smiled.

"Oh, so there is no way she can see how things would go with the Quileutes?"

"I'm afraid not." I grimaced. "Believe me, I'm not too happy about that either.

"I'll go inform my family now. Princes, I apologise in advance for their behaviour, I'm not sure how they will react. Try not to pay too much attention to what Rose says. She…" he looked uneasy. "she won't be as lenient as the others."

I nodded. With that he stood up and made his way towards his family. I positioned my head at a right angle from them, to acutely catch their words. I filtered out all the remaining voices in the cafeteria, only to focus on them.

"I'm bringing Vivian over today. Be nice," I heard Edward say in a factual dominant tone.

Emmet spoke, "Edward, are you sure that would be a good idea?"

"Yes, and-"

"Is she housetrained?" Rosalie sneered.

I sharply turned my head to glare at her. I saw Edward join me. I realised a mental conversation must be going on between them, for Edward occasionally nodded or shook his head, glaring daggers all the time. All the gold was pushed out of his irises.

"Fine," she ultimately spat. The others Cullens seemed not to want to interfere and 'casually' directed their gazes in different directions. Edward gave a stern nod and headed back in my direction. I saw his black orbs turn into solar eclipse, and then slowly back again to their golden glory.

"All taken care off," he smiled.

* * *

"Can I drive?" I asked eagerly. 

"Next time ok? You don't know where to go."

I would argue that he can simply give directions, but I changed my mind, seeing as Edward was looking a bit nerved; probably because his werewolf girlfriend was about to be introduced to his vampire adoptive parents. I got into the passenger seat. Jasper, Alice, Emmet, and Rosalie had already taken off in an eye-catching red convertible that apparently belonged to Rosalie.

We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River, the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther apart. And then we were past the houses altogether, driving through misty forest. He abruptly turned onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked, barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpent like, around the ancient trees.

After a few miles, there was some thinning of the woods, and we were suddenly in a small meadow, or lawn. The trees held their protecting shadow right up to the walls of the house that rose among them, making obsolete the deep porch that wrapped the first of three stories. The house was timeless white, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. In other words, I loved it.

The awe at the house and its location was soon forgotten, and replaced with a nervous alertness. I too clearly remembered the initial hostility Edward subjected me to when we first met. The term 'mortal enemy' echoed in my head. I, unbidden tail and all, would be walking into a layer of vampires. At school his siblings acted reasonably normal, but would it still be the same in a private secluded area, without the pretences for other humans? _Surely Edward wouldn't bring me here if it weren't safe right?_ We headed to the mahogany front door, meanwhile I scrutinised his expression. _Right?_

His thumb was rubbing soothing circles into the back of my hand. "I'm here. It will be alright," he said in warm tones.

As he reached for the door, it flung open. A streak of black hair and white skin was launched at me. Before I knew it, I was being kissed on the cheek by Alice. "Hi Vivian!" Alice called enthusiastically. Edward cleared his throat.

She rolled her eyes. "And Edward. But I've seen enough of you." She gave him an amicable shove and snatched my arm instead, dragging me inside. In the meantime my heart restarted.

"Uh, hi Alice."

The interior of the house was beautiful; bright, open, and very large. There was a wide living-room area. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. And just like the outside, the inside was hued in various shades of white.

Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door, on a raised portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edward's parents. Both had the same smooth marble skin, the same pale, enchanting features as the rest of them. Something about Esme's heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel-colored hair, reminded me of the ingénues of the silent-movie era. They were young – probably mid twenties. Dr. Carlisle Cullen's face and body held an outrageous perfection, his hair was a golden blond that complimented his eyes. To my utmost relief, they were smiling in welcome.

Edward, once reunited at my side, broke the short silence, "this is Vivian." I tentatively walked towards them to greet them. They're hands were the cold, stone grasp I expected them to, though their smile was hospitable.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Vivian," Carlisle said.

"Welcome," Esme said sincerely.

At that moment Jasper came down the stairs, tall and leonine. I felt relieved and let out some of the breath I'd been holding. I saw Jasper wink at Edward, and I remembered what his gift was; empathy.

"Hi Vivian," Jasper grinned.

"Hi. Thank you all for your hospitality. I must say it's a relief."

"Oh Edward, you haven't been giving her the wrong idea have you?" Esme gave him a reprimanding look.

At that moment Emmet and Rosalie descended the vast staircase. "Can we go already?" Rosalie jabbed.

Carlisle's smile left some of its vigour, "That would be best."

"I hope we'll be seeing more of you Vivian." Esme said and gave me a small hug before leaving through the front door with her husband.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Alice pleaded adorably.

"_Please decline," _Edward's thought told me.

"Maybe another time, but thanks." She eyed Edward suspiciously, while gracefully gliding out of the front door with Jasper.

The big burly Emmet sauntered uncomfortably in my direction with a scratchy smile on his face. He patted my shoulder awkwardly with his large hand before leaving.

Rosalie paraded to stand in front of me. She scrutinised my appearance, disdain written all over her. I fought back a growl. Her eyes were slits when they met mine. "Woof," she said.

"That's enough!" Edward hissed.

My upper lip curled upwards without me being aware of it. _How I'd love to claw a few tears in that pretty face._ Without another word, she nonchalantly strode out of the door, her blond hair trailing behind her.

"I'm sorry for her behaviour," Edward apologised.

"It's Ok. I'm glad the rest of your family doesn't seem to mind." His expression was pleased. No doubt it had been on his mind. "This is one killer house by the way, and that black piano… beautiful." His eyes danced at the mention. "Do you play?"

He jubilantly shrugged, "A little." The eagerness was clearly there. We walked over to the piano. He gestured me to sit down next to him. He gave me a long, exasperated look before turning to the keys.

And then his fingers flowed swiftly across the ivory, and the room was filled with a composition so complex, so luxuriant. I'd never heard piano playing done by someone non-human, even now I had to concentrate to see all hand movements. I recognised the song, though naturally I'd never heard this version before.

"Claire de Lune?"

He gave me a curious smile. "You know it?"

I gave him a look that said _Of course_. He laughed freely. We must have sat there for about four minutes. Edward kept playing, allowing me to drift along with the melody, and the changes in rhythm. It was a peculiar thing, how music can work on the mind.

The musical piece was about to end. But the final chord I was expecting never came. Instead it transformed into a ballad… similar to _Claire de Lune_; same changes in rhythm, though the melody differed, and the tone was more passionate.

Edward enjoyed the awe that must have been written all over me. "You inspired this one," he said.

"I rock," was all I could say, but there simply were no words to describe.

The last note hovered brilliantly in the silence. "You were right," I said.

"I usually am, but what specifically this time?"

_This guy is so full of himself_, I thought fondly. "You do play a _little_."

* * *

An hour had passed. We were now still innocent, waywardly sprawled, on the black sofa – for lack of a bed – in Edward's room. His room faced south, with a wall-sized window. I figured the whole back side of the house must be made of glass. He had a view of the winding Sold Duc River, across the untouched forest to the Olympic Mountain range. The western wall was completely covered with stocked CD racks. The remaining wall space was lined with heavy fabric in a slightly darker shade than the golden carpet that covered the floor. In the corner stood a humongous sound-system, it must be amazing to play a gnawing rock CD on that baby. 

I was lying with my back on the sofa. Edward was hovering above me in push up position. I gave him a keen look, while letting my hands entwine with his hair, to pull him closer for a kiss. He lowered himself, but instead took my hands and placed them above my head, holding them there. His free hand travelled over my forehead and eyebrows. His expression was mystified, yet affectionate. His index finger lightly caressed my lips, causing my skin to tingle.

He leaned down, his body framing my own. I wanted that kiss, but he still held my hands. His lips languorously trailed my neck, up to my cheek. He was so close, his heady scent and movements forced my hormones on a rollercoaster ride. Then he finally did kiss me. It was a sweet light caress, a perfect balance between lips and tongue. A few moments passed before it became more demanding, vigorous. Edward reluctantly broke away, to consider my expression. He didn't want to force me. I answered his unspoken question by heaving him closer.

Passion surged between us, my breathing accelerated. Edward's smooth hand pulled the strand of my top down past my shoulder. And then…

The phone rang.

"Seriously?" he rasped to no one in particular. He hesitated an instant, then at the top speed, went to answer the phone in his room.

"Edward," Rosalie's voice reverberated though the speaker. _Of f---ing course, who else?_

"What is it?" Edward said in a tone that reflected my frustration.

"I don't have much time to talk. We have trouble," she sounded anxious. "We're at the same place we went last week. We need you. HURRY." And the line was cut.

The frustration turned to worry.

"I'll come with you." I stood up and headed for the door.

"No, you have to stay here." He was resolute.

"But I can fight with you!"

"It could be vampires. Perhaps they merely need me to read their intentions. If I bring a werewolf along it would sure as hell end in a fight."

"What if it's the Quileutes?"

"We have a treaty with them. It should be fine."

_Yea__h right_. It didn't seem fine to me last time he had an encounter with them. I thought about Jasper last Monday in lunch, how he had to restrain himself at the smell of cold animal blood. What if there had been a wounded hiker in the woods?

"And what if the treaty has been broken?"

He looked concerned, catching onto my train of thought. "Vivian, we can't risk it. Stay here, please." I was now subjected to wide open eyes. "For me."

"Ok then," I scoffed. _Dear moon, I'm turning soft._

He gave me one fierce, swift kiss, before disappearing outside. The last I heard was the revving of his shiny Volvo.

"So…" I sighed to myself. I looked around his room. Yes I was worried, but I couldn't just sit here and wait. Perhaps I could shove that longed rock CD into the music installation. _I hope Edward will be ok._ _But what trouble could possibly loom in Forks? Though an hour had passed, and with their speed, they could be well outside of Forks. Hell, they could be up on the mountains. _

I looked around in the vast music collection, trying to take my mind off the situation. He had _everything_, think of a song, or composition it was there – apart from techno, I was glad to see he had some taste. I found recent things on the far right, and songs I'd never heard of on the far left.

I sighed, it was no use. I couldn't help but to dwell on Edward. Imagining different situations each time; some were innocent, others gruesome.

Then a buzzing sound reached my ears. It was the engine of a car. I hurried downstairs and spurred through the front door. The sun was well on its way to hide behind the horizon. It was twilight. An array of colours from the sky were reflected on the red convertible that moved closer to me, Rosalie being its only occupant. _Whatever, I'll take it._ I was hungry for information.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her.

She turned the engine off. "It will be." Her expression was unreadable.

"What happened?"

"_You_, is what happened." She got out and stood a few meters away from me. "You, and _your_ kind." Obvious resentment stained her liquid voice.

_Could__ my old pack be here?_ "I don't understand."

"I don't expect you to."

She was awfully frustrating. _Tell me what I need to know damn it!_ "Are the others ok?" I said more demanding. There was no point pretending to be kind to her.

"_My_ family, is fine." Obvious emphasis on the word 'my'. "It will be a while before they notice I'm gone, and roughly thirty minutes before they'll make it back."

_What? Did she set them up to get to me?_ It dawned on me just how serious she was about her hostility. I tensed up, and crouched down. If she didn't mind misleading her family, she'd swindle me in a second. She mimicked the stance only too eagerly. She treaded tender steps to her left. I kept my eyes on her, and moved one step to the right for each of hers, tracing the contours of an invisible circle.

"I knew Edward would leave you here. He'll get over you." She waved the matter away with her hand. "It's not like you're anything special."

"Your mom told you you were?" I snapped.

Apparently I'd hit some hidden bruise, for anger seemed to become her. "My _mother_, was murdered, along with my father, and myself. Carlisle changed me when I was already halfway gone."

What brought this sudden burst of information? "What does that have to do with me?"

"You," she sneered. Her lips curled in opposite directions, revealing a set of white venom-coated teeth. "_You_ are the reason I live this existence. You and your filthy bestial kind. A blood driven werewolf killed me. Not one like the Quileutes, but just like _you_. At least Quileutes can claim they were once human. You are the only one in this picture who never was.

"You took my family from me. You took my life. I'll be damned if I let you ruin this existence I have now."

I felt sorry for her. I knew what it was like to loose family. "I'm sorry if-"

"SORRY?" she gasped. "You don't have feelings."

Alright, reasoning was obviously out of the question. This was going to be a one on one fight. I wasn't sure how to kill a vampire, though tearing limbs off should definitely get in the right direction.

I focused my eyes on hers, wanting to catch the first strike that would undoubtedly occur fast. With my other senses, I paid attention to her steps. I could only hope that if- No, _when_ I'd come out on top… Edward would forgive me.

My claws unsheathed. I blinked and found Rosalie halfway across our illusory circle. _It's on._

* * *

AN: '_Claire de Lune'_ translated means 'Moonlight'. In my profile is a link to listen to it. Naturally, what Edward played was more complex, but us poor humans can't seem to pull that off. 

Thank you all for your comments. You all rock!


	14. Blood, Sweat, and Tears

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I focused my eyes on hers, wanting to catch the first strike that would undoubtedly occur fast. With my other senses, I paid attention to her steps. I could only hope that if- No, _when_ I'd came out on top… Edward would forgive me.

My claws unsheathed. I blinked and found Rosalie halfway across our illusory circle. _It's on._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 14 – Blood, Sweat, and Tears

I clenched my abdomen and harshly willed the change on. My modifying legs were not yet functional to evade Rosalie's attack.

With her blinding momentum she hurled me into a tree. My back bent around it in an anatomically impossible manner. A groan wheezed out of me. Fortunately my spine was in the process of remodelling at that moment, and my bones merely shifted back into their correct position.

My paws found the floor. My eyes found Rosalie. She was standing in front of her scarlet car. I growled at the sight of her. I was fierce, and full of adrenaline.

"Didn't you know? Animals don't scare me," she said nonchalantly. "I usually _eat_ them." And with that, the blond, black-eyed fiend, once again darted towards me.

I let my instincts guide me. This time I was ready.

I met her halfway, my teeth seeking her abdomen. Her ethereal hands blocked my attack. I fought back snapping and clawing where I could, but Rosalie was aggravatingly lithe and managed to dodge my every move. Having eternity on her hands, she must have found some time to refine her fighting technique. My teeth eventually managed to pierce her right shoulder blade. The red liquid that flowed into my mouth was a blend of several animals; I could detect elk and bear, combined with something older. The taste drove me wild. Her razor nails dug their way into my neck.

We broke apart. She was near the white mansion, me on the path that led towards it. I was breathing fast, due to the speedy sparring, and the exciting blood that danced on my tongue. Rosalie, who didn't need oxygen, was looking pissed. Apparently she assumed I would be an easier wolf to beat. For some reason she hadn't tried to use her teeth on me. True, her iron nails were effective weapons, but I had expected differently.

To my dismay, I saw the set of punctures in her shoulder heal over with fresh white skin. She rotated the attached arm and pulled a diminutive grimace. Apparently the internal wound took somewhat longer to heal. The scrapes on _my_ neck were still trickling blood. I healed faster than humans, but not _that_ fast.

I had to be careful.

Sunlight had vacated this lawn amongst the woods. I felt the initial streaks of white light tingle the individual hairs of my fur. Two more days and the moon would be full; the adored light was nearly palpable. Rosalie was more of a challenge than I had dared to assume. But with the moon above me, it would only be more natural to let the wolf in me take over.

After rolling her arm a second time, she smiled. Like a hawk, she flung herself in the air, her claws tracking me. I swiftly moved under her and leaped up. My teeth penetrated her torso. A horrific screech filled the air. I started tearing away, a cocktail of blood dyed my muzzle red. I experienced a searing pain on my brow; her tough nails were scratching on my skull. I fell back, yelping. I tried to pry my eyes open, I _had_ to keep track of her. It was futile. Rosalie's blood, combined with that of my own, tainted my vision. I shook my head furiously from left to right, ignoring the pain, to shake it off. I tried to open them a second time, without prevail. Blood was seeping out of my head-wound into my eyes.

Even though I couldn't see, I was aware that Rosalie was on the ground, like me, her wound facing upwards. I quietly howled my ever gratefulness to the Moon Goddess. The blessing she bestowed upon me still allowed me to see, or rather sense, my surroundings.

My life's liquid was ebbing from my head, I felt myself growing weaker by the minute. Rosalie on the other hand, was developing some new skin on her stomach. She started to slowly struggle to her feet, and suppressed a wince.

She was now staggering towards me. I forced myself not to pay attention to my waning body, and disregard the pain. _One moment of weakness could be my death_. The moonlight only shone on the back of her. I was unable to see her expression, though her voice didn't leave much guess work.

"You little _bitch_," she snarled. "Oh, what's that? Got something in your eye?" Her menacing laugh echoed within my mind. "I'll take it out - your eye I mean." She limped closer to me, still in pain. I lay on the short grass, pretending to be too hurt to get up. Her hand swept into the moonlight, nearing my face. I disregarded my pretences, and snapped her four fingers between my vengeful teeth. Again she shrieked. But this time, I wasn't letting go. I shook my head angrily, from left to right. Satisfaction filled me at the sound of little pops and crunches of bones and joint. Her remaining hand was trying to yank my teeth apart. With one final tear, I had them. All four of them, in my mouth, disconnected from her hand.

She fell back screaming and whimpering. I chewed on the digits that were once part of that flawless hand, relishing the destruction.

I was so caught up with the taste of flesh and blood, fed by the whimpers of Rosalie, that I didn't notice something else dash towards me. Suddenly I was heaved up by the cuff, free from the ground. The hold was bruising. I sensed I was hauled to eyelevel by an intimidating, large vampire. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WIFE?"

The bleeding of my head was reasonably minimal now. I opened my sticky eyes in order to see Emmet's. They were black, vacant of all traces of friendliness. I was so shocked, my jaw dropped, and the four chewed fingers pathetically dropped to the earth.

Whatever restraint Emmet had before, had taken flight. He used his other hand to expose my furry neck to him. I was aware of his pointed teeth nearing it. I struggled unsuccessfully. _This is it. I wish I could have seen Edward one last time._ I felt my fur part on my neck. But the teeth never got their chance to draw blood…

I was knocked unceremoniously from the large bruising hands. My head flopped on a boulder a few meters further.

I smelled a sweet masculine scent, before drifting off into a black haze.

_Edward_...

* * *

Something cool trickled down my temples. _I can't. I don't have the energy to… be…_

_There it i__s again. Should I wake up? Open my eyes? No, I'm fine like this._ _I remember, something… Wasn't it? No. Probably not. _

Cool streaks ran down my temples. Then a bruising pain in the back of my neck.

"Ouch!" I wanted to say, but I yelped instead. My eyes flung open. They fell upon Edward, who looked painfully relieved. Willing the world to stop spinning, I looked at my paws._ I'm still wolf. Oh, I didn't die then._ I saw a wet cloth in one of Edwards hands. There was a mixture of water and blood on it. From the smell of it, it was mostly mine. I found myself on the soft moss and pebbles of Lake Crescent.

I painstakingly looked up, desiring to see Edward again. His lips were moving. His emotions were changing from worry, to anger, and back again. But no sound could be heard.

I started to stretch into a girl again. I wanted to ask him if he could see ears on my head, or perhaps they were broken in little shards, like a china vase. I hoped I didn't step on them. I think Edward was trying to comfort me. He didn't need to_. I know my mum likes gluing things back together._

When the last bones snapped pack into their rightful place, my hearing boomed back. I heard rustling of leaves, a frog, Edward, water move against pebbles, birds. The intensity was low, but it was too much, too fast, to process. Unwillingly, I found myself lost in the dark haze once again.

"Vivian," a velvet voice carefully prodded.

"Yes?" I opened my eyes to see that the shade of the night was still the same as before. I must have passed out for only a small moment the second time. "Is Rosalie ok?" I hope I didn't kill his sister, even though a prominent part of me felt she deserved it.

His face softened, touched by my question. "Yes, she'll be fine. Do you feel pain anywhere?" He looked my body over in a professional manner. Right, he went to med-school.

"Is Rosalie ok?" That wench had it coming, but I never meant to take his sister away.

Edward frowned. "She's fine. It seems like you have a concussion. You hit your head pretty hard. And you lost a serious amount of blood. Do you feel pain elsewhere?"

_If my head wouldn't hurt so much, I would consider__ answering his question. _"Eh," my hand reached to my forehead. I think Edward must have cleaned it, because the excessive blood was gone. The back of my neck felt bruised too. _Oh, yes. Emmet._

"What happened to Emmet?"

He smiled sadly. "He wasn't too happy that I took you away." He indicated his right arm. He was shirtless. There were streaks of fresh flesh on his arm, and an odd purple colour that indicated bruising. "I never had to fight my brother before. But I think he was just caught up in the moment. We both know Rosalie had set this whole thing up. Carlisle was furious."

I noticed I was wearing his white shirt. One sleeve was missing, it was on the ground next to me, soaked with water and blood. _I wish the world would stop turning for a bit. _

I laid back, letting the moonlight bathe my appearance to see the state of me. My tawny and white hair was divided into clumps of dried blood. My forehead had four claret parallel clotted lines running across it. _The fight. Fingers. Rosalie._

"Is Rosalie ok?"

"I thought you'd heal faster than this. You have a bad concussion Vivian." concern weaved into words. "You told me the moon holds healing powers for you. Is there not something you can do?"

_The moon_. I gazed at the near-perfect orb in appreciation. The little blood I had left responded well to the rays that fell on my skin. Perhaps it was possible to do what Edward requested. I had some of the Moon's blessing in me. But I doubted it would be enough to heal my head and other wounds. "I don't think I can."

"Please try."

"Ok," I breathed, slightly dizzy. I closed my eyes and envisioned my body on the pebbles. I focused on the white energy that lingered in my soul; festered in my bones, flowed through my veins. Now I tried to _feel_ it. Become more and more aware of it, trying to get a hold of it, direct it.

Every time when I thought I made the energy palpable, it ebbed away again, reabsorbed in my body. _Argh, it's so… hard_. I tried again and again, until I could feel a slither of cool energy within my body, and willed it to my head. _It's taking too long, I can't…_ With so much willpower it hurt, I maintained it, and mentally moved it around within my head. _I can't… do this… for much longer_. I could feel the haze clearing, the clotted blood on my forehead fall to the ground. _Enough!_

"GAAAAAH!" I cried out. The sensation was painfully overwhelming. I jumped up not knowing where to go. I was soaked in sweat, and the tears were streaming down my face. _Too much. Out, I have to get out of here. Escape this._

I was about to make a run for it when Edwards' marble arms snaked around my body. "Vivian," it didn't register that he was worried. I was panting heavily and I was trying to get away. He dragged me down to the ground, hugging me in straightjacket position. "Calm down. It's ok."

My eyes darted in every direction. I was too alert. I felt so wrong, _make it stop_. Edward was struggling to keep me down. In small moments his face flashed before me with concern, unable to make much of it. Sobs and screeches filled the air and mingled with the rustling leaves, the frog, Edward, the water moving against pebbles, and the birds. Eternity seemed to pass in the shape of panic. Then, a velvet singing managed to puncture my brain.

_"__Come stop your crying, it will be all right. _

_Just take my hand, hold it tight. _

_I will protect you, from all around you._

_I will be here, don't you cry." _

At any other moment, I probably would have laughed at him. But right now, I clung to his words, them being the only things that were keeping me sane.

_"No one could understand the way we feel. _

_How would they know? How can we explain? _

_Although we're different, deep inside us, we're not that different at all. _

_"Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know?  
_

_We need each other, to have, to hold.  
_

_They'll see in time, I know."_

My breathing had turned to a more desirable pace. His honey voice had soothed the distress in my head. The anxiety was largely eased. Small tremors now passed through me instead of uncontrollable jerking. Edward loosened his grip and smiled down on me. 

"Feeling better now?" Affection was braided into his tone.

"Yes, thank you," I whimpered, and shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"No, it's not that. I'll be ok. But I'm never doing that again."

"Please don't," he chuckled, letting some of his own tension go.

I ripped the other sleeve of the shirt that he had put on me, and turned to hug him. I wanted to feel his cool skin against my own.

"Do you know what happened there?" Edward asked.

"No idea. I'll have to ask Aunt Persia when she comes."

I hugged him even closer, though my strength was fleeting. A lock of bloodstained hair fell into my vision. The sweat and tears didn't get a chance to dry yet. _Goddess, I'm a mess. _Another tremor ran down my body, though the frequency was subsiding.

"You have a nice voice," I told him. I doubted anything else could have calmed me.

"You are too kind," he said.

I carefully struggled to my feet, and meandered to the crystal clear lake. I wanted to clean myself and drink my dehydration away. I stumbled over my feet and nearly fell, if it wasn't for Edward. He took me into his arms, bridal style, and walked into the water.

I was sure the shirt was shine through in its wet state. However, it's not like Edward hadn't seen it all before. I felt his hand move though my hair, washing out the blood. I didn't have the energy to tell him I could do it myself. He hummed the ballad he had played earlier for me on the piano.

"Try to sleep a bit."

"Ok," I mumbled. Already halfway there.

* * *

AN: I hope you enjoyed this. 

Edward masterly combined sections of _I'll Be in Your Heart_ by Phill Collins, from the original, and the reprise from the Tarzan Broadway Musical.


	15. To Heal, or Not to Heal

**Warning: This author's note**** contains ****spoilers for **_**Eclipse**_**. Chapter 15 follows.**

AN:

Brooding, Gumea leaned back on her squeaky chair. After having reluctantly mopped up the final tear off her cheek, a lethal snarl ripped from her throat. "Why do all these books have sad endings?" She hurled the hardly-thick-enough book entitled 'Eclipse' on her bed – only to pick it up immediately, repentantly apologising to the black cover. She had hated the book, but not nearly as much as she loved it. Unfortunately, she was not yet ready to admit to this truth.

She multi tasked by sighing and brooding some more. Finally she got up, ready to give in to her mortal needs by means of sleep, food, and a bathroom. As she hovered through a house, filled with unconscious humans, her thoughts roamed freely: _Not only did this mess up my fanfiction, but now Jacob is unhappy... You know Meyer, a happily-ever-after once in a while wouldn't hurt anyone. Why do all these books have to be so sequel prone?_

"_Why?"_ she silently exclaimed, and repositioned her toothbrush to its rightful resting place.

Her dark mind ambled to her near finished Chapter 15. _I'll just have to pick up after _New Moon_. The changes would mess with my plot. I did beat her to making a history for Rosalie. No offence, Meyer, but I prefer mine, _she thought defiantly. She pulled the covers to her chin, welcoming the thought of sleep, ignoring the sun that was about to rise.

_And why isn't Bella a vampire yet? __I've been waiting for it since chapter two of _Twilight. _Now book three is over, and yet her heart is _still_ beating! If she won't be a vampire by book four, I'll… I'll… _She shook her hands above her angrily, taking the sheets with them. _I'll buy book five_. She dropped them again in defeat.

A bit groggy she stared at her alarm clock. It read '5:53 am'.

_Hmm, if I don't get this rant out of my head, I won't be able to sleep._ She drifted towards her computer, jutting her lower lip out in a childlike pout that she was glad no one could see_. I guess I'll have to apologise for not updating in a while._ Another growl escaped her._ No, I won't, s_he resolved, resting her head on the palm of her hand. _I'm on strike._

It was something she found herself doing regularly these days, when good novels portrayed unpleasant situations for main characters. Her imagination had always been too vivid for her own liking. She didn't particularly enjoy her own emotions flowing in tune with those of fictional characters. It caused her to laugh, sob like a baby, or being 'on strike'. The latter two were accurate symptoms induced by _Eclipse's _final chapter. Laughter, in addition to a minor headache, was the result of reading how Edward and Alice played chess. Her own hand had collided with her forehead as fiercely as her human strength and speed would allow. "Why hadn't I thought of that?" she had questioned.

Her alertness cascaded with her resolves. She sighed – with minty freshness – while her fingers glided over the keyboard.

**Sorry for not updating in a while. I've been reading **_**Eclipse**_** and a deliciously long fanfic on **_**Phantom of the Opera**_**. Plus, I didn't really favour writing this chapter, but… plot is plot. I'll be more eager to write the ones that follow. **

**On an 'Eclipsing' note:**

**1. Edward still can't hear the thoughts of Quileutes while they are wolves. **

**2. Rosalie's past remains how I have written it in chapter 13.**

**3. Only male Quileutes can become werewolves.**

**I'll adjust the rest of my plot as much as I can. Please don't ****question my sanity – rewriting the bible may have consequences. If you **_**do **_**question my sanity, you'll probably convince me.**

Too tired to reread her author's note, she shut down the computer. Her heavy head sank unto a pillow. Gratefully, she entered a world full of warm werewolves, scintillating vampires, and hot Egyptian men who claimed godhood.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I felt his hand move though my hair, washing the blood out. I didn't have the energy to tell him I could do it myself. He hummed the ballad he had played earlier for me on the piano.

"Try to sleep a bit."

"Ok," I mumbled. Already halfway there.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 15 – To Heal, or Not to Heal

I forced my eyes open, welcoming the plain white sealing. I couldn't handle the images of fire, and angels claiming to be monsters, for too long. Apart from raindrops against my balcony door, no sound could be heard. I checked my alarm clock, '13:05'. _So much for school_. I wondered why mom hadn't woken me up.

I started to stretch my fingers and limbs, testing their status. _At least they're still attached to my body_, I thought darkly. I sighed. Yesterday was quite a night. I remembered each trivial detail, apart from…

_Edward must have carried me home. _

Unconsciously, I wasn't too thrilled about that. I walked to my closet mirror to inspect the state of me. I was wearing a baggy faded T-shirt that my mom once got for free with a six pack of coke. Edward's refined shirt must have still been wet once we got here. The discomfort reached a level of awareness. Its origin wasn't him having seen me naked… again. It was the fact that somebody was taking care of me. It felt wrong.

In the Gandillon house I seemed to be the one to take care of my mother around here, not the other way around. It was better that way. The only person, who _really_ had taken care of me, was my father. And that worked out well…

My reflection wasn't all that hot. I looked pale and disheveled. I searched for wounds; there were obvious claw-like scratches on my neck, compliments to Rosalie. My forehead, which once held gory cuts, now fashioned barely noticeable, pink lines. I felt a bit smug, having healed them myself. Though it wasn't something I was planning to attempt again any time soon. The feeling had been _excruciating_, to a point where I thought I'd loose my sanity.

I turned in a would-be golf swing, to get a view of my neck. "Ew." It was an awful color; dark purple with green edges, and oddly shaped into the folds of a large hand. _That Emmet needs some anger management classes._ As long as I didn't touch it, it was ok. I silently thanked the Moon for the rainy weather outside. Wearing a turtleneck would be less conspicuous.

A part of me expected Edward to be here. I wished he were. I also would have liked an update on how his family was digesting the event. I'd hate to think, that he had to watch his back from his siblings, now that I was in his life. I longed to talk to him, but what was the point? I didn't even have his phone number. Ridicules.

_EDWARD!_ I mentally roared, perhaps he was close enough to hear me.

_EDWARD, GET YOUR SEXY BEHIND OVER HERE! _

Nope, nothing.

I decided to go hunt to restore my strength to its usual. Edward would show up eventually. He always did somehow. I was on my way downstairs when I saw a note on my desk. It was written in a flawless, slanting handwriting.

- - - - -

Good morning Princes,

I'll be home. Some things need to be straightened out. We'll talk tonight when you're back from the Quileutes. Remember their anger issues. Watch your back and look out for your mother.

Be safe.

- - - - -

A smile glazed my face.

Downstairs I found a second note on the kitchen table. This time it was written in _my_ handwriting. I must have been really out of it, for I didn't remember writing it.

- - - - -

Mom,

I'm not feeling too good. Let me sleep in tomorrow so I'll be okay to meet the Quileutes.

Love,

Vivian.

- - - - -

Edward wrote it. My mom and I loved each other to death, but I wouldn't have ended my note with 'love'. We were less outspoken on that subject. Apparently it had still fooled her.

My hand rested on the backdoor when yet another distraction occurred. The phone rang. I went to answer it, hoping for Edward. He would have found a way to get my number. He always seemed to get his way with things. I took the phone form the receiver.

"Edw-"

"Praise the Moon! Someone's home!" an old, carrying voice exclaimed.

"Aunt Persia?"

"My child, listen carefully. I am hindered. I shall arrive the next time the Goddess will look upon us," she spoke in a hurried, mysterious voice. I knew she was the Priestess of the Moon and all, but couldn't she just say 'Hey babe. Can't make it. See ya in a month'?

"Ok, I'll tell mom." It was convenient that she called; I needed answers, and if anyone could give them, she would. "I have a question. Yesterday, I had a head injury, and when I tried to heal myself I- "

"Oh, no," she gasped. "No, no, no, no, no, no."

_Ok… got it._

"No. My child, you must _never_ attempt that again! You were not born with the Moon's power, like I was. Your body is unsuited!" Hearing those words was like receiving a smack in the face. _The moon had given it to me. Surely she would want me to use it? Develop it?_

Aunt Persia continued, "and I think it is safe to say, that the amount of white hair is a measurement for the Moon's magic. Esmé informed me you have just _one_ lock. You do _not_ hold the strength to heal!" Her words hit me like a blow in the gut. "Your mind and body will cave in. You will surely die!"

_K.O._

"Oh…" was all I could think to say.

"We will meet – when the Goddess will look upon us again – and I will…"

A quiet moment passed. Something didn't feel right.

"Aunt Persia?"

"Goodbye," she said hastily.

I was left holding a dead line.

* * *

I circled the forest floor once, testing the ground. I laid down with my head on my paws. I had managed to track a wild bore. Having eaten a large part of it, I found my strength returning. My body was calm and regenerating, to the contrary of my mind. 

_Why did Aunt Persia cut the conversation like that? _I'd always known her to be polite. Surely she could tell me what she was planning to on arrival? No doubt it would involve me. But it couldn't have been too important, for apparently it could wait another month.

And yes, fighting Rosalie had been life-threatening. Even Emmet had come too close for comfort, but only now did I realize, how narrowly I had escaped death. The sensation of trying to heal had been beyond horrible, painfully overwhelming. _Was that how it would feel to die? Was that how my father had felt?_ I hoped with all my heart it wasn't the case.

I worried about Edward and his family. I worried about the Quileute meeting and Aunt Persia's words. I decided to head home and take a scolding shower. The water would soak up my questions, my worries, and it would all swivel down the drain.

* * *

I looked through the kitchen window. The amber sun was silently sinking in the murky sky. The clouds prevented the pink beams from warming my face. Those same clouds would be diluting silver rays in a few minutes. Clear skies never lasted long in Forks, but it was preferable now. The moonlight would be less direct. 

"Mom, are you done yet? Jacob will be here any second," I said at normal volume. Mom was in her room flirting with different outfits.

"Viv honey, hold on to something because _this,_ is The Chosen One!" She descended the stairs flaunting a red tube dress in the best of spirits. It clung to her curves and barely covered enough leg that would justify sitting down decently. Though, with the grace of wolf, she managed to pull it off.

I was wearing the only dress I had with a turtleneck - a scarf would be too risky. It was ankle-length, white, with an intricate flower pattern. The colors complimented the wavy hair that fell down my shoulders. It wasn't too formal, just right for a first meeting. Now that my color was restored to normal, I looked charmingly beautiful, unlike my provocative mother.

My mom lost centre-stage by a booming sound that encroached the house. I opened the front door while she disappeared for some final touches. An ancient, faded-red truck drove down towards our little house.

Out stepped the tall, well-built Jacob, wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Together with his inky black hair, and dark eyes, it formed an image worth a purr – but not _quite_ rivaling Edward. He walked towards me with more confidence in his stride than I remembered. "If I knew you were going to wear _that_, I would have thrown on something more appropriate." He gave me a pleasant grin.

"Jacob, I'm glad you could come." He was in good spirits, it was infectious. A warm aura radiated from him, or perhaps it was his mere body heat which was above normal, I could feel it on gusts of wind. "Let me just apologies about last Wednesday. I was very tired, but I shouldn't have been that rude."

"I was kind of hoping it was because of that." He gave me a sly smile. "Now, professor Gandillon, where shall we commence our lessons?"

"About that…"

A provocative Esmé materialized next to me. "Hello there," she purred.

_Watch out world, mom's unleashed._

Jacob blinked in surprise. "Hello Miss Gandillon."

"Call me Esmé-" she breathed.

"In other words," I interjected. "Could we go meet your pack instead?"

"Er… I guess, we could do that." He tried to ignore my mum and eyed me. "Warn me next time." I wasn't sure if he referred to my mom or the change in plans. He gave me a look that made me question just how old he really was. His body was that of a developed man, though his eyes seemed to challenge that assumption.

He randomly spurted into the forest. "I'll go tell them. I'll be right back," he called over his shoulder.

My mom and I watched him depart with vacant expressions.

"You do pick strange men Viv," she said while peering at the spot where Jacob entered the woods.

_Why did he leave his car here? Was he just going to jog to the beach, tell them, and come back? He could have used our phone. _

Bare-chested, he reemerged from the woods. The image reminded me too much of a recently lived, unpleasant dream. He threw his shirt over his head and walked to his car, opening the passenger door. We stood unmoving.

"Come on," he prompted.

I slid in next to him. Esmé was going to trail behind with her little red car; so we would have a means of getting home dry. Now that first impressions had worn off, his eyes seemed to linger on my turtleneck, reinterpreting the dress. A baleful frown corrupted his russet brow.

"How are you?" he asked darkly. He didn't start the car, but forced all his attention on me.

"Fine, thanks." I decided to play daft and kept my tone neutral, hoping he wouldn't peruse the subject, and decided it would be best to change it. "How did you inform your pack we were coming?" If he had a mobile he didn't have to go all secretive on us.

He didn't start the engine but looked distrustfully at the collar of my dress. Then he his gaze ascended to me. "Vivian, can we trust you? I'd love to be more at ease with you, but it will be difficult if you'll be sharing with that parasite _friend_ of yours. Do you understand?"

I thought for a second. The more time I spent around this wolf, the more I longed for pack. I had begrudgingly gained Edward's permission; I wouldn't loose him. Surely this could work if I could just keep pack and Edward separated? I desired both, and I happened to be a wolf who pursued her desires. However, discretion was in order; I wouldn't tell these wolves about Edward's little quirks, and it would only be fair to return the favor. "I understand. You have my word."

His dark eyes studied my face. Edward's had only reached that shade when in rage. Perhaps I had started associating the two, for I felt most uncomfortable. Though, to the contrary of what I expected, he seemed satisfied. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze with his unnaturally warm one, and replied to my earlier question, "We can hear each others' thoughts in our wolf-skin. I knew Embry would be out as wolf. So I phased to tell him that I'd be bringing you two over."

_So they could actually communicate in their wolf form?_ _It would allow teamwork, making hunting efficient when out for a vampire._ I stifled a shudder at the thought, and silently thanked the existence of a treaty. "That's pretty cool. Can you block the thoughts out, or do you always hear them while wolf?" I was thinking about Edward and I. Sharing _every_ thought could be quite disturbing.

"No, we can't block them out," he said in a lower tone. I wasn't sure how he felt about the arrangement. It couldn't be too pleasant.

"Oh."

He started the car. A surprisingly noisy engine roared to life.

"Sorry about that," he said, tapping the dashboard, his voice back to normal. He drove off. "My father's been trying to sell this old monster without success. I'm building a car of my own." He gave me a proud look, which allowed him to dwell on a previous concern. "Why are you wearing that dress?" Jacob asked; the underlying tone obvious.

I sensed that he wanted to test how much 'my word' was worth in trust. He gave me information, now he wanted some in return. I wished I could speak freely; prove to him that my trust can be valued. But never at the cost of others…

"Would you rather I'd go naked?" The muscles in his cheeks gave a small jolt. He screened the would-be smile away instantly. "Why did you wear that _specific_ dress?" he rephrased.

"Because I like it."

"Is there another reason?"

_What were the rules of the peace agreement between the Quileutes and Cullens?_ I knew it involved not crossing each other's turf, plus no biting of humans. Or perhaps the treaty already _was_ broken because Rosalie picked a fight with a werewolf. However, I wasn't a Quileute. My pack did not agree to any treaty. This was so confusing…

My answer was taking too long for his liking; it started to show. I had to be honest, start one lie, others would follow.

"Yes, there is another reason," I said slowly.

His hands tightened around the steering wheel, denting it slightly. "Did he bite you?" He suppressed a tremor.

"Calm down." I placed my hand on his shoulder. My touch seemed to help. "No. None of my blood touched their lips." At least that much was true. "But could we leave it at that? Just like I won't share what goes with you, I can't share what goes on while I'm with them. It wouldn't be fair." He wasn't entirely pleased, his furrowed brow told me as much, but my honesty seemed to be worth more. He gave me a kind nod and directed his eyes back to the road.

Jacob turned onto the south-west highway, leading away from Forks, to the cliffs. While he drove I thought about the wolves I was about to meet. Jacob seemed alright – as long as vampires weren't subject of discussion. I could only hope it would to click with them. I knew my mom shared a need to fill the void our previous pack had left behind. Jacob drove past the southernmost house before turning off onto a narrow dirt road. At the end of the lane was a tiny house that had once been grey. There was only one narrow window beside the weathered blue door. The window box under it was filled with flowerpots which held weeds; a hint of long forgotten woman's touch.

Jacob parked on the driveway. My mum filed in next to me as we followed him to the front door. "This is Sam's place, but he'll arrive a bit later."

He opened the door. The front room was mostly kitchen; it was bright with white cupboards and pale wooden floorboards. There was a small fireplace on the right hand side, it seemed like it had been out of practice for a while. On the mantelpiece stood a single photo of a woman with long black hair and kind brown eyes. A steady light was burning through the candle wax in front of it.

In the centre of the room was a wooden kitchen table stacked with a ridiculous amount of prepared food; from hotdogs to slightly underdone chocolate cake. The image was promising; it indicated a large pack. Around the table sat two young men, of which one I recognized as Jared, they directed their eager gazes from the food to us. Another was at the stove, who momentarily stopped flipping burgers to join his friends to stare at my mom and I. His wide chest had a rosebud apron twined around it. I recognized him as Paul. They could easily be brothers; they all looked so similar. They eyed me in appreciation, and also stole quick glances at my mom and her legs.

Jacob pointed to the young man I wasn't yet familiar with. "That's Embry."

"Hey Vivian," he said.

"Hello again," Jared joined with a toothy grin. Apparently I'd been a subject for discussion, for I didn't need any introducing. "Nice that you finally came."

Paul snorted, and flipped another burger. "God knows we need a female around here," he muttered as he threw the flowery apron on the counter. He served the burgers in a bowl and shuffled other food items around to make room for it on the overly filled table.

Jacob introduced my mother who had kicked her flirting down a notch. Perhaps she was saving it all for Sam.

"You'll join us right?" Jacob asked, his chin pointing in the direction of the food heap.

My mom already made her way to an empty chair and delicately slid into it, demanding the eyes of those around her. She then jerked back releasing a strangled little gasp. I rushed to her aid, and spotted the source of distress.

I sharply turned to Jacob. "What's this all about?" _I should have listened to Edward._

"What do you mean? If you're not hungry you don't have to eat," he said confused.

I grabbed a cautious but firm hold of the silver knife, and jutted it in front of his face. "This-" In a reflex, Jacob took my wrist and spun it around, forcing my back to be pressed against his chest. With his fingers he wriggled the knife from my hold.

"What the hell Vivian?" hot breath moved next to my ear. My body echoed the threatening tremor that passed through him. I wasn't exactly in the most favorable position if this wolf lost control. My mom had taken a defensive stance and put on some muscle. She glared from Jacob to the other three alert wolves.

"Silver?" I gasped.

A tense moment passed while I struggled for freedom.

"Is she for real?" Paul asked incredulous.

"They do embrace the cliché don't they?" Jared barked a laugh, Jacob joined in.

"Get your hands off me," I growled.

"Promise to be good?"

"I wasn't going to stab you, you know."

"Sure, sure." He released his hold on me and smoothly spun me around. I glared at him. "We thought it would be a nice gesture."

I took a step back. He was too close for comfort. Edward had mentioned that silver didn't bother the werewolves he'd fought. Could it be that they were simply oblivious? _Impossible._ "You were going to eat hotdogs with silverware?"

He shrugged. "You didn't exactly give us time to prepare _aux cuisine_. And as I said, we thought it would be a nice gesture."

* * *

AN: The title 'To Heal, or Not to Heal' is an allusion to Shakespeare's _Hamlet_ [Act III, Sc. I, the line 'To be, or not to be' which roughly translated means 'Do I want to live any longer?' 


	16. Beautiful Soul

**AN: Under **_**Blood and Chocolate **_**we've passed 100 reviews! I can't express how thrilled I am! Thank you all. I appreciate each and every one of them. **

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I took a step back. He was too close for comfort. Edward had mentioned that silver didn't bother the werewolves he'd fought. Could it be that they were simply oblivious? _Impossible._ "You were going to eat hotdogs with silverware?"

He shrugged. "You didn't exactly give us time to prepare _aux cuisine_. And as I said, we thought it would be a nice gesture."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 16 – Beautiful Soul

The atmosphere within the kitchen had turned to somewhat normal, but only after Emby had removed the silverware and Jacob apologised in name of his pack. The pack… about that, apparently it wasn't as large as we expected – just these four, plus their leader Sam. The Taj Mahal of food seemed only barely sufficient to feed the four Quileutes. Paul initially looked rather dejected about having to share it with two additional wolves, but rejoiced once more when he discovered we ate a mere 'human' amount.

"So where is Sam?" Mom asked subtly.

"Olympia. But it's not too far, he should be back within an hour." Jacob said and stuffed half a hamburger down his throat.

She smiled a polite, but unconvincing smile.

"Today Harry told me he was running out of fish," Embry announced to his mates with faux grumbles. "I guess we'll _have_ to go fishing again."

"Pity," Jared chimed in.

"Come with us," Jacob cheered, and amicably draped his hand around my shoulder – it pressured my bruise. I tried to conceal my wince discreetly. However, Jacob didn't miss it. His face fell and he removed his arm.

I covered the situation by replying normally. "Fishing? Sorry, but that's not really my thing."

Embry rolled his eyes. "It's not like we use rods or something. It'll be fun."

"I'll get back to you on that ok?" They consented and we exchanged phone numbers.

The Quileutes were all in an animated discussion about silver and moonlight with Esmé, while I was writing my mobile number for the fourth time to hand it to Jacob. Suddenly he flared up from my scribbling with the most curious expression; his mouth was slightly ajar, his eyes wide and hopeful. It confused me. I therefore failed to anticipate his next move. He swiftly arched his hand around me, and with one finger he pressed on the back of my neck. I cringed in pain and slapped his face – with force – in outrage. The smack reverberated around the kitchen, and drew the attention of the others. Jacob recoiled, but to the contrary of what I expected, he looked relieved.

"Wow," Jared gaped and nudged Paul. "Her temper's worse than yours." He shook with laughter. Jacob joined carelessly while rubbing his cheek, his expression was elated.

"Vivian, what's up with you?" Mom asked, half worried, half frustrated with my behaviour.

Rationality dawned on me a little too late; it would have been wiser to just ignore the pain and pretend there was none. This would – and already did - raise questions. But apart from that, Jacob was being intentionally annoying, he deserved it. Even when I tried to inflict some pain on him, he seemed happy about it. That was even _more_ annoying. Was the moron masochistic?

I squinted my eyes at him. "Keep your hands off me wolf-boy."

The three wolves stared at Jacob, then at each other and all sputtered "Wolf-boy!" and erupted in laughter once more.

_What__ for Moon's sake is so damn funny?_ I closed my eyes and took an unsatisfying deep breath; the air was oppressive. I truly missed Edward. Yes, he was weird, but at least I could understand the vampire. The irony…

"I'm going for a walk." And slid out the door.

It was surprisingly chilly outside. I welcomed it. The lack of blazing Quileutes must be the reason for the temperature difference. Perhaps that was _exactly_ the reason why I welcomed it. Even though I was now with pack, I felt oddly out of place. _Was it me? Had Edward prejudiced me too much? Or had they been prejudiced by having seen me with him? _

Longing to feel like myself again, I kicked off my shoes and let my bare soles bend the moist grass. What a lovely sensation. Leisurely, I took a few steps away from the house, carefully avoiding the overhanging trees - although there were grey and silver clouds in the sky, the dispersed moonlight was still stronger in the open.

I elevated my head, and shut my eyes. Silently rejoicing in the scattered light and the calming, yet empowering quality it held. I used my gift to look for Edward. I could only see clouds where his house should be. I searched for my own – he said he'd drop by tonight. However, all I was presented with was vast splotchy white. I took another deep breath of pure air. An immeasurable moment passed, and stopped being immeasurable by…

"What are you doing?" a husky voice questioned from behind.

Preferably, I wouldn't have been interrupted in my brief moment of peace, but the Moon's graces didn't allow me to pair agitation with the interruption. I _did_ want to remain blind to the world. For the briefest moment, I allowed my lips to move. "Shut up Jacob. Take off your shoes. Come stand next to me."

After a few seconds, I heard shoes come undone, followed by soft, approaching footsteps. There was a positive shift in temperature on my left. I didn't know if he had adapted the same stance, by facing the moon, but I didn't want to open my eyes to check. It would ruin the magic surrounding us. After a long moment, I felt him take my hand. I would have shrugged him off, but his large hand felt confusingly pleasant… Plus, it prevented my body from cooling down too much.

After a while he softly asked, "Is this part of my lesson?"

I turned to look at him. I didn't have to change the angle of my head – he was so tall. His face didn't show any signs of mockery or cocky laughter, it almost surprised me. His expression was open, younger somehow. Even though his previous behaviour didn't earn him any favours, I still felt a tug of pain at having to tell him.

"I'm really sorry Jacob," I tried to channel my sincerity at him. "But I can't give you lessons."

He frowned, and by doing so, he aged again. "The bloodsucker told you not to?"

I joined him by frowning at his use of words. "It was a kind request."

Our hands disconnected. "Do you always do what you're told?" he scorned.

"I want him to be happy," I explained. He snorted. "He's been through more than you know. And he's been pretty nice about this whole affair. _He _suggested me coming to meet you."

He barked a sardonic laugh. "But that's just how they work! Vampires, they trick and cheat!" His words spilled from him in a frenzy. "They are selfish things. Don't you see he's already curbing you from what you want to do?"

I thought back to yesterday morning, Edward seemed so full of torment when he suggested this meeting. And he had expressed immediate joy when he heard I'd slammed the door in Jacob's face… I had no doubt Edward could possess all the flair of a skilled actor, but my instincts never failed on me before. Jacob was wrong. And the way he had taken care of me last night! He had even fought his own kind, his _brother _no less, to protect… me. I had even seen the – at that time – scarred tissue to prove it.

Jacob was still vocally spitting anger. I'd better calm him soon. "He'll trick you into believing he's a nice guy. He'll tell you lies on how beautiful you are. Then turn on your own ki-"

"Lies on how beautiful I am?" I interrupted.

"Yes! And-"

"Lies on how beautiful I am?" I raised my eyebrows.

He puckered his brow and then took a sharp breath. "Oh no, you're very pretty of course. I didn't mean…" I couldn't stop my lips from twitching. He groaned and threw his hands in the air. "Women…"

I laughed and was relieved to see that he joined me.

"Look Jacob, I understand what you're trying to tell me. But I doubt anything that you say will stop me from spending time with him." He wanted to interrupt, but I raised my hand. "Even _if_ something would go wrong, it's not like I'll turn into a vampire. And I severely doubt he'd ever allow something life threatening to happen to me. I have my own reasons to trust him."

He moved his hand through his hair and bit his upper lip. "Does it have to do with what you're hiding on your neck?"

I bit my bottom lip. "Yes."

"Will you show it to me?"

"No. This gossamer doesn't stretch that way. It's just a small bruise. And Edward prevented whatever caused it from it becoming more than a bruise." I felt like I was tripping over my own tongue. "Now can we stop talking about vampires, because I don't like this thing we've got happening here." I waved my hand at him in a zigzag motion. He grumbled but there was amusement in it.

"So," I started. "Tell me a little bit about yourself and your pack." _Anything to change the subject. _

In an unspoken action, our feet started moving. We commenced walking through the forest, abandoning the moonlight. He took a dramatic breath and started. "Once upon a time… there was a little kid named Jacob Black."

"Little?"

"Yes, this thing here," he waved his hand at himself in zigzag motion, "hasn't always been happening." I grinned. "Jacob Black enjoyed his ignorant, monster-free life. But he wasn't as free of it as he assumed… Around the age of sixteen he underwent a massive growth spurt and stopped ever feeling cold. Then one day, in his peaceful life, his father, Billy Black forgot to pick up his favourite chocolate pudding from the supermarket." He smiled, but his eyes portrayed an opposite emotion. "Then our boy here, got so angry, that he was no longer a boy. But a wolf, and nearly killed his father."

At that point, he abandoned his third tense, and stared unseeingly ahead of himself. He told me how he had loathed what he had become. How he had been afraid of himself – for anger was a knee-jerk reflex away from unleashing 'the beast' in him. He explained how Sam took him in, how he refers to them all as 'brothers' now. And that he had become good at everything he did, and the additional newfound speed, and strength. He told me Sam went through the change first, and had no help. The respect in his voice was clear when he spoke of him. He had helped Jacob, and the other Quileutes, with controlling their anger so far. Jacob reluctantly admitted that he was getting better at it, and that lessons from me weren't 'vital'.

During our forest walk, I saw a different side of Jacob. There seemed to be more to him than I initially assumed. He became a bit withdrawn talking about – what according to him – were his flaws. But he really wasn't all that bad. At one point his train of thoughts ambled towards the Cullen family. I immediately changed subject. It wouldn't be beneficial for him, or me.

He told me of his 'still human' friend Quill, how he would be joining them soon; the signs of growth spurt and high body temperature were there already. He seemed rather sad about it. He had hoped the best for his friend's fate and didn't think that 'werewolf' was registered under that heading.

"So you're not happy with what you are?"

He shrugged. "I think I'm still getting used to it. It's been only two months for me. The more I can control my phasing, the better I feel about it. But… I had almost killed my father… over chocolate pudding." He shook his head. "It scares the hell out of me."

I rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him. By this time, we had made it back to the grey house. There was an additional car outside. I saw my Esmé through the front window, pouring wine for Sam. Mom was so beautiful at this level of happiness. The sight made me long for Edward. I desired to go home, he might be there already. But I wasn't going to end mom's moment of joy.

I made a small but natural yawn and turned to Jacob. "It's late. Would you mind if we call it a night?"

"You can call it whatever you want to," he mocked, but he seemed a bit put down.

"You're lame."

"I couldn't be lame even if I tried."

"I thought you could do everything now," I taunted.

"Everybody has a flaw," he simply said.

I raised an eyebrow. "And yours is not being able to be lame?"

"Yes." He smiled at that.

I rolled my eyes. "Tell Sam I said hi." I jumped through the first layer of trees. In two simple motions, I stripped myself from dress and underwear, and threw them on Esmé's car. I was careful that my hair covered the bruise on my neck in case Jacob was still watching. My nails grew, my legs popped, a sweet pain accompanied the lengthening of my spine. I felt glorious in my fur. And if they thought I 'embraced the cliché' then I wouldn't want to live down the title. I howled, and happily ran off North-East.

For ten minutes I ran faster than the wind. The thought of Edward made me giddy, knowing I'd be moments away from seeing that absurdly handsome face I loved. I saw my house through the trees and darted around it to face my room. The balcony door was open and his scent filled my mind. I jumped as wolf, but changed rapidly in the air, and landed inside in a bare crouch. I saw him leaning casually against my closet, an easy but relieved smile on his face. I was so full of joy, that I flung myself at him, and showered him with kisses.

He laughed in pleasant surprise. "I know I'm not the worst with my looks, but till this day, I couldn't have claimed that a naked woman had thrown herself at m-" I silenced him by kissing him on the lips. It was a magnificent sensation – his cold, satin lips moving with mine, wiping all thoughts from my mind.

We stood there for a minute, drinking in each others' presence. Then while wrapping my bed sheets around me, he asked "How did the meeting go?" I smiled. _Always the gentlemen_. I would have objected if I didn't have some questions myself.

"Well…" I looked up at him teasingly. Edward lifted me up and placed me on the bed, he positioned himself next to me. "You know, I can walk myself."

"But where would be the fun in that?"

"Where indeed," I said dryly. But then slid back to my joyous mood. "I wouldn't have returned to you without having something amusing to tell." He waited. "You remember how happy you were when I said I slammed the door in Jacobs face?"

"Yes…" he lowered his head but kept his eyes on mine.

"Well, I now _slapped_ him in the face, but only after having held a knife to it."

He laughed louder than I heard him do before. It was a bell like echo, impossible not to be enchanted by it. He ruffled my hair. "Are you building up to something? Or shall I finish the job for you?" There was desire in his carefree tone.

"It's ok. I can handle it. It was just a misunderstanding and him being frustrating. But they're not that bad."

He nodded.

"And…" I shifted uncomfortably. He noticed. "How was your day?" I hoped his family didn't take their anger out on Edward for bringing a werewolf over.

He dropped his gaze and smiled ruefully.

I gulped. "What do they think of me?"

"Esme couldn't care less if you had a third eye and webbed feet. She just wants to see me happy." I had a feeling he was saving the worst for last. "Carlisle was furious with Rose, but still understanding. I believe she told you how she was killed?"

It's not that I would forget any time soon. A wolf, like me, had killed her family. Rosalie only half survived because Carlisle changed her. "Yeah," I whispered.

"Don't feel bad," he said appalled. Sometimes it was frustrating how easily he could read my face. "It's not your fault at all." Though he did give me a curious glance. "Jasper was a bit strained, the emotions in the house were a lot to bare and control. Alice was worried about him, but she likes you. She sees that my future remains fuzzy and therefore knows that ours are connected." His expression was unreadable.

"And Emmet… has been doing an awful lot of thinking. It even surprised him." Edward chuckled. "He keeps switching between disapproval of Rose's actions, and anger towards you for making his wife suffer."

"How is she?" I wasn't sure how I felt towards her, obviously not a best friend, nor someone to be trusted. But she played a role in Edward's life.

Edward screened his face from emotion, and replied with the air of a newsreader rather than a brother, or an angry boyfriend. "You chewed her fingers up pretty bad. They couldn't be reattached to her hand. And because the skin heals faster than the bone can grow, she had to keep the wound open with her teeth during the night."

"_Yikes_!" No wonder Jasper had trouble with emotions. Rosalie must have been pretty upset. I knew Edward was keeping it lighter than it really was, not to make me feel bad. I felt sorry for what I did, knowing the extend of her suffering. I had to be above such savage behaviour. If she resorted to killing as solutions to her problems, I would defend myself. But it shouldn't be more than that. I can't allow myself to get caught up in the damage, like I had by chewing her fingers. Be effective, but without bloodlust. Otherwise it would only justify the image she had of me. I had to be above that. This struggle would end here.

"I'll apologise to her," I said with conviction.

He blinked in surprise and studied my face for a moment. My determination did not waver. He stroked my hair and held my cheek. He didn't speak or move after that, his ochre eyes oddly soft.

"You're being weird," I told him.

"I'm sorry. You have a beautiful soul, Vivian." He saw my confused expression and shook his head. "You were willing to risk your life for me the second day we met. Now you want to apologise for defending yourself to the person who deceived, and wanted to murder you. And your own bruises haven't even healed yet." He let his hand rest lightly on my neck, the cold was comforting. We were quiet for a second.

"In any case," he said, awaking from his reverie. "You won't be doing any apologising anytime soon. It wouldn't be healthy in any way, for you two to be together. Let her cool down a bit."

He wrapped my arms around me and breathed in my scent. I mimicked the movements. He chuckled. "On Sunday, will you be able to go out?" he threw in casually. Too casual in my opinion, it made me suspicious.

"Yes…" Tomorrow, Saturday, would be full moon. Sunday I wouldn't have to be wolf. "Why?"

"No reason. Are you tired?"

"No," I answered truthfully. I had slept half the day.

"Feel like a swim?" He grinned wickedly.

I looked through the open balcony, the clouds weren't as thick anymore. "Would you mind if I run as wolf?"

The wickedness left his smile and he kissed my forehead. "Whatever you are comfortable with."

"Alright then," I shrugged. While keeping my blanket around me, I located my bikini and stuffed it down one of the pockets of his pants. "But be prepared for a blow on your self-esteem, because I'll be faster than you."

"Keep dreaming," he playfully growled, and literally rose to the challenge. "Ready?"

I went to stand in front of him. While one hand kept the sheets around me, the other slowly made its way through Edward's wild bronze hair. I pulled him closer for another tantalizing kiss. The sheets fell as I used my other hand to push my body against his. Even though he didn't need oxygen, his breathing increased. His hands moved over my waist in a seductive caress. I was getting so caught up that it took all my self-control to turn around, and fly out of the balcony door. With the moon that prominent, I managed to phase completely, well before meeting the forest ground on all fours.

Edward lingered for a dumbfounded, unnecessary second, before following in pursuit. He appeared beside me, while I weaved through the forest. "Cheat," he muttered.

* * *

AN: Some of you may argue that a few of Vivian's choices are out of character in this chapter. But I would have to disagree. This is my take on Vivian when she would be exposed to a different environment which holds different people. And her character isn't flat, but develops over time. So far I haven't been drastic, but I still thought, I ought to explain myself. 


	17. Vicini Vicini

AN: When I've posted this chapter, I'll have updated my profile with pictures of the event.

Savour the length my friends.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

His hands moved over my waist in a seductive caress. I was getting so caught up that it took all my self-control to turn around, and fly out of the balcony door. With the moon that prominent, I managed to phase completely, well before meeting the forest ground on all fours.

Edward lingered for a dumbfounded, unnecessary second, before following in pursuit. He appeared beside me, while I weaved through the forest. "Cheat," he muttered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 17 – Vicini Vicini

_Damn, that boy can__ run!_ In the past it was common knowledge that I was one the swiftest of the old pack. I outran the other bitches by far. _Were all vampires this agile?_

He was running parallel to me. Occasionally he took the lead, but then I forced my heated limbs further and pushed my muscles harder once more to reclaim my position next to him. When I could afford to, without impairing my speed, I shot glances at him – I might be wolf, but he resembled a lion. Not that he used his arms, but the exact manner his body sleeked past curving trees, the technique of how his feet barely brushed the live ground. I drank in the sight of him, _fascinating_.

The Edward I encountered on a daily bases was well composed and… remotely human. So far I'd been allowed a mere glimpse of the vampire within him – when he had encountered the Quileutes in the forest. With his ferocious black glare; empty of colour, full of emotion. The glorious stance he had assumed had enchanted me, yet the alarming situation had prevented me from dwelling on it.

I turned my head once more to look at him, he met my gaze. His hair was pushed back by the wind. He wasn't grinning or smiling. But through his eyes, and the relaxed muscles of his jaw, I sensed… freedom. No rejection of his vampire self, yet no suppression of his ancient human side either.

Now a smile did pull at the corner of his lips. "I'm impressed," he said. "You're pretty fast for a werewolf, or girl." I growled at him. He laughed and pushed faster still. I couldn't judge by his breathing – which remained slow and rhythmic – but I could sense this was his pretty much his maximum.

We would reach the lake in mere seconds. Edward was ahead of me. To my right I saw a fallen tree approach, slanting upwards. I took my chance and ran to its top, and pushed off. The old bark groaned under the pressure.

I flew through the air, and by doing so, I saved an infinitely small amount of time by not having to avoid shrubs and trees. Airborne, I saw the lake in its full glory; the sky was different shades of grey due to the prominent, but concealed moon. In an odd amount of places, rays managed to break through the mantle and reflect on the glossy water. The hills on either side were absent of their green, and appeared black. I lithely landed in front of the crystal water, just before Edward could reach it.

"You're not satisfied with_ four_ legs? Opting for wings now?" he rebuked, but still impressed at my alternative method.

I barked a laugh and wagged my tail. I wanted to tease him about loosing and therefore started to let my fingers lengthen, nails shorten, fur and ears retract… In the process I saw Edward staring at me, his face was indecipherable. _Why could he always read mine so well, while I failed at interpreting his?_

I was now in my human shape, crouched on the pebbles. Through my waves of hair I chanced a glance at him. He was smiling now and handed me my bikini. And I vaguely heard his clothes fall on the ground.

I thought back to his previous expression. I was so desperate to know what he thought of my wolf-skin, so desperate to know if he could appreciate it, if he could ever love me – that I found myself unable to phrase the words to ask.

I tied the blue bikini and saw him still smiling at me. He was wearing swimming trunks himself and looking more delicious than anybody had a right to. The white shade of his skin complimented the array of grey and inky sky, the blacks and patches of silver moonlight on the lake. The ochre eyes did not relate to any other hue in my vision, and magnetically held my attention. He approached me attentively, taking slow steps.

Perhaps he was aware of the alien creature he was, but could he not comprehend the magnificence of it? I enclosed the remaining distance and we met in an embrace. His skin was cold against mine, but not unwelcome. Cool breath curved around my neck. _How delightful._

"You enjoy flying, do you?" he said to my skin.

"Huh?" I was still mentally occupied with his breath. He scooped me in his arms and softly kissed me.

"I'll give you wings," he whispered. I had no idea what he was talking about, but it was all fine with me. Until he tossed me in the air with inhuman strength. Under me I saw Lake Crescent rapidly approaching.

"You'll pay for this!" I managed to scream before breaking the flawless surface of the water.

* * *

There was something hissing in my room. I truly wished it would go away. It was too early to get up. Even though I was unconsciously glad to miss Edward declare himself a monster, or even escape the demonic fires of the Gandillon Inn. I'd been out all night, and wakefulness was one item I couldn't compete with when Edward was my opponent. He had offered to carry me home. Though, I naturally declined. I'd feel more comfortable if he didn't take care of me so much. 

The whispers continued. Some part of me heard it, but I was still way too drowsy to process the words.

"You must be joking!" a velvet voice hissed.

"Oh, there are only a few things I would never joke about. This is one of them," a petit voice urged.

"It will have to wait," the deeper voice commanded. "She's exhausted."

"Are you not comprehending what I'm trying to tell you?! There is only so much time left! I was thinking about Seattle, but Paris seems like a far wiser option. The thing is, I can't see…"

"Forget it."

I moaned, whatever was making the noise prevented me from accomplishing good sleep. There was a rush of air above me. Resigning from slumber, I opened my eyes. I gasped and was about to scream when Edward's hand silenced me for a moment.

"You'll wake up your mom," he said to me with an apologetic look in his eyes. Then he turned sharply to glower at Alice, whose face was hovering two inches above mine, her teeth exposed in a wide smile. "Happy now?" he growled.

"Very," she chimed. "Hi Vivian, did you sleep well?"

I was too dazed to function. "Did I?" I mumbled and looked to Edward, who shook his head.

"Oh, lighten up you grump." She delicately folded herself on the opposite side of my bed and took out a notepad and pen. Edward sighed and sat himself down on my desk chair.

"Vivian," Alice said. Her expression was awfully grave. I gulped. "Are you a sparkly person?"

I stared at her. _I must still be sleeping_. "Sorry?"

She repeated her question, announcing every syllable with extra care. _Did she mean 'sparkly' like Edward? She must know I'm not a vampire._ When I didn't answer, she looked at Edward with a curious expression.

"No," Edward said, answering her unspoken question.

"Vivian, snap out of it," Alice demanded. "You need a dress, and I need to know your personality, because I can't see if you will like what I buy. Now… are you a sparkly person? Do you like glitter? Or soft fabrics? What're your favourite colours? Prefer dark or bright? Sexy or conservative? I NEED TO KNOW!" she gasped.

Wow, and I thought Edward had energy. I mentally recapped and answered "Depends on my mood, no, yes, red, green, and black, depends on my mood, sexy."

"You can call me Alice." She winked and it took me an extra second to get her joke. _How early was it?_ For a short moment, she scribbled furiously on her notepad, then launched her following set of questions. During my interrogation Edward remained motionless. Though, he too, listened with interest to my responses. The whole process lasted no longer than a minute. Then she got up with vast determination and opened my closet to silently inspect my clothes.

She returned to my bed while shaking her head and patted mine twice. "There, there, I'm here now," she said patronisingly. She straightened up and changed her voice to a lower, fuller tone. "I will guide you from your valley of darkness. Fear no evil, for _I will find you a dress!_"

She kissed my cheek and gracefully bounced out through the balcony. "Thank you for the challenge!" she called after her.

"S't alright if I sleep now?" I asked Edward.

His arm snaked around me and pressed me to his chest. "Yes, that tiny monster won't bother us until she returns from Paris." I didn't even consider his answer, it was too ludicrous.

I inhaled the scent of his skin and relaxed my mind. "What d'need a dress for?" I mumbled.

He sighed. "Sunday evening." He immediately started humming my ballad, the low tremors of his voice, and the soft vibration of it in his chest were irresistible.

* * *

I was enjoying the hot torrents of water on my skin. Tonight, Sunday evening, was a night with promise. 

Full moon had come and went. My mom and I had gone running together. It took a while to convince Edward that I'd rather not have him around at full moon. It's more difficult to govern my actions rationally. At full moon I surrender myself to my senses; the smells, the feel of the woods, the call of the moon… whether I want to or not.

Afterwards, I often can't _exactly_ recall what happened; just that I had felt happy, free. I wouldn't want Edward to think that I was an _animal_ – not that I could perceive something so beautiful in that way. But perhaps… it would be one description of my actions. Esmé didn't ask Sam to come along for the same reason.

Edward had shrugged it all off, saying it would be interesting rather than repelling. However, it was _me_, who wasn't comfortable yet. He understood.

In that conversation I had also informed him of Aunt Persia's phone call. I smiled at the memory. Perhaps I could have told him differently…

"You nearly made me kill myself," I had told him casually.

Edward's body went rigid. "No…" His face looked like a sledgehammer had hit him in the head. "What happened?"

"Well, I was just lying there, at Lake Crescent – bleeding a bit, minding my own business… Along comes Edward, 'Why don't you heal yourself.'" When I had explained the full story, he seemed horrified, and would like to talk to Aunt Persia himself – if there were no objections. I had promised him that would be fine.

I turned off the hot water and wrapped my bathrobe around me. I was now officially ready for my date with Alice, before I'd be passed on to have a date with Edward. He was taking me out to dinner, ridiculous if you ask me, for I would be the only one ordering. He seemed excited about it, I wouldn't dare decline.

I heard my mom shuffling around the house. Edward had strategically left before she arrived. My mom wasn't fooled though – scent is difficult to mask. But she didn't seem to care too much that the house 'reeked' of Edward. I hadn't seen her this happy in months. I felt so good to see her brimming with lust for life. My father would never be forgotten, but Sam was having a wonderful effect on her.

"So everything went well with Sam?" I had raised my eyebrows twice, childishly implying something more.

"Great Moon," she had sighed. "Have you seen that wolf." A low purr had left her. "Remember how I thought there wouldn't be any competition? Try competing with a dead wife! Anyway, at least we have something in common." She had smiled sadly and left for the supermarket. She didn't return for two hours. No doubt it was confusing for her on several levels.

_PRRRRRING!_ It was the sound I came to recognise as our doorbell. While I dried my hair I heard my mom opening the door.

"Hello misses Gandillon. My name is Alice," a polite bell-like voice chimed.

"Are you a vampire?" Mom demanded, disgusted. _Dear Moon, I'd better get downstairs._

"Yes ma'am," still polite.

"If you _ever _hurt my daughter in _any _way, I'll personally hunt you down and tear you apart. And I'll take the Quileutes with me," she snarled. "And pass the message on to that sneaky brother of yours."

"I wouldn't hurt my friends," Alice said with conviction, though a little less friendly this time.

"Mom! What the _hell _are you doing?" I raved at her and went to stand next to Alice. This was unjust.

"Just trying to make something clear," she said in a voice that now dripped with sweetness. "So there will be no confusion about it in the future. But _do_ come in."

I glared at my mother when I passed her, taking Alice by the hand, up to my room.

"I'm sorry for my mom's behaviour," I told her sincerely in the confines of my bedroom.

Alice waved the matter away. "Oh, please. Was the reception Rosalie gave you so much better?" I chuckled. "I thought it would be better to ring the bell. Your mom would know through scent and sound if I come through the balcony. Now… wait here for _one_ moment! I'll be right back." She hopped gleefully out of the balcony before I could ask her where she was going.

Immediately she reappeared, resembling a bulging Christmas tree; covered with plastic, and paper bags, and three stylish hats on her head. My jaw dropped. She placed the items lightly around my room.

"Alice…"

She held up her index finger. "The moment is not over yet." And again she gracefully departed. She returned with another three hats on her head, but what seized my attention were the four long clothing bags, of which she held the hanger high above her head – Alice was so small. She hung them on my closet door and placed the three hats with their companions on my bed.

She bounced from her left foot to her right, and clapped her hands rapidly so that it resembled a buzz. She was delighting in the awe that I could feel on my face.

"Alice, what did you _do?_" My room was stocked like she had bought an entire boutique. Shopping bags were all over my floor, bed, and desk. "You know I can't accept this."

"Silly Vivian! Of course you will!"

"Why? You haven't _seen_ I will. How can you be so sure? I can't pay for this. And I'll be sixty by the time I've worn each item once." Alright, that was a little exaggeration, but not near to Alice-Cullen-style.

"You'll be the best dressed senior to roam this earth. And no, I haven't _seen_, because you have a furry little problem. But you wouldn't dare not to accept, because you are my friend. And you have given a new meaning to my life! I never had this much fun shopping – let me tell you it was nerve wracking – but what sweet challenge! You must tell me if you like each and every one of them."

"You know… that could take a while." I would have retorted on 'furry little problem', but I was overwhelmed by her gifts and her joy.

"I've got forever," she chimed. "Unfortunately, my grouchy brother will arrive in approximately seventeen minutes and forty-eight seconds. And I still have some magic to work on you." I gulped.

"Now, my dear…" She stood up dramatically. "_This_ is the one I had planned for tonight." She unzipped one of the first of the black clothing bags and turned to stare at me with wide watchful eyes.

It held a long red, strapless dress of a smooth material. It had a scarf-like, even lighter fabric, tied and wrapped around it, passing over the left side where the neck would be, and returning over the right shoulder, all the way down. It danced gently in the breeze.

My lips made the movements of 'wow' but no sound seemed to leave me.

Approximately sixteen minutes and fifty-two seconds later…

"The rose goes here." Alice pointed to a space above my right ear. The rest of my hair had been neatly pinned up. It took most of the time we had for her to tame it.

"What rose?"

_PRRRRRRRRING!!!_

"That's my cue," Alice said and departed swiftly and silently.

I left my room to answer the door. My mom walked out of her room probably with the intention to scare Edward off. But stopped moving when she saw me, her expression was vacant.

"Don't you dare give the same welcome to Edward." I bossed. "I'll pass on the message."

"Where are you going, looking like that?" she asked a little stunned.

"Out for dinner."

"Oh," she said. Esmé didn't move until I made my way downstairs.

When I opened the door I found Edward behind it, with a big-ass bouquet of red roses. He had a smirk on his face, which disappeared immediately when he saw me. He looked very poised, apart from his hair which was wild – just as I liked it. He was clad in a black suit that had a magical effect on his skin. Like a fallen angel had come to take me away, leaving crimson roses for the exchange.

"Alice is forgiven," he muttered and wrapped an arm around me to pull my body down diagonally, giving me a Hollywood kiss. He stroked my cheek with his rose-free hand. "Nobody should be allowed to look this way."

"Now wait a minute," Esmé called. "Don't you two run off before I have a chance to talk with you, Edward." She sneered his name.

"Mom! Enough!" I called over my shoulder, to the direction of her voice.

Edward placed me back in a vertical position. "It's ok," he softly spoke to me.

He turned to face my mom, who was trying to put her most intimidating pose on. "Esmé, I'm well aware how you feel about your daughter dating a bloodsucker. But I can assure you that I care more for her than anybody in this world." I turned from glaring at my mom to glancing at him. _Did he really?_ "And if any harm would come to her, I'd gladly hand myself over to you, so you can personally shred me to pieces."

Esmé cocked her head and smiled pleasantly. "You know kid, you're not half that bad." She laughed.

* * *

Half an hour had passed. We were in Edward's car, sharing amicable conversation. Outside our silver cabin, the streetlights jumped to life to wish its mother sun farewell. I fingered the silken petals of the roses and remembered Alice's bizarre instruction. I would choose one of the finest to put in my hair to do her efforts justice and please Edward. But each flower on its own was a bud of perfection. I took one from the collection, correctly snapped it, and placed it in between the folds of my hair above my right ear. 

My motions did not go unnoticed. I turned to Edward. "What do you think?"

He threw his head back. "Awhooooo," he howled. He lowered his gaze to me, his lips were pulled up at one corner, daring me to bite at his cheekiness.

"You need more practice," I simply said. "That sounded awful." He laughed. "Where are you taking me anyway?"

"To _Vicini Vicini_, un grande restorante Italiano!" He said in flawless Italian. I wondered when he'd lived there. "It is their opening night today. In a modest town called Shelton, close to Olympia. We're almost there."

_Olympia_, the name sounded familiar. I wondered where I'd heard that before.

Edward turned from the 101 Highway. He was now driving to a large source of light, commotion, and excited chatter. He stopped in front of the entrance, the red carpet extended right outside of my door. Above the large wooden entrance there was a metal sign, lit from within, containing the words 'Vicini Vicini'. A neatly dressed gentleman opened the door for me. When I elegantly stepped out of the car, a few intakes of breath followed. An unknown boy parked the Volvo for us. When Edward joined me, those same lungs took another hale of air.

"I want to pop them," I said to Edward, referring to all the blown up humans.

"Be good," Edward smiled. Together we walked down the carpeted isle and stood in the entrance of a most majestical room.

We entered from the south-side. The room was heavily carpeted, apart from the large dance floor in the centre. North, there was a large bar of mahogany wood, and highly polished, golden stools. East, there was a stage where four violinists were playing Vivaldi's III Allegro. There were also other instruments on this stage; a harp, trumpets, saxophones, flutes, drums, and a fantastic white grand piano. From the looks of it Edward would be feasting on music, while I'd be feasting on an extra rare stake. The remaining space of the room was filled with white clothed tables and humans drinking merrily and enjoying their appetisers.

"Name?" A young man requested, eying us in appreciation – me especially.

"Cullen," Edward answered slightly stern.

"Ah, yes." The man suddenly turned his eyes from me to his list. "Follow me please." He led us to one of the finest seats within the large room. I wasn't used to all this luxury. The unfamiliarity felt uncomfortable and enticing. I found the attention the humans were giving us amusing. Edward and I must look like quite the couple.

We took our seats. "Hmmm," Edward frowned.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I wished those people would stop thinking of you." He said broodingly.

"What are they thinking exactly?" Being well aware, but just aiming to tease him a bit.

He sighed. "The usual."

Our waiter arrived. Edward ordered some red wine for us. And I ordered a rare stake. I didn't have to see the menu – I wasn't in the mood for anything else, though it wasn't full moon anymore. I was aware that it was prominent. Edward ordered pizza margarita, something that is mysteriously found on all menus worldwide. For him it would serve as a prop, just like his lunch did at school.

Our wine was served. The music had ceased, the musicians were most likely on a little break. Edward took his half full glass in his palm and swirled the red liquid around pensively. He lifted his gaze to me. His golden eyes seemed oddly lucent, like I could make out the shape of his soul through them.

"You know Vivian, when I was talking to your mother earlier this evening, I wasn't dishonest."

"That you would let her kill you if I get harmed?"

He mustered a half-smile. "Yes, that. And that I care more for you than anything on this earth."

My lips parted a little. _Could it possibly be? Could this magnificent creature feel the same way about me? It was near inconceivable that he could _love_ a girl he once made out to be his 'mortal enemy'._ I listened with all my might.

He continued, "Since you came into my life…"

Some unheard of desire urged me to turn around in the direction of the bar. My mind could no longer absorb Edward's words, because that's when I saw him.

That man… that beautiful man.

He was tall, had white skin, refined hands, full lips, and dark silken hair. His blood colored eyes, so captivating. His aura hit me like a tidal wave, and rolled through by body in an overwhelming shudder. He was absolute perfection wrapped in black smooth fabrics, with a loose white shirt, opened at the top, revealing part of a sculpted chest. Rationality abandoned me. I imagined my nails running over it, my breathing accelerated at the thought. Every cell in my body craved this man.

Our eyes connected through the most seductive leer. He raised one marble hand. His index finger beckoned me. If I weren't seated already, my knees would have given way. _He wants me_. At that moment I was no longer aware of anything within the room, except for _him_. I rose, and took my first steps in his direction, in the most alluring manner I could muster; my hips moving, my eyes demanding his attention. I would claim this man.

Amusement flickered in the dark stranger's lips, and interest flared in those handsome eyes. Edward asked me something, but he no longer held importance for me.

I failed to notice that by demanding the eyes of the dark stranger, numerous human eyes followed likewise. Some petty part in me cried out that what I was doing was wrong, dangerous even. I was grateful that that part was overruled by those smouldering ember eyes, and the desire that surged in me.

I struggled to keep my pace a human as I enclosed the distance between us. _The closer, the better._

"_Vivian, what are you doing?" _Edward mentally pried.

_Go home Edward_. I would tolerate no interruptions. I tried to ignore his meddlesome thoughts as best as I could, for I would dance the wolf's dance with this man. I would not rest until our bare bodies would entwine, defenceless, and silent.

"_Vivian…" _I hardly registered his pained tone. _"He's a vampire. At least… be careful."_

I stood in front of the captivating stranger. There were so many flawless features to take in; it was overwhelming. I wanted to touch each and every one of them, starting with those luscious lips. A stray thought clung to Edward. But it was hard to focus. I decided to try no longer.

"Good evening miss." Another wave hit me. I succumbed to his voice. There was an Italian accent to it.

"Dance with me," I breathed.

Surprise spread across his face for a fraction of a second. Then his expression lightened with new awakened curiosity.

"Well, isn't that interesting?" he mused darkly. His burning gaze caressed my body, and lingered on my neck. "But we would need music."

"_He thinks she's human. Vivian, I'm taking you out of here NOW."_

_Music. _That wasn't the kind of dancing I had in mind. But I was willing to go to any extend to please this man. "Edward can play."

"Is he the dramatic boy storming at you?" His voice was a deep tremble, and soft… I could feel it in my toes.

"Yes."

I felt an intrusive arm around my waist which I recognised as Edward's. But the intervening pull I was expecting never came. Instead, he dropped his arm. The mental murmurs subsided along with it.

"Make it an Argentinean Tango," the vampire said. "As for this dress…" His hand hovered infinitely close – not quite touching – over my waist, down my thighs. Then rapidly tore a vertical line with his sharp fingernail. The split allowed my legs free reign. He took my hand. I closed my eyes for a small moment at his intoxicating touch. "Now, let us dance."

He led me from the bar to the dance floor. Our eyes never disconnected. The sound level in the room hushed. People were no longer talking, or clanking with plates and glasses. They were whispering and pointing at the newly formed, inhumanly beautiful couple, who now separated a few meters apart from one another, on the dance floor.

Abruptly music swelled in the room with a composition so profuse, that even the whispers died.


	18. Green

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He led me from the bar to the dance floor. Our eyes never disconnected. The sound level in the room hushed. People were no longer talking, or clanking with plates and glasses. They were whispering and pointing at the newly formed, inhumanly beautiful couple, who now separated a few meters apart from one another, on the dance floor.

Abruptly music swelled in the room with a composition so profuse, that even the whispers died.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 18 - Green

As the first notes rapidly spilled out of Edward's fingers, I found myself hesitant to move. A small distance away I saw the dark stranger taking elegant, rhythmic steps towards me. By merely looking at the man I felt this extraordinary need for him and an urge to make him the happiest vampire on earth.

'Argentinean Tango' he had said. _Argentinean Tango_… What did I know of such a dance? I'd seen a few dance competitions on television when nothing else could hold my attention. Was that modest knowledge enough for me to dance an uncoordinated tango? That man… those expectant embers in his sockets. I had to try, for him.

I let the preternatural music fill my soul. On the next count of four, I forsook my stillness, and let the grace of wolf guide me. The closer I moved to the stranger, the hungrier I was for him.

We met across the dance floor in a desperate clasp. _At last_ his seductive left hand held my waist, _at last_ his right twined with my left! Our bodies were so close that I was obliterated of all thought. The music instantly became angrier. Its passion was reflected in our dance as we moved as one.

We performed intense and difficult maneuvers in the very core of the majestic room. As the music carried us, we occasionally moved with abrupt speed to emphasise our need. In those moments black and red would fuse together and prey on the parquet floor. At other times we flowed with deliberate slowness, and my weightless dress would sway upon the notes.

Throughout the tango I seized satisfaction from his delight.

When the music was coming to a close, I made one final kick. While one leg was raised, the top of his foot knocked my stationary one from the floor, and lifted me in the air with it. Languorously his face skimmed from my stomach, neck, to my ear, while he let me descend, as the final chord rang intensely in the air. Silence followed, ominous, like a foreboding storm.

"Thank you for that dance, mia donna affascinante" he murmured. "I can't help but wonder, have we met before?" The tremors of his voice blocked out all thoughts, it held such promise. His body was close… I leaned in wanting to claim his lips. Suddenly applause ruptured all around us; awfully loud clapping, whistling, and people crying out in adoration. Its intensity quaked me from the spell. And I wavered in my determination to kiss him, hovering just underneath those peach-colored creations.

"_DESIRE!"_ Edward abruptly and mentally roared. _"Vivian! That's his vampire gift; desire! You have to fight it!"_

_Edward… _

How badly I wanted this kiss, this body, everything! How desperately I wanted to make this man happy.

It dawned on me that Edward had been satisfying his desire for music – greedily, if you ask me. _I didn't see you trying so hard_, I thought to him. I once again had to acknowledge the pull of this man, his hands burning through the thin veil of my dress.

"_I didn't know then.__"_

I looked up in the stranger's eyes. They were curious and never left me. They had followed my every move, my every expression with delight and interest. I moved an inch closer to him.

"_Fight it Vivian! I'm going to take you away." _He paused._ "Don't resist me." _

"Mia donna," the stranger murmured again. _How on earth could I fight that voice?_ "Let us find a quieter place."

"She isn't going anywhere with you," Edward powerfully stated when he appeared at my side and wrapped a claiming arm protectively around me.

"Leave us," the stranger spoke. His words were the only sign that he had acknowledged Edward's presence.

I saw Edward's jaw tighten and his hand ball to a fist. "No," he said. If he was feeling any need similar to mine, to please this man, then his self-control was incredible.

The handsome stranger turned to Edward with a scrutinising glare. "Find your dinner elsewhere," the stranger commanded.

Through a clenched jaw Edward hissed "No." And started to remove me from his hold.

The stranger was radiating obvious discontent. "I _said_, find your dinner elsewhere."

Suddenly Edward became rigid and took a step away from me. I pried my eyes off the dark stranger to see what happened to him. Edward's back was arched, his face downward. He threw furious looks around him, at the still cheering mass around us. His eyes were black as coal.

His thoughts were such a flurry that I only caught shards. Then a distinct line directed to me. _"Get me out of here."_

"Donna, come with me," the Italian accented voice ordered.

I was paralyzed.

_Oh, the rupture! _Edward, the one I loved, needed me. But I couldn't fight what was surging through my body. Bursts of self-loathing filled me, for each step I took with the stranger. I abandoned the one who held my heart, to leave with the one who controlled my head.

Behind me I was aware of Edward heaving. The frenzied thoughts were still too chaotic for me to catch. As the stranger and I departed, I caught words like 'Blood, Vivian, thirst, Carlisle, need, humans.' A silent tear rolled down my cheek as the stranger and I neared the backdoor exit. Then suddenly amongst Edward's mental disarray, _"I'm a monster."_ It was a thought so lucid, so candid, so dreadfully familiar through my many dreams, that I stopped moving.

"Don't stop, walk with me," the vampire instructed.

It would be moments before Edward would give in to his hunger. I could feel it. He needed me. I closed my eyes and decided to stop fighting the desire this man was throwing at me. Fighting it was too consuming, and I needed my strength. I embraced it.

The feeling was utterly overwhelming. I tried to discipline my mind as best as I could in the mere two seconds I could spare. I was in actual physical pain, to turn around and follow my heart.

Edward was surrounded by people taking pictures of him, asking him for his phone number, offering him contract deals – making it all the more difficult for him. _Don't they realise how close they are to death? Don't these meat-sacks have any instincts?_ I only now realised that those same people were following me too.

I pushed through the squirming sea of humans and grabbed Edward by the arm. His haunted face quietened an infinitely small amount at the sight of me. Together, we pressed on, against our aberrant desires, to leave _Vicini Vicini_.

* * *

As the cold evening air surrounded us, we started to move faster and faster, trying to keep the humans safe from Edward, and me safe from the consuming vampire. The vampire worried me more. Edward was in no state to fight, and I don't think I would be able to physically hurt the man I was dying to see happy. 

There was a collection of people running after us, repeatedly calling out the same questions, asking for phone numbers and names. Blessed Moon that they didn't have the stamina of a werewolf or vampire. We lost them quickly. Though, the same wouldn't apply to the stranger. The night was clouded – I couldn't use the moon's gift to see if he was following us. Was there a particular reason why he was at the restaurant?

The further we moved, the more cold air we took in, the less I hungered for the dark stranger. Did he cease his manipulation? Or did we succeed in escaping him? Nonetheless, my body wasn't relieved yet, on the contrary, it was terribly unsatisfied. Having embraced the feeling of desire, yet not acting upon it was bound to leave its mark.

We crossed an abandoned parking lot on the outer edge of Shelton. The thick grey mantle prevented the light of moon and stars from reaching us. A few dispersed light poles were the only comfort for our eyes when scanning our surroundings.

Once I didn't sense any nearby life, I found myself unable to hold back any longer. I grabbed Edwards' shoulders and pulled him down. Furiously and passionately I kissed him. What bliss to finally give in to these needs! Edward seemed only too willing to comply. It inflamed me all the more. I pressed myself to him. Still I wanted more. My hands stroked his back and then my nails tore through his jacket and skin. He grunted but didn't stop kissing me. The girl and wolf in me were wild with excitement.

He moved down to kiss my neck, inhaling in deep breaths of my scent. His eyes were still the colour of coal. I realised that he must be subjected to the same after echo's I was – he was still ravenous for blood. But unlike me, he didn't let go.

His lips moved over my neck once more, but I wanted teeth. Always this endless tease, but never did he bite.

"Will you be able to stop?" I asked with a tone that implied the obvious.

He pulled back to look at me with his black orbs, understanding my question. There was more vampire than human in him. Yet, remarkably, the human side had the upper hand. "Yes," he finally said. "You don't smell that edible."

"Then bite me already, you tease me too much." I moved my head to the side, to accentuate my words.

Edward was unmoving, hesitant. I knew he was suffering under his thirst, I wanted to release him from it. With my hands I pulled his head closer to my neck. He took one final breath of my scent, and gave in.

His sharp teeth cut through my skin like a knife cuts through butter. A helpless sound of pleasure escaped me. I could actually sense my blood flowing out of me, becoming one with him. Becoming one with Edward.

Immediately he became rigid and started pulling large draughts from my neck.

Something was wrong. This didn't feel right. It hurt.

"Edward," I whispered. He twitched, but the pace at which he was draining me did not falter. I placed my hands on his forehead and neck and tried to push him off. But my strength was falling dramatically.

"Stop," I urged. Again he twitched, but the pull became stronger still. On and on he drank with incredible speed. Within seconds I got the distinct sensation that I was flying. I was too weak to hold on to his shoulders. I went limp in his grasp. My heartbeat became feeble and slow.

"Edward… I'm dying," I said so softly, I wondered if he heard it.

Then he shoved me to the floor and bawled the most deafening roar. I felt so weak, that breathing alone was exhausting me. I struggled to remain conscious. My head was angled in a way that I could see him standing above me; his eyes pressed shut, his arms and shoulders formed a parabola that bobbed up and down due to the sharp gasps and snarls he was emitting. His fingers were closest to me; contracting and expanding, grasping nothing but air.

A drop of my blood still clung to his lips, his tongue leapt it up. Immediately he twitched in my direction only to step back again. "AAAAAAARGH!" His cry was reflected by the close and far off buildings. His eyes were still shut. If only I could see those eyes. I was too weak to move to him, to weak to do anything but keep bits of air moving in and out of my lungs.

His hands were clutching at the hair near his temples. He kept releasing strangled cries. Seeing him like caused me more pain than what I was physically feeling. But, I couldn't deny that he looked all the more glorious – seeing vampire and man battle within him.

I felt so useless, I wished I could comfort him, show him I was alright. But… I wasn't alright.

His hands moved from his temples to cover his face. He fell to his knees next to me.

"Oh, Vivian. I'm so sorry," he chocked.

He removed his hands to look at me. I was startled by what I saw in his face. The ruptured expression – full of pain and self-loathing – I had anticipated. But his eyes, I'd expected them to be black, perhaps even topaz, but they were a clear… green.

"I'm so sorry," he tearlessly sobbed again. I understood that he wasn't physically able to cry. He delicately scooped me up as he would a wilted flower.

"It's ok," I mouthed and pushed air through my lips. It was all I could do. But he seemed to be able to hear me.

He was so upset. He tried to calm himself and looked me over. "You need a blood transfusion. Fast." He started sprinting the way we came, back to his car. I noticed Edward was blinking – that might not strike anybody as out of the ordinary, but Edward only rarely blinked. It was probably a human reflex of would-be crying. He sure looked like he would be able to. "What is your blood-type?" he asked.

"WW." Apparently dry humour and anaemia weren't linked. "My body won't be able to process human blood."

Edward tried to hide his panic, but failed miserably. "Leaving you like this is not an option. We can't give you human blood either. If you heal yourself it will most likely have the same outcome… We'll have to ask for your mother's blood."

"No!" I gasped. The sound drained me of energy, I found myself nearly unconscious with the effort. "Mom is with Sam," I mouthed. If she would see me like this, she would not only have some shredding to do, but this would surely break the treaty. And commence a war between the vampires and werewolves, whom I both loved.

"I know," he said sadly. "But we have no choice. I'm not loosing you." He sped by the surrounding people at a speed that was barely human.

"Edward, I'll be ok if you just…" _Vivian, think of something._ "Hunt for me. My body restores faster after I've hunted."

He considered it. "Will that work?"

I couldn't reply just yet, I was still gathering energy from the last time I spoke. "Yes," I lied. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I wasn't going to let a war be started over me. He changed direction towards Olympic National Park.

"'Sorry' is inadequate," he said. "I wouldn't dare to want to be forgiven. It is undeserved."

"What went wrong?" I didn't want to make him feel any worse, but I was clueless myself.

"There was something in your blood. I… I couldn't smell it. I didn't – I didn't know."

"The moon's blessing…" I always did feel it in my blood. How could I forget?

"It was nothing like I'd tasted before; not comparable to human blood, nor that of animals. It was laced with something so…" He broke off. Edward was going preternaturally fast. We were out of people's sight and just entered the first layers of the woods. He was blinking furiously now, resembling a distraught angel.

"Why are you blinking?"

There was a scurry of emotions, I think I caught… embarrassment? "My eyes are killing me," he finally said. I looked at them in the short moments that they were open.

"They're turning from green to topaz again," I mouthed.

He flinched.

"What is it?"

"Probably nothing. And now is not the time. Wait here, I'll be right back." He laid his wilted flower gently on the ferns and vanished into darkness.

Now that Edward was gone, I allowed myself to be scared, although 'petrified' seemed more accurate description. I was exhausted and fought with unconsciousness each second. I tried to take comfort from the fact that I was on the forest floor – a home to me in many ways. And even though I was new to appreciating the sensation, I was glad Edward was taking care of me.

Another minute passed. Crippled, and in absolute silence, I lay amongst the ferns. My heart struggled.

Suddenly Edward materialised in front of me – I was too weak to catch the physical motions – with a giant grizzly bear hanging over his shoulders. _Dear moon, how these vampires exaggerate, a bunny would have been fine with me._ I heard an additional heartbeat to that of my own. The bear was merely unconscious.

He quickly placed the bear on the floor, and carefully raised my head onto his knee. With two hands he pulled its chest open and sliced a strip of meat, which he descended into my open mouth. I couldn't chew, I merely swallowed. Once he saw this he made the strips smaller.

"Everything is ok now. I won't hurt you again. I promise," he tried to sound reassuring. I forgot to mask my fear away, but it wasn't for him.

"You don't scare me," I mouthed.

He didn't respond to that. "What else can I do for you? Tell me – anything." His expression confirmed that I looked just the way I felt.

If I had any blood left, I would have blushed. "Sing for me."

He nodded and tore another piece of meat. And masterfully, he started to spin velvet into song.

"Softly, deftly, music shall caress you.

Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you."

While he sung, the slithers of meat kept descending into my mouth. I heard the bear's pulse slowing, while mine managed to gather some strength.

"Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,

In this darkness that you know you cannot fight.

The darkness of the music of the night." His voice made an uncharacteristic waver.

"I'm so sorry Vivian," Edward blurted. He paused, composing himself. "Could you ever believe that I love you?" I nearly chocked on the meat. "This monster, in love with you. I'm no better than that fiend at the restaurant."

I felt strong enough to use my voice now. "Stop beating yourself up about it. If I hear you referring to yourself as a monster one more time, _I'll_ bite _you_. I'm already getting better. And…" I took a deep breath. "I love you too."

Our gazes connected in a magical moment. He seemed several degrees calmer by my words, though his mood was still shroud in a dark cloud. He softly spoke, "You're absolutely crazy and undeniably beautiful. Both in several ways."

"All that and a bag of chips – or grizzly."

He smiled and kissed my hand. We must have sat there for another twenty minutes. He sang to me. This time he chose more cheerful songs, about happy people, normal people. He smiled more, but it came with an effort he didn't think I noticed. The bear died. Normally I didn't consider the animals I hunted, for what I was doing, was how nature intended it to be. However, this time, I silently thanked the bear for the exchange of life.

My heart was beating at a more regular interval. I was nowhere near my original strength. But the healing process had begun. I couldn't let mom see me like this. But Edward would figure something out. I thought it would be safe enough to sleep now. When my stomach had reached its maximum, I allowed myself to drift off.

"Come, we must return," Edward whispered. He delicately scooped me up. "Those two fools who run my theatre, will be missing you." **(1.)**

I was probably asleep already.

* * *

1. That exact line is what the Phantom of the Opera told Christine, after he had seduced her, and enchanted her with music, to his dark lair of unending night. 

The song Edward sung was _Music of the Night_, from _The Phantom of the Opera_ musical.

* * *

AN: What do you think so far? 


	19. The Memory

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My heart was beating at a more regular interval. I was nowhere near my original strength. But the healing process had begun. I couldn't let mom see me like this. But Edward would figure something out. I thought it would be safe enough to sleep now. When my stomach had reached its maximum, I allowed myself to drift off.

"Come, we must return," Edward whispered. He delicately scooped me up. "Those two fools who run my theatre, will be missing you."

I was probably asleep already.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 19 – The memory.

"Vivian..."

I found myself underneath a smooth white surface and above thick, familiarly luxurious carpet. _Vicini Vicini_. There were polished shoes next to me, half covered by suit pants. Soothing music caressed my mind. Its mellow tones were deceiving, for the dark stranger stood in front of me. He was dressed as he was before; clad in black with hints of a white shirt underneath, his black hair long and sleek. Though his ember eyes had a chilling effect on me this time.

_W__as I hiding from him?_ He stood in the centre of the room. All chairs were angled in his direction. For some reason it made me feel awfully insignificant.

The stranger whispered – words I could _feel_ rather than hear. "I can't help but wonder, have we met before?"

I opened my mouth wanting to tell him 'What? No more attraction so you resorted to pick up lines?' instead I sealed my lips.

The remarkably soothing music never stopped playing. _Was I the only one feeling terror? Why do I always feel so damn different from the others around me?_

"Vivian…" Like a prayer my name floated in the air.

"Edward?"

The feet next to me moved. Edward leaned down from the white grand piano. _Great Moon!_ His face and hands were on fire! His skin bubbled and the dress pants ignited. I couldn't see the state of his eyes for there were none. His charred hand reached for my face.

"Vivian…" the half-carcass said. "We're almost there, open your eyes."

I _shrieked_ and obeyed the command. I flinched away in reflex from a flawless but cold hand. Edward was restored; skin perfect, eyes topaz. For some reason his expression was a shocked kind of hurt – like I'd slapped him in the face or something. The hand returned to the steering wheel. His brow looked more solid than usual, as if he was trying to focus on something. It was raining. "At least you got your voice back," he said expressionless.

We were nearing the Cullen Manor in his car. I forced my eyes to remain open. I still felt weak. Edward noticed my struggle. "I'm sorry to have woken you. But I don't think my family would react too well if you were out cold with that… hickey on your neck."

His mobile rang. The thing was slick and silver, just like his car. He answered it.

"EDWARD, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!" The phone angrily questioned.

"Alice, I…" Some emotion flashed over his face, but it was too swift for me to catch, it was quickly concealed. "I will leave her as soon as she is safe. But we'll have to track him down first."

_Leave her? _I spontaneously felt nauseated and swallowed to keep the grizzly down._ What was he talking about? _

"Edward?" Alice snapped. "What are you talking about?" _Good question. _"What _were_ you_ thinking_ playing piano like that?! There were people there! This isn't the 1900's anymore. You've been recorded by a girl and some man on their mobile phones. In four hours, the girl is going to post it on YouTube. I can't make out from my visions where either live."

Emotion ebbed back into his face. And it was sheer terror. He turned to me.

"Alice, listen to me very carefully. Did you see _anything_ about Vivian?"

"No, of course not." She paused. "Why? What did she do?"

Eh, how about dance a tango with a vampire with unnatural grace and moments of inhuman speed?

"If it's posted, will the Volturi find out?" Edward asked.

"Too many decisions rely on that. They change their mind on how to entertain themselves. The possibility is definitely there," Alice said gravely. I gulped. I didn't know who the Volturi were but Edward actually looked scared. When he was against three Quileute wolves, he had merely looked defiant. This couldn't be good. "You are already going to be in the newspaper, but perhaps we can keep that local."

"Draw a picture of what you've seen about this man and girl. We'll be home in two minutes." Edward cut the phone.

I shook my head from left to right vigorously to get the wooziness from sleep and weakness away. "Edward, I don't know what's going on but don't you _dare_ leave me when it's over," I growled. "If this is because of the bite than that is simply ridiculous. I wanted it too. _I_ was the one urging _you_." He merely accelerated the car and didn't acknowledge my words, or pretended not to. "I'm serious. I'll hunt you down if you leave me."

Again he gave no reaction.

"Fine," I spat. "It's your funeral." He wouldn't be able to hide from me.

"I'm dead already," he replied frostily.

"Edward, I don't _care_ that you're a vampire." I articulated every syllable angrily. "You'd think you'd have dealt with it during the century." Immediately I wished I could take that back.

"You knew from the beginning that this could never last." His tone was indifferent. His eyes hard, like marbles. It scared me. The fact that there was truth in his statement frightened me more. "I can be rude to you if I have to. I can push you away if it is necessary. Let it go Vivian. Let me go."

I felt panic close to what I experienced on Lake Crescent. I wished I could change and run from it, but not as badly as I longed to be held by him. I felt sick. Edward scarred the tarmac with tire tracks. We were nearly at his house.

"It would break me," I finally croaked.

"You'd be alive."

Before the first tear could escape my lids I pushed the panic away with my resolves. His reasons were not good enough for me. And he had said that he loved me. He couldn't have just said that to calm me down right? To make me feel better? What ever the case, I wouldn't let us be separated.

"Who are the Volturi?" I asked, my voice almost sounded normal. Edward wasn't the only one who could hide emotions.

"You could call them the vampire royal family. They recruit vampires with the most impeccable gifts." I chewed my lip. This didn't sound good. "They enforce merely one rule upon all other vampires - to remain hidden. We can't show the world what we are. They wiped out all who ever broke the rule. If they see that recording, they'll come here for me. If they see you dancing the way you did… I'm not sure what they'll do to you." His head jerked from the road to me. "Stop that!"

His sudden black glare chilled me to the core for the second that it caught me of guard. There was a metal taste in my mouth. I had broken my lip by chewing on it. He stopped the car and in the next moment he was standing outside. His hands were holding the hood, denting the metal. His face was turned from me. I licked up the blood that clung to my lip and swallowed.

"I thought the smell didn't bother you that much," I said carefully. I knew he would be able to hear.

"It's not the smell," he murmured. "It's the memory."

"Oh." I couldn't erase the memory of how my blood tasted. He stalked back to the car, his eyes were mostly golden again. He sat down and wiped his wet hair from his brow. I didn't know if he wanted me to open the window to get the smell away anyway or that he'd rather have his car dry.

Before I phrased the words to ask the car stopped once more. We were outside his house. On the porch the entire Cullen family was waiting for us. Alice didn't look angry anymore, just worried, much like the rest of the family. Rosalie was the obvious exception, she was pissed. Once we got out I heard Alice gasp. I looked at the porch wanting to see if she was having a vision. Instead I found her at my feet. "Edward!" she huffed. "What did you do?!" Each delicate hand was holding one side of the torn dress.

She stood up sullenly. "Did you know what I went through to get this dress?" Because of her length she was eyelevel with my neck.

"Edward!" she cried again. "What did you do?!"

She stared at the punctured bruise, that was well beyond the average lovebite – no pun intended – and turned to Edward.

Edward was staring at Carlisle. "Yes," he said, answering Carlisle's thoughts without expression. "I wish it were. Let's go inside, I'll explain."

* * *

I was recuperating on the eggshell sofa in the living room while Edward had informed the family of all that happened tonight; the stranger's gift of desire, that it had induced Edward to play piano, me to dance, that in the after echoes of the desire he had bitten me under the notion that it was safe. And finally, that his eyes had changed colour. 

"Green…" Carlisle mumbled to himself when the surprise had passed.

I felt physically weak and exhausted. But having heard Edward explain in emotionless tones how I had abandoned him for the other vampire was exponentially worse.

Pensively Carlisle studied the coffee table in front of me. The poor thing was now no more than just a table – vampires weren't generally keen on coffee.

"Maybe his eyes turned green because she is a werewolf," Esme offered. Though her tone was more pleading than plausible.

"You mean red for humans, orangey for animals, green for werewolves?" Emmet asked Carlisle - he was the leader around here. Carlisle was still visually studying the table. Mentally, I expected his mind to be racing.

"Could be," Carlisle answered belatedly. "And you can't describe what you felt when you drank her blood?"

"No," Edward said. He sighed in defeat. "How would you describe the opposite of excruciating pain?"

Esme gasped, Carlisle's eyes flared, Rosalie and Alice were completely stunned.

Emmet shrugged. "Sex?"

Nobody paid him attention. All vampiric eyes were on me. I felt the familiar tug in my stomach of wolf-change. I hadn't chosen it – it was an instinctive reflex. After a quick mental decision I stifled it. I was too weak to fight even if my instincts were correct, it would only tear my dress further.

"Huh?" Emmet said when he looked around. "Oohhhh... OH!" He suddenly jumped up and joined the fellow hungry eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked, feeling officially creeped out. My question dissolved in the loud roar that ripped from Edwards throat. He was in front of me in an instant. He grabbed Rosalie out of the air above my face by her neck and knee and hurled her through the glass plane that covered the entire southern wall of the house. The glass shattered. Splinters and shards scattered everywhere.

"I drained nearly every possible drop myself Rose." Edward snarled the words. "And only my eyes changed back. You don't want to feel the pain when they go vampire again. I believe you remember how _that_ felt."

I couldn't hear where Rosalie was; I was too weak to experience the preternatural advantages of wolf. Furiously I started to wipe the glass splinters away from my face. The sharp shards cut through my skin on both. I'm sure I wasn't really improving the sight of me, but I wanted to see where Rosalie was. That evil girl would sneak up on me if she could.

"Jesus Vivian," I heard Edward curse.

When I managed to pry my sore eyelids open, I saw that he was in front of me still and growling. I peered from behind his waist wanting to see Rosalie. But he was staring at… Jasper? Edward seemed about to spring.

"Ah, come on," Jasper said. "You know I wasn't serious. Alice would have seen if I were."

"Eh, actually," Alice tentatively mumbled, "When Vivian is directly involved I can't see a thing."

"Oh," Jasper said somewhat sad. He looked at Edward dejectedly. "Sorry and thanks."

Rosalie entered through the broken glass wall. There were a few bloodstained cuts in her refined clothes, but she didn't appear harmed. She heals too fast.

Edward scrutinized each of his family members and assumed a more casual stance. I guess his shift indicated I was moderately safe for the moment. He looked worn out in the short moments when his emotionless mask fell.

"Edward? What am I obviously missing here?" I asked carefully while trying to wipe the blood from the cuts of my face and hands.

He didn't look at me but kept switching his eyes between his family members. "I had green eyes before," he said with the air of a newsreader, detached. "For about seventeen years."

_Oh my moon_. Could this mean what he was implying?

"The excruciating pain?" I asked.

"That's what you feel when turning into a vampire, and your blood was doing the opposite to me," he said coldly. "Our eyes are affected the most by the blood we drink. Yours had turned them human for a short moment of time, before the venom that courses through me kicked in and undid it."

I remembered focussing on his eyes too, wanting to see them. _Should I mention this now?_

"How come you didn't notice Don Juan in the restaurant before you went in?" Jasper asked. He was referring to the vampire stranger. (1.)

"He entered the room after we did. At first his thoughts weren't different from any other man in the restaurant. And no offence, but I was doing my best to block them all out. The air-conditioning must have blown the scent away from me. Perhaps that is why he never left the area around the bar."

"We have to do something about him," Jasper urged. "Shelton is too close to us. We can't let him hunt here. And from what you told me he was interested in _her_." He cocked his head in my direction. Being around these vampires made me feel more abnormal than usual. "He could have followed you here."

Carlisle pulled a worried frown.

"I didn't sense him," Edward stated. "The rain will have washed most of our scents away. But if he knows how to track… we might have trouble."

"Do you know why he was at the restaurant?" Carlisle asked.

"I can't be sure. I got the impression he was looking for something. But once he saw Vivian he had little thought for anything else." Edward raised his hand. From what I assumed – his back was to me, he faced his family - he was rubbing his brow.

"_Vivian,"_ Edward mentally told me. _"You have to leave."_

_I told you Edward__, I'm not leaving you. _

"_You don't understand,"_ his thoughts groaned. He was falling apart. _"It's not safe for you here. Rosalie is thinking about taking you away, tapping your blood into containers and eventually drinking it at once, so she can have a shot at becoming human again. Jasper always struggles to keep to our 'diet'. He is willing to suffer the pain to know what pleasure I was talking about. He doesn't want to give in, but he's struggling. _

"_I can't protect you here. And I have to go look for that girl who is about to post on that site. Then we'll go after the man. You are too weak to be of help. Plus Don Juan is still out there."_

_Is that what we call him now?_

"_For lack of a better name." _Both hands were pressing against his temples. I wanted to relieve him of some pressure.

_Fine, I'll go home. _

"_No, go to the Quileutes__… At least they can protect you." _

_-_

_-_

_-_

* * *

**1.** Don Juan (or Don Giovanni) is a legendary fictional libertine, a womaniser, whose story has been told many times by different authors. 

**(AN: It's not necessary to read the legend, but I like it.)** In the legend, Don Juan spent a lifetime either raping or seducing a young woman of noble family, and kill their fathers. Later, he encountered a statue of a father in a cemetery and impiously invited it home to dine with him, an invitation the statue gladly accepted.

The ghost of the father arrived for dinner, as the harbinger of Don Juan's death. The statue asked to shake Don Juan's hand, and when he extended his arm, the statue dragged him away to Hell.

In Hell, the Devil meets Don Juan. The Devil tells him that everyone in Hell is cast in a role, and then presents him with a Jester's suit, telling him, "You'll make an excellent _fool_." Don Juan is insulted by this, protesting that no other man was his equal, "I am the man who made a thousand conquests!" Intrigued by that claim, the Devil tells him that if he can correctly name _one_ conquest, he would not have to wear the suit. Thus began the parade of women. Not once could Don Juan name one correctly.

Finally, one woman stands before him, tears on her face; "Yes," the Devil says, "this is the one woman who truly loved you". Helpless, Don Juan looks into her eyes, then turns to the Devil and says, "Give me the suit".

* * *

AN: Please review. Without reviews I hardly feel motivated to write. 


	20. Now or Never

AN: I made the chapter a little longer than usual. Please leave your comment at the end. I savour all of them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_I can't protect you here. And I have to go look for that girl who is about to post on that site. Then we'll go after the man. You are too weak to be of help. Plus Don Juan is still out there."_

_Is that what we call him now?_

"_For lack of a better name." _Both hands were pressing against his temples. I wanted to relieve him of some pressure.

_Fine, I'll go home. _

"_No, go to the Quileutes… At least they can protect you." _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 20 – Now or Never

Edward found a place on my arm that wasn't covered in glass shards and jerked me off the couch.

"I'll be right back." He was addressing his family but his eyes were directed towards the door. "Yes Alice, I hear you. Don't stop. I'll be back as soon as I drop _her_ off." A chilling but simultaneously hot tremor went through me. Ok, he might be under some stress, but that gave him no right to treat me like this.

The rain felt cold on my skin. Edward unceremoniously dragged me towards his car and pushed me to the passenger door. "Get in," he commanded.

I felt a low tremor in the back of my throat. I stopped the growl as soon as I was aware of it - there were bigger problems at the moment than his behaviour. As soon as I closed the door behind me, Edward plonked down the accelerator. I wish he didn't. The sooner I'd had to spend time with Jacob or other Quileutes. I always felt oddly out of place there.

"Can't Alice see where Don Juan is?" I asked. "He's a vampire. That shouldn't be any problem for her right? Then I can stay home."

Edward usually drove pretty fast, but now pushing the Volvo to its limit. "She doesn't randomly get visions from all vampires all over the world," he retorted, as if it was so obvious. How am I supposed to know? "She has to be either attuned to them, or she has to know what specific area to target. Normally she scans Forks regularly to see if more like us are coming. She hasn't met Don Juan. She can only focus on the area around Shelton. She came up with nothing – which means he left. She can't sense him coming to Forks, but all this relies on decisions of the vampire himself. It's fallible."

"I'm willing to take the chance," I insisted.

"I'm not." The gold liquid in his eyes turned awfully hard and they didn't leave the road. "I don't want people to associate your death with me. I like Forks. I wouldn't want to leave it just because of you."

That hit me hard. I thought he loved me. Was this a warped version of how vampires expressed their love? I looked out of the window to the wet swirling masses outside. I pressed my face to the window to inhale the fresh air escaping the crevices. The more I thought about his words, the more they burned. I closed my eyes to stifle possible tears. No way in hell would he see me weep.

Then I remembered, _'I can be rude to you if I have to. I can push you away if it is necessary. Let it go Vivian. Let me go.' _

I took a deep breath and calmed down. I truly wished Edward wasn't as good at acting as he was. He really scared me there. As long as I knew what was in his heart, then I could deal with the stubborn exterior shell.

"Edward… baby. This isn't the time to be fooling one another. No more pretences. Please?"

He finally looked at me. Sweet Moon, sometimes it was so easy to get distracted by his handsome face. He could have been a marble tribute to some ancient god. But his hard topaz eyes might as well have been black for the sensation they stirred in me.

"Fine. You want me to cut the pretences? Don't forget, you asked for it." I felt like I was shrinking in the seat. I wanted to pull my knees to my shoulders to physically protect me from the possible mental damage I was about to receive. I resisted, he wouldn't.

"You have never been more to me than a hot body, in both senses of the word. A girl that wouldn't break the moment I'd touch her. Somebody I could waste some of my endless time with, without having the urge to drain her. But… my plan failed. I nearly ended up doing that anyway."

What he said hurt every fibre of me. Still, I was reluctant to believe. Then a memory popped back into my head, of the second day at school…

"_I am curious, when did you label me a pervert?" _Edward had mentally asked in Biology class.

_When we were in the woods, when you said you didn't thirst for water. And with men it's really not that hard to imagine what else they might thirst for. _

"_I guess in your case__, you would be right."_

I shook my head back to the present day. No, it couldn't be. "I- I don't believe you," I stammered.

He looked at me questionably, the road forsaken. He could drive well enough without looking at it. "You couldn't honestly believe I cared for you?"

How his words burned me, scarred me. "After you bit me, you were so upset," I argued. If he was acting, I'd find out.

He threw his head back and laughed. It wasn't a bell-like echo, it was a harsh sound. "You don't know what pain is involved when a human part turns vampiric. Believe me, you'd look pretty upset too if your eyes changed like that."

I wouldn't give up. If there was any hope for us, I'd cling to it with all my heart. "But you said you loved me." It sounded pathetic, even to me.

He snorted. "I said that to keep you around. You were something I hadn't tried yet over the century. That's why I stopped being your 'mortal enemy'. I'd thought you'd make something interesting to observe for a while. God knows how bored I was." He frowned at me. "Vivian, deep within, you always knew I could never love a werewolf." He looked disgusted even as he said it.

I had wondered why he changed his mind about me so quickly that second schoolday. This wasn't what I expected. How could I have been so foolish? Had Jacob been right about him all along? I tried so hard trying to figure out the expression on his face when I changed from wolf to girl at lake Crescent, before our swim. I knew now what it was – he was trying to hide his disgust.

He angled his eyes back to the road. "Turns out you're more trouble than you're worth," he murmured. "Go hang out with those other mongrels. I've had enough of you."

I stared at his face, trying to find some piece of evidence that he was lying. A twitch of the eye, a clenched jaw… nothing. His face was calm.

I felt awful. Broken, a prodigal of the wolf I'd used to be. Wolf… I thought I'd never live the day when I'd hate to be Loup-Garou. I pressed my eyes shut once more. He wouldn't see me cry. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me. "You're a monster," I told him.

He swallowed. "You asked for the truth," he simply answered. He stopped the car abruptly. "Get out. I have two mobile phones to track, and a vampire to hunt."

I felt rage building within me. How could I have fallen for him? With tear-blurred vision I placed my hand on the door handle and was about to go out, when I was where we were. "Weren't you taking me to the Quileutes?"

"Clean yourself up. Cover the bite. Then drive yourself there. I don't want to see you again."

The rage in my hurt was prominent. I slapped him across the face as hard as I could muster. I was pleasantly surprised that some of my strength had returned to me.

"I'll allow that one," Edward said unflinching. "Now get out."

He didn't have to tell me another time. I was only too eager to let the rain mask my tears. My voice I could control to some extend, my tear ducts I couldn't. "What makes you think I'll cover the bite?" I snapped.

"Because you don't want to start a war," he said indifferently. He gave me one last glance while I stood in the pouring rain. His face was expressionless. But he leaned towards me with his hand outstretched. I could feel my jaw drop ever so slightly. Was there still hope? I reached my hand out to him in return. He grabbed the passenger door and yanked it shut. He drove off.

He had broken the last remnant of me._ I HATE YOU! _I made my thought as loud as I possibly could while staring at the rear of his car. There was a high chance he could hear it. And this way, he knew it to be true.

When my superior eyes could no longer detect the ghost of the silver Volvo, I stalked to my house. My tears were lost, irrelevant, amongst the many drops from above. I took the house keys from under the ceramic duck by the front door, going through the movements mechanically.

Once the door closed behind me, my knees gave way. I crashed to the floor and screamed at the stupidity in me. I hammered my hands on the imitation-wood parquet, causing some of the cuts to reopen. _How could he have fooled me so? How could my instincts abandon me like that? Or did they?_ Edward was right, I always questioned his capability to love me. I had felt too scared to ask if he could love my wolf form.

Edward left me. Just like my father had left me. And mom was with Sam.

I was alone.

I lay there on the floor, drenched, bleeding, hurt. Two hours could have passed, or five. Should it matter? I spent the time alternating between pounding on the floor or crying my eyes out.

I picked up the sound of footsteps approaching. And a familiar sweet scent caressed my nose. _Edward?_ I wasn't sure if I'd wanted to see him now. I wouldn't be able to take any more. Forced by mortal frailties, I took another breath. The sweet scent filled me again.

But it wasn't Edward's.

"Miss, could you please open the door?" a small and gentle voice asked. It wasn't the velvet of Edward, nor the rumble of the dark stranger, but too perfect to be anything but vampire.

"Who are you?" I rasped.

"Oh, I'm sorry miss. My name is John." His words were kind, his tone soothing. "I smell that you're bleeding, but I won't hurt you. I promise."

I believed him. If he had wanted to, he could have kicked the door down, or approached me more quietly and snuck up on me. And even though I wanted to block out everyone in this world, a part of me craved for some kind of comfort. I stood up. Once I opened the door I had to look down. He was merely a boy, no older than nine human years. His face was pale, plump, and framed by black hair. The day was dawning, and gave his skin that unearthly complexion.

"Oh my!" little John exclaimed. "That mean vampire really did a number on you. And he bit you too." He bit the corner of his lip and shook his head.

Had he been spying on me? How did he know about Edward? "What do you want?" I asked suspiciously.

He stopped the shaking of his head and looked at me with the most adorable set of red eyes. "I will tell you everything miss. But please answer a question for me first." He paused, his face was elated with anticipation. "Are you… a Gandillon?" His eyes sparkled at the name.

What a beautiful little boy. I wanted to reach out and squish his cheeks. Hold him like I would a stuffed toy and try to forget my pain. "Would it matter if I'm a Gandillon or not?"

He nodded rapidly with wide eyes.

"Why?"

"Oh, don't tease me miss. Please answer my question."

The boy seemed harmless. "Yes, I'm Vivian Gandillon."

His jaw dropped into a wide 'O'. He danced a circle of joy and giggled. He went to me once more and carefully held my hand. "I'd kiss your hand if it weren't covered in blood," he rejoiced. "You have to go back to Victor. You met him at _Vicini Vicini_. He didn't recognise you for what you were because you smell so different. He never meant you harm either way."

The latter was a lie. 'Victor' had thought I was human and referred to me as dinner. What else did this boy lie about? If I learned anything over the last twenty-four hours, it is that vampires are not to be trusted.

I took back my hand. "No, please leave."

"I can't without you," he pleaded.

"Oh, but you will." I closed the door in his face and headed for the bathroom. The sooner I'd clean myself up the sooner I'd have a pack of burly wolves around me. If John would tell Victor where I lived I didn't know if sanctuary or hell would be in stall for me.

I was barely down the hall when I heard the door crash out of its hinges. It hit me full in the back and hurled me down the hallway. "Argh." _Hell_, seemed more like it. I started the process of wolf-change. I clenched my gut to will it on. The process was slower than what I was used to. Couldn't Edward have chosen a different day to drain me? My new limbs tore through the red dress that I had lovingly admired mere hours ago. Once I was securely on all fours I prowled from under the door.

John's excessively white teeth were exposed in a menacing grin. "If you won't come with me, I'll just have to do it myself," the a-little-less-sweet boy derided.

He flung himself at me. His gaze was fixed at the side of my neck that didn't fashion puncture marks yet. How much can one person take? Today I'd been seduced by a stranger, nearly killed by him, drained by Edward, awaiting possible doom from Volturi, attacked my Rosalie, almost by Jasper, and worst of all, I'd lost – who I thought was – my soul mate. Now this…

I feigned to the right and dodged to the left. He darted past me preying on nothing but air. I was weak, but John wasn't a good fighter. Perhaps that's why he wanted to lead me to Victor; so that he could kill me off. A part of me wished Edward had his hands full on him, an equally big part prayed Edward was safe.

I jumped little John from behind and sank my teeth into his shoulder. Immediately an explosion of flavourful blood spewed into my mouth. But it wasn't of animals like Rosalie's had been. It was a cocktail of _human_ blood. I didn't expect it – I should have. I tried to fight the sweet taste of it. It wouldn't do to surrender to bloodlust. During the shock I had loosened my grip on him. John was almost free when I bit down harder and threw all the strength I had into tearing at the sweetened flesh.

Even though he wasn't a good fighter, he was still strong. He grabbed me with his other arm and hauled me off his back. I crashed against the stairs. I could feel the wood alternate between digging into me and bending under the force.

John painfully whined and pouted at the sight of his one arm dangling by a thin piece of flesh from his torso. I didn't hesitate but ran upstairs to my room, then backtracked, and jumped down from the landing into the kitchen. I departed through the kitchen window. Hopefully it would be enough to confuse the smell so I could make a run for it. It was brighter outside. The sun would be up soon. Not that you'd notice with this amount of cloud coverage.

"Don't think I didn't see that little doggie."

_Shit. Think fast Vivian_.

Outside I hid under the kitchen window. Not a moment later John stormed out in my pursuit – just as I expected. I jumped up much like the previous time and bit down on the same shoulder. Again I felt equally repulsed and fascinated by the taste of human blood. His skin had healed somewhat. But the muscle and joint underneath were still broken. With one vicious rip, I dissected it from his torso.

John released an agonising shriek and started to throw a tantrum on the wet grass.

I let the shoulder fall to the ground._ Ha! _I thought._ Try healing _that_ back together!_

I yelped. There was a sharp pain on my right paw. His detached arm was wrapped around it and crushing my paw! I tried to kick the thing off. It was probably grabbing my paw due to some convulsions of remaining oxygen in the blood. But it wouldn't let go. Then it dawned on me – vampires didn't need oxygen. With my teeth I yanked the thing off and threw it far away from me into the foliage. To my complete astonishment, the arm, using its fingers, started to crawl back towards its master.

I turned from the decapitated limb to John. The shock of loosing his arm was wearing off. He seemed to calm himself down. He shot me angry glances while looking for the limb he'd lost. This would be the time to get my furry ass out of here. But I didn't move. He wanted to know who I was. Obviously the news of me being Gandillon was good for him. What was good for him, was bad for me. And… there was another Gandillon living in this house. My mum. This news shouldn't spread.

_But h__ow do I kill this damn thing? _

I changed to girl so I didn't have to stand on my crushed hand. I ran back inside the kitchen and picked up the phone with my good hand. There was no way I'd call Edward. It had to be Jacob. I dialled his number while shooting nervous glances around me – from this angle I couldn't see John outside.

Prrrrrrrr.

Prrrrrrrr.

"Pick up. Pick up," I muttered.

Prr "Hello?"

"Jacob, how d-"

"Vivian!" He exclaimed exuberantly. "How are you?"

"Been better." I spoke fast and did another scan of my surroundings. John's scent still lingered in the hallway, kitchen, and outside. I had to rely on eyesight.

"How do I kill a vampire?" I demanded.

"Aw Viv, I knew you'd come around!"

"You don't understand. How do I kill a va-mpi-re?" I chocked.

Apparently John had taken some lessons from its superior, for he had snuck up on me from behind. His small hands were straddling my neck. Yes, hands… plural. He had managed to reattach his arm. I tried to move them off my neck. But I was simply too weak, and he too strong. His nails dug into my throat right under my chin and tore through laterally in one fluid move. He let go.

Blood gushed out of my vast wound onto the floor and into my air duct. I juddered to the kitchen floor, writhing and gurgling in the process. I couldn't breathe.

"Vivian, what's going on?" the phone anxiously questioned. His tone implied that he was grasping the seriousness of the situation. After another second of sputtering, the line went dead.

"Who was that?" John asked me a little scared.

My eyes beamed incredulity at him. _I'm suffocating and bleeding to death here! I can't really answer that question, can I?_

John gave me one last look. "This ought to do it anyway," he said and left quickly.

When he was gone, I stopped the writhing. He had been an object to defy against. Now that he left, there was an odd sense of calm. I looked at the clock near the door. It would take at least ten minutes for Jacob to get here.

He'd be too late.

And even if he wasn't too late, what could he do? He wasn't a surgeon. I thought back to last night. _How much more can a person take? _

_But w__hat if I didn't have to take anymore?_ There was overwhelming relief in that thought. I could simply lie here, and wait. Then I wouldn't feel the anger and _hurt_ that Edward filled me with. He wouldn't be able to haunt me any longer with pleasant memories that could be no more. I'd be at peace, dead.

I'd be with my father.

_Dad…_ I thought in a serene drowse.

Then my eyes strolled from the clock to a picture that hung next to it, of mom and me smiling at my dad, who had taken it. Protecting pack had been an urge imprinted from birth. Mom was my entire pack now. I couldn't do to her what dad did to us. Simply couldn't. Never mind the danger John and Victor posed on their inexplicable hunt for Gandillons.

Perhaps I did have a choice here. I could attempt to heal myself. Bitter memories came to mind of the last time I had attempted it. I'd probably die anyway without Edward singing the agonising hysteria away. That death would be exponentially more painful than the current one on this cold kitchen floor. My muscles started to quiver due to lack of oxygen. It was now or never.

I decided to try.


	21. A Heart

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Perhaps I did have a choice here. I could attempt to heal myself. Bitter memories came to mind of the last time I had attempted it. I'd probably die anyway without Edward singing the agonising hysteria away. That death would be exponentially more painful than the current one on this cold kitchen floor. My muscles started to quiver due to lack of oxygen. It was now or never.

I decided to try.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 21 – A Heart.

It was getting difficult to think. To get through this alone, I planned on following three simple steps.

One. Remember how I managed last time.

Two. Do it, healing only the bare essential - the area just under my chin and air duct. The several cuts, mostly on my face and hands from the Cullen Manor glass weren't lethal, neither were the bruises on my back from the stairs, or the crushed right hand inflicted by John's arm. _What a mess…_ But the more I'd try to heal, the more danger I would expose myself to.

Step three… was beyond me. I decided not to waste valuable seconds contemplating that.

I remembered, from the previous time, focussing on the white energy within my blood, bones, and soul. Making it palpable as possible, and move it to the necessary area. _Alright, here we go_. I didn't have to shut my eyes to help the focussing along. Even though I knew the kitchen had to be brightened by dull sunlight, everything was black before my eyes.

I started to concentrate on the light energy somewhere in me.

_Focus… _

_FOCUS…_

I didn't feel it.

Couldn't find it.

I was dominantly lethargic due to suffocation and blood loss. But believe me, I was panicking. I knew what the discriminating factor was, because the intricate connections that I've been feeling over the past few hours were missing. Just like the _moonlight_ was from the sky.

Damn sun! Damn Edward! This was as much his fault as it was mine.

Now that I had made the choice for life, I was determined to stick to it. During the day my white strands of hair did not change back. There was power in _me_. There had to be… Just, less potent, or obvious, or so I hoped. I had no feeling in my limbs, time was running out. My story would _not _end here. _Not_ while I was alone. _Not_ while my mom was in potential danger.

With pristine courage I dug deeper into the core of my being in search of the divine light. I concentrated on my bones, knowing that my blood would be rather useless to me now – it being mostly on the floor, and not in my body.

I tried to envision the hard structures that made up my skeleton. With tremendous determination, I siphoned what I imagined to be a glowing semi-liquid from it. Luckily the process didn't require physical strength or mental capabilities. The exertion was above that, as if my _soul_ were directing and suffering the process.

I coerced the numinous energy immediately to my throat. I couldn't feel it working. More panic. Perhaps the reason was because I couldn't feel my body as a whole? Or Maybe I was merely dreaming here, hallucinating about pretty tiny lights. Was I not to be shown a rerun of my life?

I bit back my fear to maintain focus and concentration. I was awfully wary and strained by the effort, more than I ever thought I could endure. No doubt I was dead already, and on my way to hell, because heaven couldn't possibly feel like this. Suddenly my stomach convulsed, bear-scented bile mixed with the pool of blood on the floor. I coughed and sputtered. My first breath of air followed.

It wasn't sweet as I imagined it would be. It hurt. With a few more breaths I gained an awful stinging sensation all over. But the worst thing was that the lethargy was leaving me, and I was becoming more alert.

After a mere five breaths I clutched my face in the agony. But my head wasn't the origin. It was all of me, as if my entire balance was disturbed. I tried keeping my foul tasting mouth closed; I craved the numbness of anoxia. But I couldn't, my body wouldn't let me. With another five breaths I screamed at the distress, I welcomed the pain it caused my throat – but it wasn't enough.

_TOO MUCH!_

My memories hadn't done the agonising alertness justice. The instinct of flight kicked in. I knew trying to escape would be futile; I would carry this wherever I went. Nonetheless… I ran.

I embraced the pain it gave me. But it couldn't keep me sane. I was too weak to experience the preternatural sharpened senses. I couldn't smell scents far away, but what I did smelt hit me hard and craved for attention. Whatever came into my line of vision, I noticed. I couldn't look _at_ a leaf, because the leaf next to it was just as striking, just like the other neighbouring leaf, and the one next to that. I saw _all_ the ants, _every_ unabsorbed drop of rain, rock, and eventually snowflake as green turned to white.

It was too much to process, it caused me such agony. On and on I trashed, I think I was screaming too. There being too much stimuli to be sure. The cold helped. I dug myself in deeper till I could see nothing but dulled white. My body slowed down, my mind slowed down. I dug further. The snow absorbed the sounds of my ragged breath. I finally went numb again.

Until… a new smell infiltrated my mind. Through my numbness I managed to filter it out; it was a rather musky or sandalwood-like scent, couldn't really describe it. It was nice. Then I picked up a faint trace of a more sweetened scent… little John's.

There was cracking of snow above me; somebody was destroying my cold protection. _No!_

"Vivian! Where are you?!"

_Please don't let him find me. Please let me be. _

There was a loud intake of breath. I couldn't tell if it were mine or his. But suddenly I sensed a temperature increase - warmth under my shoulders and knees. I could feel my mind and body speed up again. _Leave me!_ This was all wrong.

"Oh, no. Please, no." I was pretty sure it wasn't me talking.

Breath moving in, and out. Crunches of snow. Dripping of water. "But you can't! You're not supposed to." Moving of fabric, crunch of snow, crunch of snow, always these continuous breaths…

Too much sensation.

I lost it again.

* * *

Time must have passed. Time doesn't stop, never does. Not even for me. Time wasn't mending my ailment. It got worse.

I was on something softer now. A small part of me got back drawn to reality by the mention of a name, "Edward".

"Alright, I'll call him," the voice didn't sound too happy. Desperate more like it. I think it was Jacob's. A beep followed.

I tried with all my might to block out the fifty other sounds and focussed only on his voice; he would be talking to the only person I wanted to hate and desperately needed to be comforted by. I didn't open my eyes, knowing the visual stimulation would drive me further into insanity.

There were several electronic beeps. "Listen leech," I shuddered. I wasn't sure if it was because of his heated voice. "Vivian has been attacked by a vampire. She has-" Jacob paused. Edward must be talking. I wasn't strong enough to hear his voice over the receiver.

"No, we took care of it. She has- _Shut up for a minute_," Jacob snarled and spoke faster. "She's been bitten by it and is bizarrely hysteric. I can't see any other_ lethal_ wounding, but she is entirely drained of blood. I'm pretty sure her heart is about to collapse, if there is nothing that I can…" he broke off, calming himself. "Is she… is…" His dominant tone faltered. "Is she turning into a vampire?"

There was a deep sigh of… relief, I think. Did he say John was 'taken care of', dead? That would ensure the safety of Esmé. But if it were the case, then where was the rest of the pack?

"She _healed_ herself?" Jacob sounded sceptical. "She doesn't look all that healed to me… ok_ay_… What can I-"

"You want me to _what_?" he exclaimed. "You're not helping here, bloodsucker," he growled. "I thought you cared for her. Her heart can't take any more," He didn't know the full extend of that truth. "There is no time for this crap."

"Fine! Er, can I whistle instead?"

Once a small grunt had blown over, the air was suddenly filled with a chorus of _Waltzing Mathilda_. Jacob's voice wasn't close to that of Edward's, but it had its own husky sound that made it pleasant. Unfortunately, it just wasn't what I was looking for.

"It's not working," he finally growled. "She keeps moaning 'He left me.'" That struck me. _Was I?_ "I told her we killed the leech but I'm not sure she can hear me. This singing is a joke. Is there something that you're not telling me?"

I was sure I would have to pay in threefold for the strenuous effort with which I was concentrating on Jacob's voice. There was a longer stretch of quiet. Perhaps it already was too late for me.

"You told her _WHAT_?" Jacob snarled. "_Forget_ the treaty, parasite. You are treading my own personal bounds here."

"Oh, and you didn't see this coming?!"

"What do you mean 'No'?" There was an angry tremor to his voice.

"I advise you _do_ start explaining because-"

There was a snap, followed by a crunch, and the ripping sound of fabric. Something metallic rattled as it hit the floor. The padded sound of paws approached.

Suddenly, I felt rowdy fur against my bare shoulder, and a wet tongue moving over my face. Both were amiably scented of musky sandalwood. I had failed to notice in the past just how Jacob smelled, now I was simply overly alert to all scents. I couldn't _not_ notice.

I dared to open my eyes. A big, russet brown wolf was half standing on the couch I was lying on. The small living room was just big enough to house him. Jacob's eyes were big and very dark, and caring as he licked the wounds on my face clean.

I hauled my arms around his neck. It was the first rational response from me in what felt like a lifetime. My sore fingers pulled through the fur. My cheek rested against his chest as my face bobbed slightly with the strong soothing throb of his heart. After a few minutes, mine calmed to beat in tune with his.

A strong, beating heart - in all senses of the word - was what I needed. Something that Edward so obviously lacked. I didn't want to poison the moment by thinking of him. I frowned at the control he still had over my thoughts.

Then it came, I could feel it rising like a sneeze. Something that just builds and builds till it all comes out in one uncontrolled purge. I started to weep. The low rumbling sound Jacob had been making, rougher than a purr, a peaceful sound of contempt, stopped. He wanted to move back to look at me. Feeling a bolt of shame at the salty tracks, I changed to wolf form; a shape that could shed no visible tears.

Because of my lack of hands, the big wolf managed to pull back to look at me. His eyes were about to pop out, his jaw dropped, and his tongue half hung out of his mouth in an odd manner. _Right, he'd never seen me as wolf before._ He moved in closer and licked my muzzle again. It was such a sweet gesture, not exactly a kiss, but still a sign of affection. I felt something inside me crumble away and shuddered. I was ever grateful that emotions are better contained as wolf, for I felt myself go despicably mushy.

Here was somebody who, even though he could be annoying or a cocky jerk, appreciated both sides of me. No doubts on my side, no lies on his; things were exactly what they were. That should satisfy me. _Should_ make me want to leap in the air and wag my tail until it would fall off.

Jacob gave me a meaningful look and left the room with a sing in his tail. He soon reappeared in his tall human form wearing only grey sweatpants. His long muscles were covered by russet skin, almost the same colour as mine. _I _should_ be leaping for joy_. My eyes fell to the floor. _But he wasn't Edward._ I felt my teeth grind. _The Edward I loved doesn't exist, and never did._

"Can I get you anything?" Jacob asked as he moved nearer to me. His eyebrows were slightly raised and his lips moved into a lazy comforting smile.

I shook my head. I wouldn't take the shape of a girl to talk unless I'd have beaten that mushy softness to rock.

"Are you sure?"

Again I nodded.

His brow dropped questionably. He moved to the kitchen-side of the room and returned with a filled pint-glass. His graceful movements prevented any ripples forming on the liquid. I don't think he noticed.

"Have some water," he offered.

I stared at the glass, then at Jacob. Alright he was cocky, but apart from that, he was handsome, protective, and caring. What more could a loup-garou ask for? I would mourn if there was reason to mourn. But Edward leaving me, had been good thing. I felt my teeth grind harder. _Yes, Vivian, a good thing._

I admitted I was thirsty, but the water he was offering, would require hands to drink.

All it would take was to change to a girl once more, and continue my life from there…

I eyed the glass warily for a moment. A loud slap disrupted my thinking, Jacob's palm had collided with his forehead. "I'm such an ass," he said. He got up, found a blanket in a nearby cupboard, and threw it over me with a scratchy smile. I barked a laugh. Nudity was the last of my concerns right now.

There was certain innocence in Jacob, in a place where Edward stored loathed repentance, or so it had seemed. I decided to shift form. The blanket bubbled above me as my limbs reset and shaped. I shook my white and tawny hair away from my eyes and sought his face.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Don't sweat it," he said, and smiled an easy smile as he handed me the water.

I chugged it down quickly and shuddered, an after symptom of healing.

"Are you cold?" he asked?

All this seemed way too familiar to me. And I wasn't liking it. The only difference now was that Jacob moved _closer_ to warm me. I felt the sneeze building again, and changed from before I could let the first tear escape. _Soon it will be different_, I told myself. _I'll allow you just one more hour to get over him. He's not worth more of your time._

Jacob got up and disappeared behind the couch. Fabric fell to the floor. The blanket got pulled off and a large wolf put his paw around my neck. Against his warm belly, I found peace.

* * *

Somewhere in a state of half-sleep, I had decided; I would accept whatever comfort Jacob would offer. I'd forget about Edward – as best as I could. I'd keep an eye out for Victor. And as for Volturi-whatevers… I'd let Edward take care of that. The vampire should handle the vampire business. I also planned on raiding Aunt Persia with questions when she would come in four weeks. I wanted to know all the ins and outs on healing. She made it clear to me that it was something dangerous. Oh, but believe me, it wasn't something I'd do for recreation. But somehow trouble managed to find me here in Forks. The knowledge might be valuable. I wished I could contact _her_. But I had no idea where she was.

Jacob nuzzled my ear unconsciously. I snorted. He had no problem invading personal bubbles. Not that I minded now. I wriggled out under his arm, and shifted to girl. The blanket resembled a badly made tube-dress once I had wrapped it around me. I ruffled the hair on Jacob's head roughly.

"Jacob, wake up."

The wolf rumbled uninterrupted. He didn't even stir. I kicked him – not too hard.

"Get your furry ass moving. We're going hunting."

That last line did it. The wolf woke up. His eyes sprang open. He ducked behind the couch. "Hunting? Can't I get you a bowl of Captain Crunch instead?" He stood up wearing the grey sweats.

"Jacob, have you seen the state of me?" With my hands I gestured my body, but I was mostly covered by the blanket. "I need fresh meat in order to heal myself up a bit. And apart from that, I'm starving."

Jacob looked disturbed. "How about I make you a burger?" He said enthusiastically and smiled in false hope.

I shook my head in disappointment. I knew how he thought about hunting, but I didn't want to go alone. I'd been alone enough on that kitchen floor, _and_ in the Olympic Mountain snow. I'd rather avoid the loneliness for a while, it wouldn't do me good. _I'll loosen him up_. "You have to stop associating hunting with vampires."

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't. It's just wrong to kill animals for food like that."

I moved my hands to my hips. "Where do you think that burger came from?"

"That's different," he said defensively.

"I don't see how. I've seen how you eat, Jacob. Even for the unnatural it is unnatural. You are overcompensating with human food because you are not supplying your body with what it really needs."

His arms folded across his wide chest and he produced an unconvincing, slightly hysterical laugh.

"I'm serious Jacob. Have you noticed the shape of your teeth when you are wolf? They are that of a carnivore. Captain Crunch won't be able to feed that mouth, even when you stuff four kilos of it down the way you do."

He bit his lip and his eyes travelled around the room, as if he were literally searching for a good argument. "I can't kill an animal for my personal gain. We are protectors, not destroyers. It's against my nature."

I shook my head at his attempt. "It is _exactly_ your nature. Does it matter who does the killing? The butcher or you?"

He just stood there. He was uncertain, but didn't budge.

"You wanted lessons right?" I goaded.

"I'll just wait for you to come back," he said, though I saw his resolves breaking. _Time for the final blow._

"You know, hunting will probably make you stronger too. Better for killing vampires," I whispered sinisterly. I know I stooped low, but if it would get the trick done…

He threw his hands in the air. "You don't stop do you? Do you always get what you want?"

My neck twitched as I remembered the sight of Edward's beautiful, deceitful eyes. "Are you coming or not?" I hedged.

He sighed. "I need to talk to Sam first about that bloodsucker that attacked you. Then, I'll join you." He smiled. "Say hi to Captain Crunch for me in the meantime."

* * *

AN: Leave a review please. 


	22. The Second Hare

AN:

Hi all,

I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in a little longer than an eternity. I could make a list of excuses like; I've moved in with my boyfriend, my university course started, I've joined one of Malta's leading choirs, I have house work to do, I'm planning my own real novel which has to be of way better quality. But I'm not going to. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, and as always, I will try to keep them coming, but be patient with me when they don't. I've made this the longest chapter so far to make it up to you.

And thank you all so very much for all your support through reviews and personal messages. Words can't describe how they lighten up my day. Thank you.

Gumea

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I saw his resolves breaking. _Time for the final blow._

"You know, hunting will probably make you stronger too. Better for killing vampires," I whispered sinisterly. I know I stooped low, but if it would get the trick done…

He threw his hands in the air. "You don't stop do you? Do you always get what you want?"

My neck twitched as I remembered the sight of Edward's beautiful, deceitful eyes. "Are you coming or not?" I hedged.

He sighed. "I need to talk to Sam first about that bloodsucker that attacked you. Then, I'll join you." He smiled. "Say hi to Captain Crunch for me in the meantime."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 22 – The Second Hare

I felt like a midget. Usually I'd consider myself pretty tall with my five foot seven, but the sleeves of the jacket Jacob offered me had to be rolled back so far, that I dragged a lump of cloth on each limb.

We were on our way to Sam's place. I decided that if I was going to be an active member of this pack, I should be there for the meeting. Plus, the alternative of waiting for him didn't seem appealing either. Jacob was driving his awfully slow, red Chevy truck. Nonetheless, he appeared to be in a good mood, whistling some unknown tune that was better than Waltzing Mathilda. Mentally I was still a little shaky, but physically I'd feel better soon, Jacob sincerely seemed like he wanted to give hunting a try. His one hand was tapping in tune with the simple melody on the steering wheel. His other was casually slung behind my headrest.

Perhaps it was a female thing to worry. I admit I hadn't mentioned Victor yet - didn't have the chance to - but the pack meeting would be the right occasion. I'd also have to browse the Internet for video's to see if Edward and his posse had managed to stop them from being posted. I wouldn't voluntarily talk to Edward. Let alone depending on him in any shape or form, like needing him for information. Once I'd toughened up I'll make him regret what he did to me. How dare he. Jacob's whistled song reached its end.

"You're awfully happy," I noted.

He shrugged and grinned at the leafy road ahead of him. Summers were short-lived here in Forks. I wasn't complaining, the forest scene was mesmerising; green, red, and orange battled to be the dominant colour. Anticipation bubbled in my toes. In wolf form, the fallen leaves would feel like cushions when I'd tread on them.

"What's not to be happy about? You've finally come to your senses." He turned to me with raised eyebrows. "Really, it took you long enough." And peered over the road once more. "Plus there seem to be vampires out there that we _are_ allowed to kill." His hands tightened ever so slightly on the wheel.

I laughed. His eagerness was catching, not that I didn't have some unresolved rage towards the vampire nation myself. I wondered if, when fully recovered, I would manage to give Edward what he deserved; a good smack on the head… and every other part of his frost body. However, I'd never actually seen him fight. I'd wonder if I was good enough. But it would be a fantastic way to beat the mushy tenderness _he _created to steel. My skin pricked at the desire for fur.

"Please _do_ enlighten me on that subject," I told Jacob. "How do those things die?"

Immediately I was overwhelmed by Jacob's aura of true content, as if I'd awarded him a Nobel Prize, declared my undying love, or promised him fifty boxes of Captain Crunch. I felt a bit uncomfortable at his loving gaze, knowing I couldn't return it. At least… not yet.

He took my hand. Once again, the warmth of him felt confusingly right. It was remarkable how easy it was to become absorbed by him. His lips parted while his eyes caressed my face. A silent moment passed. The forest colours blurred as I was drawn into the black of Jacob's eyes. I felt as if my chest lightened but it came pared with an anomalous sense of worry. "Tear them completely apart and burn the pieces," he stated bluntly. "That's the only way we know of that _keeps_ them dead." I let out the breath I was holding. Jacob sighed too. But his thoughts seemed elsewhere.

"I really wanted to finish the Leech off that sucked you dry. Our paths crossed on way over to you," he said as he gazed into the past. "But when I smelt your blood on him. I decided to let Sam and the rest take care of him while I looked for you. I went to your house first," he grimaced. "I followed your trail from there."

Jacob didn't know that little John wasn't the one who bit me, but Edward. I wouldn't tell Jacob. Edward had been right; I didn't want to start an unnecessary war with the Cullen family. Pack safety came first. A war wouldn't fall under that heading.

Through the side mirror of the car I looked at the fading half-moon mark on my neck. It was ironic how something as loving as the shape of the moon, could be combined with a deadly kiss.

"Ah," I puffed. "Burning the pieces, that would certainly help."

"I have been wondering though," he said. "How did you get these?" He brushed his hand over the cuts on my hand. He then looked at me with positively cunning eyes. "And these…" He softly traced a cut from my forehead to my cheek. And let his big but gentle hand rest there. "They look like glass cuts, but there was no broken glass at your home."

_There was at Edward's house._ "Er," _Edward's house! Tell him. _"John did it."

He cocked his head.

I nodded like an idiot, as if it would make the lie more plausible or silence that ridiculous inner voice. "He fought like a little girl." I flapped my hands in front of me mimicking the stereotypical girl fight.

Jacob bellowed laughing. "That sucker didn't have the moves, huh?" he jeered. "Yeah, I had hoped for more of a challenge." Once his face quietened he gave me a quizzical glance.

"You know Vivian, I'm not so sure that you should fight vampires again. You…" he paused, "you heal too slow."

What did he mean with that? I'd go after who ever still posed a threat, and I'd give Edward what he deserved with or without him. I'd deal with being alone. "Who died and made you pack leader?" His smile turned bemused. "I'm wolf just like you. You heal _just_ as fast."

There was abrupt cloud coverage in front of the sunny personality. He moved his hand through his hair and after an odd blink of the eye he replaced it on the steering wheel. It didn't make sense to me. Over the last couple of hours I would have expected that by drawing out similarities between us would only fire up that happiness in him. He wasn't modest in hiding his affections.

"I heal a little faster than you do," he said tentatively.

Alright, I could live with that. He _was_ a different type of wolf after all. "How fast?"

He opened the dashboard in front of me and took out a pocketknife. Before it dawned on me what his intentions were – I mean, seriously! He cut a deep lateral gash across his hand.

The small metal cabin was instantly filled with his musky scented blood. Instinctively I moved closer to examine, tend to the wound, or create one of my own, the moron. But I instantly shied away again. The tanned skin on both sides of the gash started pulling together out of their own accord. Once the flaps touched, they blended into a soft pink line, as if the cut had occurred a day ago instead of mere seconds.

Whatever Jacob found on my face made him elaborate, verbally this time. "Bloodsuckers don't fight fair. Skill sometimes isn't enough to beat them. We heal fast only so we can be equals, though a vampire can never equal much."

I groaned. I had so hoped that Jacob would be normal. No, that wasn't entirely true. I had assumed he _was_ normal. I didn't know hoping would be required. I felt my moral drop. Perhaps _he _was normal, maybe _I_ was the odd one out.

"Vivian?" he questioned. His other eyebrow joined the raised one.

"Tell me everything," I said in a calm tone. "Everything that is different about you. I want to know. Now, before we leave this car."

Seeing as we were almost at Sam's, he reluctantly pulled over on top of a cliff. Because the car blocked the view of the ground, it appeared like we were flying above the ocean that swirled randomly beneath us. Even though it was midday, the sun wasn't very high in the sky. Seasons change, along with everything else. I released a sigh.

While Jacob talked, my mouth remained shut, and my eyes focussed on the white brine heads in the distance. I listened to him for fifteen minutes until he became quiet once more. Please put your seat back and folding trays in their full upright position. JacobAir has touched ground.

Not only did he heal like a vampire, but he was immortal too. No, scratch that. Once he would abandon his wolf form for years would he age again, and only if he'd never shift. Now, I wasn't _seriously_ considering him for a possible soul mate, but what good would that do me? Why didn't he tell me before?

He also told me there was an injunction in his pack. What this implied was, that if Sam (being the pack-leader) gave an order, the rest would _have_ to follow. Even if they didn't want to, it would be as if they physically have no choice but to obey. It appalled me. An excellent pack would have a wise leader, and loyal followers. By following their leader, Jacob and the others would have no choice, respect, or dignity in doing so.

And… he was actually a year younger than me. The fact that he looked twenty-five was because he was wolf. It was the shape he would stay until he'd stop shifting.

Jacob's hands were always doing something when he was talking about something he wasn't particularly happy about. He moved his hands through his hair when discussing the injunction, his fingers traced the brand name on the steering wheel when he told me his real age.

"Is this all?" I asked him warily. Moon forbid he'd spring something else on me.

"I guess so. I'll inform you when I think of something else." He smiled again, I preferred him that way.

I knew these things weren't his fault, nor that they really mattered in the long run, but I couldn't bring myself to smile back at him. Since I moved to Forks, I got the distinct impression that life was moving too fast. There was too much change all around; the recently deceased father, the different school, the surroundings, the lack of pack, the presence of Edward, then the lack of, and now Jacob, who wasn't what I expected him to be. It felt like all these things were bubbling inside me waiting to spill over.

Jacob seemed to be studying me. "Let's get this meeting over with," I muttered. "I want to run."

He blinked. "Run where?"

_I wish he would understand me. _

_Pack safety_, I told myself. It was what kept me in the car right then, instead of throwing the oversized clothes on the floor and finding comfort within those strong coloured leaves. I needed to discus Victor and Volturi with Sam.

"Just drive," I told him sourly. After seeing his reaction to those words I immediately regretted them. "I'm sorry Jacob, but I really need to hunt."

He nodded and started the engine.

* * *

When we approached Sam's small grey house I knew something was off. There was a distinct smell of human in the air. Jacob opened the front door before I could ask him about it. Behind the door the source of the smell revealed itself. A dark-haired girl with dominant cheekbones and small eyes sat in the centre of the kitchen between Jared and Paul. Sam, Embry, and my mom were there too. It was odd for a human to be here at the pack meeting. I wondered what the girl had done wrong, and what fate was in stall for her. 

"Hey Vivian! God you look awful," Embry said amused and a little horrified. Jared lifted his hand in greeting. I waved back at the two, but the sleeve had gone over my hand and didn't show.

"Vivian, are you actually in there?" Paul joked. My mom came over and gave me a fierce hug.

"Oh, I only heard about it afterwards. You'd better hang out with Mr. Muscles here," she gave Jacob a push on the chest, "because I will not stand to be put through worry again."

Jacob winked at me cheekily. Sam gave me a pleased nod in acknowledgement to my presence. None seemed to pay special attention to the human in our midst. Something else was different, Jared didn't look at me the way he used to, like the other three young wolves were currently doing.

Sam spoke up, "Jacob, did you find any leads on other vampires when…"

I exclaimed a gurgle.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked.

My eyes flared incredulity. The last time humans had discovered the werewolf secret, it had ended in several deaths. "Don't we have a bit of _human_ problem in this kitchen?" I moved my eyes in the direction of the girl. I noticed that Jared's expression became hostile… to me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't leave time for introductions," Sam said. "This is Kim. She is Jared's girlfriend." He then turned to Jacob to discus vampire matters. In our old pack, dating a human would have been such taboo! Let alone discussing preternatural things in front of them. I looked at my mom for further explanation. She merely shrugged when she saw my face.

"Jared imprinted." Embry explained quietly to me while the other wolves continued their discussion. "They're a couple now. She knows everything about us and will be part of our group until she dies. Jared and Kim now share a connection of adoration and commitment that is unbreakable."

_Adoration? Commitment?_ I looked at the couple. I only now noticed that their hands were entwined. _Unbreakable…_ it must be. How else could they allow such a thing to continue?

"How did it happen?" I asked Embry.

"We're not sure how it happens, it's very rare. What we know is that once you are able to shift, you'll see a girl and fall completely in love with her, and there is nothing you can do about it."

Jacob and Sam were completely absorbed in thoughts. I wished I had paid more attention to them. "West eh?" Jacob mused. "Maybe he was only fleeing in that direction so he would have more miles of forest. But I too smelled a second scent on him. We have to know where we can find the other one."

"That would probably be Shelton," I said steadily. "I think Victor is in the area of Shelton. But Ed-, the Cullens probably took care of it."

"So you were right," Jared told Sam.

"It appears to be so," Sam mused darkly. "Olympia, now Shelton. It looks like they are moving closer to us. I wonder what it is that they want. Vivian, do you know?"

"I'm not sure, Edward," I paused. The hate that came pared with that name made me feel out of balance within myself. I tried again, "Edward thought Victor was looking for something when he was listening to his thoughts." This confused the pack. I explained the phenomenon of vampire gifts to them. They weren't too happy with the news, but very grateful that I was so well informed. I told them Volturi might be coming and that it roused fear in the Cullens. I couldn't expand too much on that topic; the royal vampire family was mostly mystery to me. I told them that little John, the one they managed to track and kill, was glad to know that I was a Gandillon. And that Victors gift had been the one of desire.

"Vivian," Sam said. "you have to go and talk to Edward and find out what he and his family know."

"Forget it," I told Sam. I saw the Quileute boys snigger. I wasn't affected by their injunction. I could tell Sam no, they couldn't.

"I understand that it won't be pleasant, but you must understand that we need to know this information in order to protect - not only the pack - but also the humans." I squinted at him. He wouldn't realise what it would do to me. Perhaps I could go to Alice instead, a more comforting thought. I wondered what her attitude was to me now. Sam continued, "When those cuts heal, you should go to school again. It would be a safe environment to talk. Some of us could come with you if you would feel more secure."

I felt an invisible weight press down on me, but I ignored it. "I'll do it, alone. I'll go tomorrow." I took a deep breath and held it for a second before I let it escape. I longed for the woods. "Is there something else you need from me? I'd like to go for a run now."

"You may leave," Sam said. He made it sound like I was asking permission, I wasn't. I was merely asking if he had more questions or so. "Jacob, I'd like for you to stay behind. I need your input on a few strategies."

_No, he won't._ "Jacob made me a promise. He'll talk to you later." I pulled Jacob by his T-shirt and together we walked out of the door. It wasn't a surprise that Jacob followed willingly. However, I had expected Sam to pull rank and make him stay.

Once we left the house I let go of Jacob and immediately started with stripping my feet from the oversized shoes and socks. I leapt in the air just so I'd land in the nearby leaves with a flourish. The leaves randomly fluttered back down. Great Moon how they tickled my sense of smell, touch and sight. Jacob followed at a calm pace.

"Why do you think he let you leave?" I asked him while removing the jacket and throwing it next to the shoes. The t-shirt would be next.

"He doesn't mind that I spend time with you." Jacob smiled at me, though his answer seemed mildly evasive.

"But why do you think he let you leave?" Jacob frowned and seemed lost in thought. _It wasn't such a hard question._

"Sam thinks… it would be good for us, to bond." He appeared to think about every word with extra care. He smiled broadly when he was done.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because y-" he massaged his throat and sighed. "I don't know."

I turned to remove the remainder of my clothes. The fresh air tickled my sprouting pelt. The soft sound when my forearms hit the ground was accompanied by the popping of joints. Once the transformation was complete there was a full-grown wolf ready waiting next to me. His brown pelt had a healthy shine and glistened gold in the sun. He was a large wolf, quite a bit taller than me. The autumn scenery made him look powerful and beautiful.

In an unspoken cue, we simultaneously started running through the woods. Every time I dodged a tree or jumped over a bush, my muscles provided that extra push. It felt good and natural to be moving again. I may not be able to control everything happening around me. But my body, this I could control. I knew exactly what amount of strength it took to reach certain heights and speeds, and was able to execute those strengths according to my desire. This was lovely.

Jacob moved fast and silently next to me. The leaves tumbled in his wake. It felt good to be running alongside a wolf. How times had changed… He turned to look at me. Something in his eyes didn't seem right. Wolf expressions weren't as easily interpreted, but it appeared to me as doubt. He shouldn't have to worry about the hunting. He'd be embracing the wolf in him. I was sure he wouldn't want this hunt to be his last when we returned. I drew in air to bark encouragingly at him, but that's when I smelt prey; there was a hare close by. My instincts kicked in as I lunged off on a tangent. Soon thereafter I found the little rascal and chased it. Hares are nowhere near as fast as a loup-garou, but they like to alternate their direction rapidly in order to evade their predator, in my case, it made the chase a little more fun. After I decided I'd messed around with it enough, I caught it and snapped its neck; the animal shouldn't have to suffer unnecessarily.

There was no describing the taste of the meat; so healthy, so fresh. I'd had some time to recover, I wasn't at my weakest, but this lone hare restored me to my optimal strength. The external cuts and bruises would heal within a day.

I hadn't forgotten about Jacob, he was sitting on the ground a modest distance away from me. I walked towards him. It would be his turn now. He seemed distracted by nothing in particular. I sat down and shifted to girl, my knees were close to my shoulders while my arms rested on my legs to give me some coverage – I didn't want Jacob to be distracted right now.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Do you still want to give hunting a try?" His eyes became kinder. It's not like I meant to _force_ the guy. Being alone was what I wanted to prevent. But to my pleasure, the wolf gave a hesitant nod.

"Ok then, I'll be right behind you." I shifted shape. _This should be interesting to watch._

Jacob started running filled with determination. I had no problem staying near him. However, three minutes had passed, and in the meantime I had caught the smell of bore, dear, and a few birds – but who _really_ wants to mess around with all those feathers? In only the fourth minute did Jacob deviate from his path, when the scent of another hare caught his nose. I guess he wanted to start off small. He didn't playfully chase it like I had, but gave the animal a smack with his front paw. A small popping sound followed and the hare tumbled over while making a painful shrieking noise. It was a bit messy I admit, but I waited patiently behind him while he approached the creature. When he reached it at slothful speed, he merely looked down upon the wheezy animal for half a minute.

I approached him. This was taking too long, and the hare was in pain. Jacob turned to me. His eyes were filled with great sadness. _Poor Jacob_. It was a little disappointing for me, but he shouldn't have to feel sad. I licked his muzzle to cheer him up, and then approached the hare. _I'll just snap its neck and we'll go back._ However, Jacob instantly jumped between the hare and me. What was he playing at? The animal was suffering. I moved to the left to go around him, Jacob adjusted to block my path. I mentally fired incredulity at him. _If I can't go around you, I'll go over you._ I jumped in the air but he mimicked the move and knocked me down, it hurt a little.

This was getting ridiculous. His stance was determined, his eyes defiant. I bared my teeth at him. Why knock me down over a hare that would be better off dead? I should be higher in his list of 'to protect' than this animal. Then it hit me like lightning. I knew why. He was merely spending time with me because Sam had ordered him to, and because of the injunction he wouldn't be able to refuse. Jacob even mentioned that Sam wanted us to 'bond'. A low growl reverberated within my chest. He probably didn't even _want_ to be around me. Why else choose a rodent over me, an ex-vampire girl? Incredible how the thought enraged me! How could I trust him? If all he is doing could have been an order. How could I even ask him for the truth if he has been told not to tell me? I bet he did know the reason why Sam wants him to spend time with me. He just wasn't sharing.

From Edward's deceits and lies, I entered a pack full of new deceits and lies.

I lunged at Jacob with all my might. Jacob didn't expect this fire in me. I managed to pull my claws through his shoulder. Traces of musky blood seeped out. This attack hadn't been for the hare. This had been for me. I was angry at Edward, and at Aunt Persia for not telling me why my hair turned white, and at Sam who exchanged my trust for mistrust. And finally, I was angry at Jacob for healing at the speed he did. The wound I had made was gone. Everything that had been bubbling within me, was starting to spill over. And Jacob seemed a perfect symbol for everything that felt wrong in my life. I lunged at him again, this time I aimed for his face. Jacob evaded me. The moron still kept putting himself between the hare and me. Didn't he realise that this was bigger than that?

Jacob barked at me, I growled back. I charged once more and snapped at his neck. He wasn't fast enough to _completely_ elude me, so I settled for his ear instead. He didn't even yelp which maddened me all the more. Jacob started to fight back. When his teeth tried to come near me, I'd bend to move away from them. When my claw nearly scraped his nose, he would angle his head in the corresponding direction. After a few moments of alternate attacking and evading, he tried to claw me from a different angle. This time I managed to take his paw in my muzzle, and didn't wait to bite down as hard as I could. Jacob groaned softly. He grabbed me from the neck with his muzzle and hoisted me into the air.

Because he was so tall, the ground was unattainable to me. I tried to kick or claw him instead but still I couldn't reach. Jacob shook me. Once he stopped the shaking, I attempted to harm him a second time, but he was out of reach. Jacob responded to my struggles by shaking me again. Once he stopped, I waited. The lack of possible ways to defy him was frustrating. A few moments passed, while the large brown wolf continued to hold the tawny and white one by the neck. He didn't move, and neither did I. After some time, the reasons for my anger and their connection to Jacob seemed to blur.

I decided to shift form. It was uncomfortable to change in this position, but not impossible. Jacob raised his neck so that even in human form I couldn't reach the ground. "Would you mind putting me down now?" I asked a little agitated but in a calm tone.

Jacob started to lower me, my toes were pointing down in anticipation for the ground. I wasn't going to hang around here; I'd go back alone. But Jacob only lowered me so he could jerk me upwards with such force that it hurt and send me flying in the air. Airborne I massaged my neck, _did he really have to be that rough?_ I knew it was hypocritical of me, but still. Once gravity managed to kick in I landed in Jacob's human arms. I had to admit it was witty of him to shift like that. I couldn't have escaped.

His arms were radiating enough heat to keep me warm. Jacob looked down on me with a neutral expression. He then moved his gaze in front of him.

"You've lied to me," he said calmly.

I didn't know what he was talking about. But he was going to regret bringing up the topic of lying. "You've lied to me too," I replied equally as coolly.

"What makes you say that?" He looked at me again, a slight frown on his face.

"You only spend time with me because Sam ordered you to. You personally couldn't care less," I accused.

"Sam _suggested_ I'd spend time with you. It wasn't an order." Wouldn't the world be a happy place if I could just believe that? I've been deceived too often.

"How do I know that's not what he made you tell me? How do I know he didn't order you to lie?"

He seemed a little taken aback by that. "I guess you can't know," he said in lower volume. I turned my head away from his inspecting stare, but his arms encircled me, there was nowhere to look. "Even if I was ordered to lie, you weren't. And yet you did."

"What are you talking about?"

"You gave me the impression you were a lousy fighter. But none of the other wolves ever managed to lay a scratch on me when we'd be sparring. You did. That little kid of a vampire could never have hurt you that severely. Something happened to you. But that vampire wasn't it."

_Damn_, I hadn't expected him to be this observant. He didn't seem the type. I looked at him. A large part of me would like to cough up all the things that have been rotting in my mind. The other part wanted to defy his sorry ass.

"You share all your thoughts in wolf form right? With the other Quileutes?" He nodded. "So everything I tell you, they will know too won't they?" Again he nodded, it seemed to aggravate him as well. I had to think about this. How could I trust one who can't keep a secret, and might be lying to me against his will? I was still mentally debating on what I would or would not tell him when Jacob spoke up,

"I know how you can find out whether or not there is an injunction withholding me from what I want to say." Jacob had a menacing grin on his face. He put me down.

I sat down as before, with my knees up and in front of me. "I'm listening…" I told him guardedly. He mimicked my seating position.

"You can ask me questions, and whether it is true or not, I will answer 'yes'. If I can't answer a certain question. You'll know something is up."

"So you'll just say 'yes' to anything I say even if it is not true?"

"That's right. And if I can't, then you'll know why." He squinted his eyes at me. "Let me raise my right hand for 'yes'. In case I feel like I have to enlighten you. Now it's up to you to ask the right questions. I can't help you with that."

I noticed that Jacob was really making an effort here on my behalf. He just offered his mind to me blindly; something that I couldn't have dared to ask but was very grateful for.

"Jacob, I'm sorry about attacking. I shouldn't have gone all manic on you."

He smiled. "Its ok. I understand."

What was there to understand? I had no good reason to. I wondered where the hare went. It probably limped off somewhere. I hoped it could survive instead of dying a slow death. I started with the questions.

"Is your name Jacob Black?" He raised his hand, implying the answer was 'yes'.

"Are you gay?"

"What???" he exclaimed.

"I need to know that you will say yes to anything. How else can I know if you're not lying?"

He sighed and raised his right hand. I suppressed a smile.

"Have you ever murdered a human?"

He raised his right hand. "Vivian, you know that these things aren't true right?"

I moved the leaves on top of me. I was starting to get cold. "Yes I know." _Alright, now for the real questions._ "Is there something Sam told you not to tell me?"

Jacob smiled but his hand didn't move. He couldn't answer that. "Did he give you more than one injunction in order to prevent me finding out whatever it may be?" The smile was still there and the hand didn't move. "Ok," I said. "Does he give these injunctions because he doesn't trust you?"

He raised his hand but specified, "No, he trusts me with his life and that of others. He just thinks it is important that-" He stopped and tried again. "He thinks you shouldn't know."

"Do you think I should know… the thing?"

He raised his hand. "Yes, I think it will help." _What on earth could it be?_

"Did Sam _make_ you spend time with me?"

He raised his hand. "No, that's all me."

I smiled at him. What a relief. "Do you know why he thinks it is good for you to spend time with me?"

His hand didn't move.

"Is there anyway I can find out by myself?"

Jacob's looked like he was going to burst, but his hand didn't move. _So there must be a way._ I felt like I was grasping at air. I never truly enjoyed these mind games. What could possibly be this important that Sam ordered him not to talk to me about, even if I guessed? That this was the only way… Sweet moon, I had an epiphany.

"Does it have to do with my white hair?"

"Hallelujah!" he praised. His hand didn't move. Suddenly a thousand questions popped into mind. But, all of them seemed surprisingly useless. I'd have to take it up with Sam, or perhaps mom, she had acted strange on the phone. Then another thing dawned on me.

"Sam will know I've been fishing for truth like this. He'll know you helped me."

He raised his hand. "It's ok." He smiled at me again. I could almost feel the warmth of it from where I was sitting. I edged closer to him in pursuit of that warmth.

It was Jacob's turn to ask questions. "Did you lie to me about those cuts on your face? Or anything related to the fight between you and that little bloodsucker." I knew it wasn't necessary, but I raised my right hand instead of voicing the word. It felt like betrayal for some reason. I knew the whole pack would know the truth. Jacob couldn't help it, but I didn't want to lie to him anymore.

"Is there a good reason why you lied to me about it?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered. To prevent a war starting between the Cullens and Quileutes.

He took a deep breath of air and closed his eyes. "Then I'll trust you for it."

I felt so relieved, so very irrationally touched by his faith in me, that I could just… and I did. I kissed him, on his lips where I wanted to. His eyes sprang open in surprise but closed again when he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. It was a warm and safe place in his embrace. The kiss deepened. It didn't quite stir the same feelings as with Edward, but this was merely the beginning, and this was _real_ - which meant so much more. The leaves were accommodating as we lay down and stroked each other's backs. I was aware of a certain proof that Jacob wasn't gay, but we ignored it.

For the first time in what seemed to me like a lifetime, I felt calm, appreciated for who I was, and not alone. I hoped I could stay here with him forever.


	23. Protective

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I felt so relieved, so very irrationally touched by his faith in me, that I could just… and I did. I kissed him, on his lips where I wanted to. His eyes sprang open in surprise but closed again when he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. It was a warm and safe place in his embrace. The kiss deepened. It didn't quite stir the same feelings as with Edward, but this was merely the beginning, and this was _real_ - which meant so much more. The leaves were accommodating as we lay down and stroked each other's backs. I was aware of a certain proof that Jacob wasn't gay, but we ignored it.

For the first time in what seemed to me like a lifetime, I felt calm, appreciated for who I was, and not alone. I hoped I could stay here with him forever.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 23 – Protective

The night had come, the land was dark, and the waning moon cast long shadows. The ravenous car engine ceased. After two clanks of closing doors, only the soft crunch of gravel sang in tune with the sounds of the forest. The air was cold, but I didn't feel it. My house would be empty, but my mind would know better. My heart had been torn, yet it still managed to beat. And all because of Jacob.

He was the only one who wasn't against me. I had badgered Sam _and_ my mom about my white hair. Yet both kept denied knowing anything about it. Sam had given Jacob a passive stare, which I knew hid his extreme disapproval. It didn't matter. I'd find out one way or another.

I led the way upstairs to my room. Jacob's eyes narrowed and his pulse gave this one extra kick in what I assumed to be anger. I knew the reason for his reaction, for I could smell it too. A vampire's scent did not just evaporate overnight. Jacob appeared to ignore it though. He swept his gaze over my bed, desk, and closet, and then moved to the balcony and took a larger interest in what could be seen out there.

"Would you mind leaving your balcony door unlocked?" he asked as he turned around.

I rolled my eyes. "You can just stay here you know."

He was next to me in one long stride and stroked a bit of hair behind my ears. The warmth felt comforting. He chuckled. "I think I'll be of more use if I keep my eyes on the nearby road and trees than on something overwhelmingly more beautiful."

I snorted. "But thanks to you, John never got the chance to report back to Victor. Victor doesn't know yet for sure that I'm a werewolf, let alone a Gandillon. The chance that he'd show up tonight is minimal."

He shook his head. "I'm afraid that _because_ his buddy didn't report back, he'll know something is up. Plus, no human could take John out. It is exactly the reason we have to be more careful."

I knew all of that. I was just hoping I could persuade him to stay anyway. Not that him paroling outside was an unworthy second. I couldn't help but wonder if Edward would have done the same for me. But even to this I knew the answer, the _real_ Edward wouldn't have.

Paul and Embry had offered to join Jacob in keeping guard. However, Jacob said that I was a good fighter. Plus, they could make it here in ten minutes if they ran. We could hold off any vampire if it really came to that. But a part of me suspected that he just wanted to be left alone with me.

"So," I purred and enclosed the last remnant of space between us. "There is _nothing_ I can do to persuade you to stay?"

He threw his arms around me and held me there. "You don't realise what a bloody mess you were when I pulled you out of the snow. I don't ever, ever want to see that again. So therefore, no, there is nothing you can do to persuade me." He narrowed his eyes at me threateningly. "So stop trying."

"Ow, awright," I sulked.

He ruffled the hair on my head, which he had just neatly put behind my ear, and disappeared out of the balcony door.

I took a shower and got ready for bed. Occasionally I thought I heard leaves stir, and I could smell Jacob's scent on the air coming through the balcony. Even though I enjoyed the feeling of safety, I couldn't repress the nagging thoughts about tomorrow. My bruises and scrapes were minimal enough to pass for normal. Tomorrow I'll to go back to school and talk to Alice and get an update from her… if she'd be willing to give it. I needed to hear if they kept all videos off the internet and from the Volturi, not just because I needed to know, but it was important to the pack. For those videos showed Edward playing the piano and me dancing with inhuman speed at the restaurant _Vicini Vicini_.

I tried to keep my mental focus on Alice. Yet soon her topaz eyes soon transformed to those of Edward. He'd made me his own personal toy. Only when he tried to kill me did he decide that I wasn't worth the trouble anymore… I had no idea how I would react to him tomorrow. Nobody had ever treated me this bad, nobody I had cared about. Would I be able to control myself if he so much as looked at me? Would I attack him now that my strength was optimal unlike last time? Rationally it would be a definite 'no'. But, I felt so shaky lately. Could it be due to the vampires? Edward, Victor, and John? No, no, it must be because of the healing. After the last time I healed is when it really started.

Distant movement stirred the air once more. And by simply knowing he was there, the hidden tension in my neck and shoulders eased.

* * *

I knew I was dreaming. Yet forest scene did not induce the accompanied sense of tranquillity. This time, the red leaves were red due to blood. The moonlit liquid appeared black as it crept between my toes. Suddenly all of it was overwhelmed by the strong scent of sandalwood and musk. Oh, and how I craved the scent and the release it brought. A little distracted, I parted my lips to breathe in more of it. But I couldn't because other lips were blocking my way. I opened my eyes and kissed Jacob back.

He pulled me from under the sheets and placed me on his lap. "Hey Viv, how did you sleep?"

A little shaken, I elongated my legs and pointed my toes. When the last traces of sleep were chased from me, I replied. "I slept well." I kissed his rough cheek. "Thank you."

He looked a little tired, but I could be mistaken for he had the exact same look yesterday. "Jacob, you do… sleep right?"

He laughed. "Yes, it comes with the whole being-alive thing, but because my body regenerates faster, I need less." I wasn't too convinced. Perhaps he's been tired all along. "I'll sleep once I'm sure you're safe," he assured.

He wasn't the typical kind of wolf like I'd come to expect over the years in a pack. And yet he was. When a male werewolf considers you his, he'll want to be the dominant one in the relationship. He then in turn would protect what he sees as his property at all costs. I hadn't considered Jacob as the territorial type, but because he was wolf, I guess it was only natural.

After I got dressed, we had toast instead of cereal for breakfast (because the milk was expired). I collected my books and forged a doctor's note that would explain my days of absence. I signed the note with 'Carlisle Cullen'. Friends or foe, vampires and werewolves had secrets to maintain. He would help keep it. Plus, so far Edward was the only Cullen who had really f----- me over. I wasn't sure about the other vampires.

We drove my Spider to school today; Jacob was at the wheel. The weather was dark and cloudy, which was good in our case. Jacob said he'd hang around my school today, just to be sure I was safe. I tried explaining that I'd be fine. They couldn't harm me in public; no vampire would take that chance. Yet he didn't take 'no' for an answer.

I eyed him suspiciously as he parked the car in Fork's High School's parking lot. "Raise your right hand for 'yes'. Did Sam put you up to this?"

A tremor passed through him. Yet I did not believe it to be anger related. He didn't lift his hand.

"I would have chosen to be here regardless," he finally uttered.

I contained my agitated sigh. "Is that the truth?" I asked.

He raised his right hand. "Yes."

I smiled at him, reminding myself that this was not his fault. I heard a racket of familiar laboured footsteps from behind.

"Vivian!" Bridget hollered. "Where the hell – oops, sorry – have you been?" She was carrying a collection of white plastic bags that impaired her movement as she knocked some ninth graders out of her way. She didn't realise I was in the other side of my car and bumped into Jacob as he got out.

"Oh!" she said exasperated and dropped half of her load on the floor. "Oh my, I eh…" I came up behind her and picked a few bags.

"Hey, Bridget. I was ill. This is Jacob."

He held out his hand. She took it and smiled politely. "Nice to meet you." She then inconspicuously turned her back to Jacob as she picked up the last bag. She leaned into me and whispered. "Damn Vivian, you do know how to pick them! Is he taken?"

Jacob, who could easily hear her, struggled between a chuckle and a frown and ended up with something distorted before he cleaned his face. He placed a claiming arm on my opposite hip. I nudged him in the side because I knew it would make her uncomfortable.

"Jacob is kind of my boyfriend," I told her.

She pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow in thought. She turned to Jacob and said "I'm gonna steal her from you for two minutes." A low growl rumbled in his chest. Apparently he was more territorial than even I imagined. "Jeez," Bridget bawled. "I'm _straight_ and I don't bite." She linked her arm in mine and pulled me away a few cars down. Jacob would still be able to hear us, but I had nothing to hide.

"You know I'm not a judgemental person. But I don't like following the social _etiquette_." She rolled her eyes at the latter word. "So I'll just ask you straight out. Are you dating him to get over Edward? Or is you dating Jacob the reason why Edward left? And how do you get the hot guys within such a short time-span? I've been trying to flirt with Shady for so long but I'm such a noob. However, he must be too because I think he's falling for m-"

"Wait," I interrupted. "What do you mean Edward left?"

"Well, like you, he didn't show up on Friday. And yesterday the teacher announced that the Cullen family had moved on to California."

Edward was gone? I'd never see him again? Yes, I hated his guts. But… the thought made me sad nonetheless. I shook my head and deliberated the information we needed. California was too sunny for a vampire to live. They went somewhere else, and told the lie just to elude us. It was selfish of them not to inform us of how the vampire world was faring. I welcomed the anger as it replaced the whiff of sadness away within a second.

I turned to see what Jacob's reaction was to all this. But he wasn't where we had left him. After scanning the grounds, I spotted him next to the cafeteria talking to Shady. I turned to Bridget to see a sign of recognition in their meeting, but she wasn't paying attention to them. I wasn't aware Jacob knew anybody _human_ in this school. I tried to filter out their conversation against all the surrounding noise (including Bridget).

"What are you doing here?" Jacob sounded less than happy. He looked intimidating compared to Shady, who wasn't the smallest himself.

"I go to school here," Shady uttered in astonishment.

"Samuel wasn't informed."

This took me aback. How would Shady know the pack leader?

"I thought it would be logical I'd go to school here," he replied earnestly. "It would be easier for me to-."

Jacob released a heated breath. "It was foolish."


End file.
